HousingPANIC EXCLUSIVE: Interview with publisher of the Ramen Noodles Blog

As a service to American Home Mortgage's former workers, and especially our out-of-work realtor and Desperate Homedebtor readers, this EXCLUSIVE HousingPANIC interview with Ed over at ramenramenramen:

HP: You're blog is wildly popular with ramen-eating-realtors looking for new ideas. Did you ever think ramen interest would soar while housing prices crashed?

RAMEN: Haha, I would've never linked ramen interest with housing prices, but now that you've written about it, I guess it makes sense. But besides the cheapie billion-packs-for-a-dollar kinds of ramen, there're also a lot of "upscale"instant ramen, usually found in Japanese/Asian stores that sell for $3 to over $5 bucks a bowl!

HP: Some realtors don't care about flavor, they just need the cheapest ramen they can find. What do you recommend?

RAMEN: The best choices are probably the familiar Top Ramen http://www.nissinfoods.com/topramen/ and Maruchan, which doesn't appear to have an English web site, but I know they have a large factory in Southern California because I happen to pass by it often! I think even Wal-Mart has their own private label brand of instant noodles. Other places to buy cheap instant noodles is in Chinese, Vietnamese, or Korean supermarkets.

Another web site that might be fun for your "ramen-eating-realtor" readers is "the Official Ramen Homepage" http://www.mattfischer.com/ramen/ which has tons of creative recipes using instant noodles. You can save money *and* have a good meal at the same time!

HP: For the realtor that does (pigs fly) sell a house, and wants to splurge on a ramen-feast, what tips could you offer?

RAMEN: If you go to a Japanese supermarket, you'll often find a good selection of "bowl" noodles (instant noodles in a styrofoam bowl. These are really popular in Japan, and some of them are really fancy. There are even bowl noodles modeled after the ramen in popular ramen houses across Japan!

Here's and old favorite http://www.ramenramenramen.net/2005/02/07/ramen-rating-15/ As you can see, some of these bowl ramen come with lots of ingredients, and even meat!

The meat in this bowl ramen was particularly good (and thick too! some bowl ramen have paper-thin slices of meat): http://www.ramenramenramen.net/?p=13

I just tried this one a few weeks ago. The list of ingredients is almost gourmet and ranges from green onions, ginger, and bamboo, to judas ear mushrooms! http://www.ramenramenramen.net/2007/07/13/ramen-rating-seabura-tonkotsu-ramen/

Or better yet, I recommend everyone who enjoys noodles to patronize a local ramen house. If all you've ever had was instant ramen, you'll be amazed at the difference!

HP: I see you sell a "ramen lapel pin" - do you think realtors will be allowed to wear this along with their Century21 or Re/Max lapel pins?

I don't see why not! Who knows, it might even be a good conversation starter that'll lead to a sale!

A HousingPANIC Message for the REALTORS (ramen-eating real estate clerks) of America

I'm baaaaccckkk... Now where do I even begin? Here's one for starters, a thought for our real estate clerk friends.

Dear REALTORS of America,

It has come to our attention that unsold home inventory is at record levels, with more and more homes are being put on the market every week, and we're just getting started. This is called "exploding supply".

It also appears that home sales velocity has plummeted, as people have come to realize that you and the NAR were lying, and that real estate values can fall. People aren't buying anymore (even if they could - thank you subprime implosion), since the smart people know the same house will be cheaper next month or next year. This is called "plummeting demand".

Now, when supply is rocketing, and demand is cratering, there's this third variable called "price" that gets impacted. For homes to sell, the prices will need to come down. Drastically. And this is your job now, to help Desperate Homedebtors understand that nobody wants their home anymore, especially at last year's price.

So, it's time to do the unimaginable. It's time for you, REALTORS of America, to embrace HousingPANIC. Make HP your friend, not your enemy.

Send your sellers the link to HP. Help them understand that the game is up, homes are insanely overvalued, the fundamentals do matter, and if they want out from under their debt trap, they're gonna have to cut the price, cut it bigtime, and cut it now. And if they don't it'll get even worse tomorrow. Trust us.

Then send your prospective buyers the link to HP. Help them understand that now is a great time to buy - at 50% off. Teach them all about foreclosures, lowballing, and Desperate Homedebtors. Then get out there and lowball!

Finally, listen to the HP community when it comes to The Corrupt David Lereah, the NAR, and the usual REALTOR spin. At your next REALTOR gathering, be the one who calls for TCDL's resignation. Next time the media interviews you, or you blog, write about what a joke the NAR, your fellow REALTORS, and TCDL have become. And try telling the truth for a change - it can only help at this point. Yes, telling the truth is against your normal business model, but times have changed.

I know the idea of embracing HP is like eating glass to many of you. But at least you'd be eating something! Good luck out there. Now get those prices down - they're gonna crash anyway, so wouldn't you rather it be sooner rather than later?

HousingPANIC Stupid Question of the Day

Baby boomers have bet their entire retirement on their home's phantom equity, their company's pension, and their stock portfolio held 100% in dollars.

What happens if it all goes poof?

I fear for us. All of us.

Think it can't all go awry? Think the government will be there to take care of you? Anyone remember Katrina?

Phoenix real estate clerk: "You look out on the street and see five to ten houses for sale, but many people still don't believe things have changed"

I think someone needs to tell all the other Phoenix real estate clerks that things have changed. All those big dreams, those millions and millions you were going to make in real estate?

Poof.

Get ready for the used car lots full of repossessed Boxters and BMW's (again), get ready for declining sales at Tommy Bahama, and get ready for a rush on ramen noodles at Safeway.

(Note - that's a real picture of the real estate clerk goober interviewed in the article)

If Christopher Guest ever films a mockumentary about real estate agents, he could do worse than to make the trip to Phoenix and get a load of Brett Barry. With a George Michael beard, bleach-white teeth, perma-tan and a smattering of gold jewelry, Barry darts around his office in a strip mall, his face lighting up whenever another human comes within shouting distance.

Specializing in a planned community near Scottsdale, Barry lords over his territory in a canary-yellow Porsche Boxster whose vanity plate reads SAYSOLD. "It's a realtor thing," he says, half apologizing for, half drawing attention to his chariot. Locals tell me today is the coldest day of the year in Phoenix, but that doesn't dampen Barry's enthusiasm. "Let's put the top down!" he calls out as we get in the sports car for a tour of his domain.

Barry is skeptical of Zillow's valuations, especially in a market like Phoenix, where so many properties are languishing. If the Zestimates are based on sales, then Zillow is missing a whole lot of data. He points at a stack of pages from the MLS (for Multiple Listing Service, the nationwide database of properties for sale). "Look, 213 days, 353 days, 529 days," he says, referring to how long each house has been available. "There's a lot of fat in the market. Prices are still too high."

For any homeowner looking to sell, it's a gloomy message: These are the worst of times. Not long ago, Phoenix was the nation's fastest-growing market. The median price rose 55 percent in 2005. Agents were closing deals on the hoods of cars; investors flipped homes without ever moving in.

Fast-forward to early 2007: Throw a rock in any direction, and it'll bounce off a FOR SALE sign. "There are 45,000 listings in the Phoenix MLS, and that number hasn't changed in six months," Barry says as we cruise among lookalike stucco homes. With every passing week, the number of houses on the market rises, increasing the downward pricing pressure. "It's like a freeway pileup."

"You look out on the street and see five to ten houses for sale, but many people still don't believe things have changed," he says, shaking his head at a dirty carpet. "The average seller says, 'I need to get this much out of our house to move up.' But the market doesn't care."

HousingPANIC urges the real estate clerks of America to rebel against the NAR and demand the firing of The Corrupt David Lereah

It should now be painfully obvious, my underemployed, nothing to do, ramen-eating real estate clerk friends, that the NAR and The Corrupt David Lereah (TCDL) are no longer your friends. Their actions and activities are actually HURTING YOU, not helping you.

You are paying dues to, and still publicly supporting, an organization and it's spokesman who has made your profession a laughingstock, and "REALTOR(TM)" the least-trustworthy position in America. Yes, you are now lower than Catholic priests and stockbrokers I'd say. And that's tough to do my friends. Tough to do.

So it's time for the real estate clerks of America to rebel. Start an online petition (maybe firedavidlereah.com?) calling for the immediate dismissal of NAR Liar in Chief TCDL, and demand an apology to the American people for the continuous lies and distortion that spewed out of the NAR during the mania and subsequent collapse.

Yes, TCDL is paid to do the NAR's dirty work, to lie, to spin and to distort. Yes, he made a deal with the devil and now has a lifetime to answer for his evil deeds. But every day he stays at the NAR is like another day of the GOP hanging on to Tom DeLay. And you know where that led...

I don't expect real estate clerks to take my advice. Collectively your brain power is a bit low obviously, as your morals are too. But I'll give you this advice for free.

Real estate clerks, and the NAR, are now a joke. America will blame you for the housing crash. You have screwed people time and time again, people who TRUSTED YOU, people whose interests you were supposed to represent, all for that big commission check.

You can atone for your mistakes and evil deeds. And you can start with a house cleaning at the NAR, and the firing of your Iraqi Information Minister.

Or you continue to be seen as a joke, and eventually just whither and slither away. Which is what I think will happen in the end unless we see radical change, and soon.

Peace out. I hear Safeway is having a sale on ramen by the way.

Different professions vary greatly in how much they are trusted to give their clients or patients good advice. According to a recent Harris Poll measuring U.S. adults’ trust in 11 different professions to give advice that is best for them, the professionals trusted completely by the greatest number of adults are doctors (50%), dentists (47%), and nurses (46%). At the other end of the list, those with the fewest adults saying they trust them completely are stockbrokers (6%), real estate agents (7%) and insurance agents (9%).

LA real estate clerk on his office: "The rest are looking for side jobs at McDonald's - It happened overnight."

I think dumpster diving comes next for our realtor friends. If you see a realtor picking through the trash, someone give the poor guy a quarter, OK? Or some ramen noodles.

Here's a sign-of-the-times article from LA. Troubling, disgusting, predictable and real. The housing crash is here. And watch realtors move from screwing homedebtors into a house to screwing foreclosed homedebtors out of a house.

Picking jewels off of the dead. Yup, that's the next step for realtors.

Some analysts contend the shakeout is already over. Others maintain it hasn't even begun.

Hennigan and the company he works for, Home Center Realty, don't have the luxury of waiting to see how the story will play out. They need to make a living now, and they're betting that things are going to get worse. Maybe much worse.

During the four-year boom that ended last summer, Home Center expanded from 15 agents to 80 in three offices. The roster of agents has since sunk to 52, only about half of whom are active.

"The rest are looking for side jobs at McDonald's," said Home Center President Jason Bosch. "It happened overnight."

Hennigan works in the Norco office, a small building set on a hill off Interstate 15. He's been full-time since August 2005, when he quit his job as a route salesman for Peet's coffee. He gets a salary to help run the place, but to pay his own mortgage he still needs to earn commissions buying and selling houses.

An agent's best prospect for a sale is someone who must act now — a homeowner told by a lender to pay up or get out.These owners are in crisis. They need to refinance if they can or sell and move into something affordable. If they had an easier option, they wouldn't be behind in their payments in the first place.

Bosch, on the other hand, thinks the residential real estate market will soon revisit the horrible days of the mid-'90s — and then get worse."I have no doubt that we are entering the next phase of an unprecedented market," he says. "One that Southern California has never seen.