September 20, 2008

And now, a message of hope and prosperity for the good people of America, from Andrew Hac


The land of the Americano is slowly decaying away like a putrid carcass of a rotten whale washing up on a crowded beach for all the world eyes to see, view, commentate on the state of the once almighty nation, the land of the Snapper Turtle.

Who can we blame on this retro-deed except ourselves ? The mentality of the current Americano is just amazing if not stupefying. Empty of feeling, obligation, morality, duty, honor, sense of self-worthiness, the only way to go for the Americano is to be roasted slowly skewered from mouth to ass on a green Chinese bamboo stick, all sizzling nicely, fat popping, juices dripping over a bed of white hot charcoal.

Such is the fate of the fat-ass Americano. What a lowdown shame for such a great nation once !

George Washington is feeling real bad right now in his tomb...

But hey, SHRUB's lovers, you got what you asked for. Satisfaction guarantee from the land of the SHRUBBY & DICKY !!!

- Andrew Hac, September 20, 2008

27 comments:

bickerer said...

Empty of feeling, obligation, morality, duty, honor, sense of self-worthiness...


Yup, skip right over self-worthiness to self-importance.

Anonymous said...

I am totally in love with Andrew Hac. What he says is the truth. This great Republic is dead. We will rapidly become irrelevant and slide into a 3rd rate, theocracy. All of us obese, stupid, willfully ignorant,and working for Walmart.

I welcome our Chinese Overlords.

Anonymous said...

The good news is the government will use the 700 billion with great care and distribute money where it is needed. Every dollar will be accounted for with little or no waste. They would never allow the people who caused this to get even richer from our tax dollars. Also the cost is only going to be 700 billion not 5 trillion.

Anonymous said...

you know what is really wrong? I heard that they want to hire one of the investment banks (how many are left?) to oversee the fund!

Must be nice to make money while creating the mess and then make money to clean it up.

sundry vermin said...

Protesters outside McCain's condo this morning shout,

Every american DESERVES a house.

I'm not sure but I think their meaning is, deserves a house without obligation or duty. Honor, feeling and self-worthiness are probably pretty doubtful also.

Anonymous said...

is andrew hac a pig calling the hog fat. please. everyone had a piece of the pie and now everyone is looking at the prosperity of thier neighbors and blaming them that the whole thing has crashed and they can't profit anymore. not at least until things begin to calm down and like a gas drunken sunday driver who is back on the road when gas goes down 20 cent a gallon. People don't learn and will not learn when there is too much to gain from playing the stock market for people to quit. And so like a drug addict the games will continue on Wall Street until it pops again, and again and again. And we (I work at Wal-Mart excuse you)lower classes will pay and pay and pay for your gambling debts and we'll never be able to buy a house, a decent car, have credit cards, (so you say that's your fault you don't deserve it because you didn't go to college and get a degree and know people who have six figure jobs) well not everyone is college material (the serfs) so your rules can not apply to every living human, but every human has a right to live somewhere (not their car) because they work (at least) for a living and not have to pay for people who don't give a damn about anybody but their bottom line and themselves. So screw you and I hope you get a taste of your own medicine.

Anonymous said...

The good news is the government will use the 700 billion with great care and distribute money where it is needed. Every dollar will be accounted for with little or no waste. They would never allow the people who caused this to get even richer from our tax dollars. Also the cost is only going to be 700 billion not 5 trillion.

As a federal contractor, I would like to second this sentiment. I never see waste by the idiots who pay me. Great post.

Doc the ZEALOT said...

Empty of feeling, obligation, morality, duty, honor, sense of self-worthiness...

We laugh at honor and are shocked to find traitors in our midst.

C.S. Lewis

Miss Goldbug said...

Congrats on your own thread Andrew!

Love your writing style btw. It's quite unusual and effective.

Anonymous said...

SIZZLIN'!

bickerer said...

Anon, 5:04 PM

You're pretty F'ing smart for a Wal-Mart worker. Just to have found this place took a descent understanding of the world.

Believe it or not, you'll likely do well in the long run. Get some education, really just a two year degree. The four year degree feels like quadruple the work (it gets a lot harder for the last two years also). Just a two year degree at a community college will get you 80% of what a four year degree will. And it's not too expensive either.

Wish I could be more specific than to say the world is in need of people with brains. I'm surprised they're not tapping you for management at Wal-Mart already. It wouldn't be a bad step for while you getting the degree. And then you're ready to start making some real money somewhere else.

Two more things, don't listen to anyone who says you can't do it, and keep reading. This site is a good start.

Anonymous said...

Notice how every estimate ALWAYS adjust higher. It is now $700 billion, but give it a few weeks or months. It will be much, much higher and go higher and higher each passing years.
The Titanic is sinking and only the rich will survive without much pain.

bickerer said...

And one more thought. Don't pick up too much of the negative sentiments from this site.

I recall recently watching an interview with George Sorros where he spelled out how screwed the financial system is here and around the world. The interviewer at the end asked him, So what is America now? He replied, "Well it's still the land of opportunity, I wouldn't mind being a young man in America today".

I thought that was a pretty classy act even though I disagree with him on many issues.

Anonymous said...

When I came to America with my parents in 1970's, my father would excitedly say, "we are in the land of opportunities." He continues, "We will be rewarded with hard work unlike our old country where only the crooks will benefit from corrupted country." How ironic is it to see that my old country is more like the old USA and USA seem more like my old courtry.
I don't know if I should laugh or cry.

Lady Di said...

Andrew Hac said:

"roasted slowly skewered from mouth to ass on a green Chinese bamboo stick, all sizzling nicely, fat popping, juices dripping over a bed of white hot charcoal."

--------------------------------
Mmmmmmm. Delicious.
I'll take one to go.

Andrew Hac for president!

Anonymous said...

«And we (I work at Wal-Mart excuse you)lower classes will pay and pay and pay for your gambling debts and we'll never be able to buy a house, a decent car, have credit cards,»

The bad news is that this means that you are part of the 80% of Usians that are classified as losers. The American Dream is about a small percentage of winners getting huge options and bonuses, and a large percentage of losers ending up in the gutter; and being a winner or a loser is largely hereditary: some studies show that children of rich fathers are more likely to earn a lot than children of tall fathers are likely to be tall themselves.

Unfortunately 60% of Usians think that they are or will end up in the top 1% and therefore only despise the losers that they will soon leave behind.

If you can send even a few dollars every now and then to politicians who campaign for worker ("loser") rights. Campaign donations, even if small, count for more than votes.

The Housing Bubble Ate My Balls said...

Time for a new Political Party..

TR had the Bull Moose Party...


We need to rally and start up the Snapper Turtle Party!!

Paul E. Math said...

It's funny how he's been posting the same comment for months now but it's always appropriate.

Because it does seem like we are that screwed (or skewered). And deserve to be.

Even as I write, the sound of my fat popping as it drips into the white-hot charcoals is practically deafening. And this green bamboo shoot I have sticking out of my ass hurts like a bitch.

Anonymous said...

I told you how to solve the credit problem .

Have Hank Paulson and that good for nothing Congress and Senate go into
meetings on a bail-out . Let them stay there for 2 years . In the meantime the markets will correct and the problems will be solved .

Every time the media asks when the bail out is coming,they can just say maybe next weekend .

Anti Snapper Turtle said...

Over the past six months, I have sold almost all of my possessions, paid off all my credit cards and car loan, let my apartment lease expire and now I am ready for the next step. Hmmm...what to do, where to go?? I think I might just load up my paid-off car with my few essential possessions and move (temporarily, of course) into a nice CHEAP condo (owned by an over-extended americano, of course) near the beach and work a few hours a week (at Wal-mart, of course), until the economy changes again (which it will, of course.)

suzanne researched it... said...

Andrew,

You actually make me feel better about the situation than the endless parade of talking heads I see on TV. Perhaps it is because you are able to give me a proper perspective on things. I suspect that grilled snapping turtle could become a delicacy before this all plays out. We Americanos are getting sick of Ramen!

-SRI

Anonymous said...

My post from another thread:

Andrew Hac is the new Will Rogers.

As much as I love Andrew he is missing 2 important items in his rant:

1. The lazy, fat, stupid Americano Turtle hates the Gays and their so called "gay marriage"

2. The same Trailer Park Trash Turtles LOVE them The Rapture and Sarah Palin! Just saying her name gives me the Holy Ghost and sends me into Talking in Tounges

HAMMANAN KUHBANDU LATOMA LATOMA! SHEBUNDA MALEENA AKU PANATE!!!!

Anonymous said...

To the bitter loser aka anonymous at 5:04PM...

Guess what loser? You would be surprised that some of the "elitist" people here making 6 figures worked their ASSES off to do so. Worked dead end shit jobs like yours while we went to college. Which I paid for NOT mommy and Daddy. Didn't even get a credit card until age 25. If I couldn't afford it I didn't buy it. Was making under 30K a year until my early 30's went back to school for my Master's and now make 6 figures. Scrimped and saved the whole time. I still live in a small house and old car that is paid for. So fuck you and fuck your pity party. Lazy ass Walmart nobody that you are...

keyser soze said...

Andrew - it's like you never left!

btw - anyone here ever had turtle soup...it's f'ing horrible.

Frank@Scottsdale-Sucks.com said...

The American Dream is about a small percentage of winners getting huge options and bonuses, and a large percentage of losers ending up in the gutter; and being a winner or a loser is largely hereditary: some studies show that children of rich fathers are more likely to earn a lot than children of tall fathers are likely to be tall themselves.

Funny, my family isn't rich (far from it), I do not have a college education, and I'm not tall. And yet I worked my butt off and, perhaps shockingly to you, became one of the "evil rich" Obama wants to hurt so badly.

Sounds to me like you have nothing but excuses, and your excuses are your own, pal.

Anonymous said...

open border policy + praising I'm a victim culture + stupid socialism + union parasites + welfare queens + dumbing down of America through public schools rigged with union parasites from the Democratic party + high school dropout Hollywood celebs faking they know economics or finances + Marxist influence in education + drilling in the US and nuclear power is bad bogeyman created by crooked Democrats and dumb ultraliberals like Huffington

= the America you idiots asked for.

Annopussy said...

All it's missing is a "Dubya Shrub & Penis Shooter"