Here's one from an HP reader from the Denver '80's crash:
This joke from the late 80s Denver housing crash centered around condos in Aurora (the Denver suburb with thousands of low end condos).
"Question: What's the difference between having VD and a condo in Aurora?Answer: You can get rid of VD"
July 04, 2006
Tell your best housing bubble joke here
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What's the most dangerous month to buy a house?
A: October.
This is one of the peculiarly dangerous months to speculate housing. The others are July, January, September, April, November, May, March, June, December, August and February.
- thank you Mark Twain
What is a realtor's Best Friend?
Glass.
Did you hear they've stopped using rats in labortory experiments and are using realtors instead? Sure, three reasons:
1. There are more of them.
2. The researchers don't get emotionally attacted.
3. For ethical reasons there are some things a rat just won't do.
LOL!!
good one Robert!
Q: What is the difference between a Realtor and a carp?
A: One is a scum sucking bottom feeder and the other is a fish.
How many realtors does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
They screw buyers and sellers not lightbulbs.
Q: How can you tell if a Realtor is lying?
A: Their lips are moving.
Knock knock
Who's there?
Real
Real Who?
Real tore
Real tore Who?
Real tore up about the housing market.
hahahaha
Why It's Cheaper to Live in St. Mary's County, Maryland.
After 3 years of no pay raises, but alarmed that all of his financially strapped friends are buying outrageously priced homes in places like St. Mary's County despite insanely rising prices, a man living on the edge in Washington, D.C goes to the local Mortgage Banker.
The potential home buyer explains to the Banker that all of his friends have moved out of the city and that he's worried about missing out on the experience of home ownership that the President's been talking about on TV, but he has concerns he says, because he's read that their might be a Housing Bubble.
The shrewd Mortgage Banker makes a point of checking to see if anyone is nearby, and then closes the office door. He then sits down in his luxurious leather chair, and beckons the man to sit down in front of his desk.
Leaning back he says, "my friend, the secret is no one is really paying those house payments in St. Mary's County. This whole Housing Bubble phenomenon is really about stealing tax deductions from the Local, State and Federal Government," the old Banker explains.
The Banker then grills the man with some common loan questions.
Mortgage Banker: How many days are there in a year?
Home Buyer: 365 days and sometimes 366.
Mortgage Banker: How many hours make up a day?
Home Buyer: 24 hours.
Mortgage Banker: How many hours do you work in a day?
Home Buyer: 8am to 4pm, usually 8 hours a day.
Mortgage Banker: In order to experience home ownership, your friends have given up the hectic city life in exchange for long commutes from Southern, MD. So if we get you into a house what fraction of the day would you actually live in your home way down there in St. Mary's County after subtracting your commute time, gas fillups, Starbucks stops, rides on the Metro, finding parking spaces here in D.C, and shopping after work etc?
Home Buyer: (He did some arithmetic and replied 8/24 or 1/3 (one third).
Mortgage Banker: That's great, so what is one-third of 366 days?
Home Buyer: 122 days Sir! (1/3 X 366 = 122 days)
Mortgage Banker: How many people are ever home on the weekends?
Home Buyer: None Sir!
Mortgage Banker: How many days are there in a year that are weekends?
Home Buyer: 52 Saturdays and 52 Sundays = 104 days.
Mortgage Banker: Great, now if you remove those 104 days from the 122 days that people are never home, how many days do you now have?
Home Buyer: 18 Days
Mortgage Banker: OK! People take two weeks of vacation time each year and go to Disney World with the kids. Now remove those 14 days from the 18 days left. How many days remain?
Home Buyer: Four days.
Mortgage Banker: Do you visit your Mother on New Years day?
Home Buyer: Yes Sir!
Mortgage Banker: Do you go to a friends BBQ on Labor Day?
Home Buyer: Yes Sir!
Mortgage Banker: So how many days are left?
Home Buyer: Two Sir!
Mortgage Banker: Do you visit friends and give out presents on Christmas day?
Home Buyer: Yes Sir!
Mortgage Banker: Do you go to the fireworks on the Fourth of July?
Home Buyer: Yes Sir!
Mortgage Banker: How many days in the year are left that you are actually home?
Home Buyer: None Sir!
Mortgage Banker: So, do you see how all these people are getting this free money and tax deductions?
Home Buyer: Yes Sir, and I'd like to get that interest only home loan right now!
The title of a news story I saw a few weeks ago:
How to buy a $450,000 house for $700,000.
Q: What's the difference between a porcupine and a Mercedes Benz full of Realtors?
A: The porcupine has the pricks on the outside.
Copied from:
http://www.ahajokes.com/law054.html
What's the difference between a Realtor and a hooker?
Ummmmmmmmmm.....there's a difference?
A priest, a rabbi, and a mortgage broker were all caught in a shipwreck.
Sharks were soon circling around. The sharks eat the priest. The rabbi starts praying fervently, but to no avail, as the sharks eat him as well. The mortgage broker is really getting worried, as a shark is coming for him. But instead the shark puts him on its back, carries him to shore, and lets him off. The mortgage broker asks, "How come you didn't eat me too?" And the shark replied, "Professional Courtesy!"
http://tinyurl.com/jt3tp
Death of the Real Estate Agent (Movie)
What's the difference between a Realtor and a bucket of crap?
The Bucket
Did you hear about the Realtor whos wife divoced him because he withdrew early and lost interest.
What's the difference between a Realtor and a bucket of sh*t?
The Bucket!
Why do realtors carry sh*t in their wallets?
For ID.
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