April 26, 2008

Do you watch housing porn? Do your friends and family use housing porn? Does it make you feel dirty?

By the way, on this house, I'd pay $120,000. Tops.

Now I need to go take a shower.

56 comments:

Anonymous said...

People watched those shows and then they got f***ed

mr banker wants you said...

Bend over and meet crooked realtor.these guys are so full of shit is unreal.How do they stay in business?I guess the sheeple never learn.

So now we have moved from a bubble in housing to a bubble in commodities.I missed the boat on that one for sure.So when does the money move back to stocks?

el dudelero said...

i actually enjoy seeing great homes am generally enthusiastic about interior design. 850k for that crapbox on a busy street...lol. istn adams a ghetto in LA?

Gabor said...

$800,000 HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Anonymous said...

Oui, I do watch those shows because my girlfriend and I like to engage in debauchery for cheap entertainment.

oneangryslav said...

Did any of these "winners" ever see the money? In other words, did they cash out?

I'd love to see a similar show wherein they take a 50-year old guy, who is overweight, balding, dresses like a slob, then "fix him up"--hair plugs, a month or two in the gym, some more stylish clothes--then get him in a room and have a life coach set him down and say..."well, after all the hard work, you would be able to date...wait for it...a Heather Lockyear. But get your drinking problem under control and you'll be worthy of a Jenna Jameson."

Anonymous said...

I'd pay at most $75k for that place

ROM said...

I don't watch it. I guess in my case ignorance is bliss. I'm happy in my little apartment on a busy street that takes less than 10% of my income. I have nice furniture, great parking, a big silly TV and great neighbors who don't hassle me. In the last 7 years I've spent zero time and money on any household projects.

If I watched this crap, I'd be worried about my non-existent molding, street noise (just from cars - thank god there's no children in my neighborhood), and the old appliances in the kitchen that I hardly ever use.

Anonymous said...

Thank goodness I had some clothes on when the agent walked in.

Ford said...

I just watched this clip, I am vomiting violently while throwing pots and pans, screaming between spurts of projectile vomit, not even taking time to wipe my mouth off as I break something else. Good thing I dont have pets or I'd be torturing them just to make something pay for having to be a bitter renter for the last 5 years.

This is how this whole bullshit real estate epic makes me react.

MarkMetin said...

So they’re going to plunk down ANOTHER $75K on the garage and backyard because the realtor gives an upbeat list price? Maybe a quick survey of some of your links showing the difference between original listing price and actual selling price might be prudent.

And yes, I occasionally peruse the housing porn shows if there’s no good Seinfeld re-runs on and feel the need for some black humor. Jut last night there was a couple looking for a place in Maui with a “firm” $1,000,000 budget. The first house? 900K. OK. The second and third? 1.15M and 1.3M. This ain’t advanced calculus here, and exposing yourself to another 150,000 to 300,000 of debt is just what the drooling realtor was pushing. Sick indeed.

Andrew said...

when my wife gave birth to our last son she was stuck in the hospital for 5 days. we did a fair bit of tv watching but the TV in Ireland is terrible- Housing Porn on almost every channel, all day long.

the poor people in these shows all fancied themselves geniuses for using a bank's money to make a quick £100,000. now they are all f***ed.

Anonymous said...

.



I feel so dirty!



.

keith said...

I don't watch housing porn, except for these youtube clips, but that moment of drama at the end as the price is announced

wait for it

wait for it

wait for it

wait for it

Isn't that just so nice?

On this episode, I thought the realtwhore was going to give them a real price, not a HGTV-only price

"And I estimate your home is worth....... $200,000"

Oh, now THAT would have been entertainment!

LibVet said...

That street would kill your dog the first time he made it out the front door.

For 7/8 of a Million dollars, yeah, buyers might expect a garage.

Thanks Keith, that was hilarious.

Andrew from Russia said...

Moreover, we are being fed with SECOND-HAND housing porn! That's how the "content" is distributed today: first it's aired in the West, then it hits pay-TV channels in EE/A. Hopefully I don't have any subscription these days, so I'm clean!

Anonymous said...

For every drop of euphoria those people felt at the time their house was worth 900K there is twice as much agony being felt by whoever owns that house today.

Anonymous said...

These shows gave America housing AIDS

Paul E. Math said...

Location, location, location, huh? Boy, it's like you stepped back in time watching that - you feel like you're in a Clark Gable movie or something.

...Except the roaring traffic.

So ridiculous: people thinking that they can get paid for remodelling their own house.

And they just accept what the realtor/appraiser says as the unvarnished truth - how dumb do you have to be?

a.creampuff said...

Traditionally, you fix up a place, you get virtually nothing back. I remember a Baltimore Sun article saying about the only home improvement that would come back in terms of sale price was replacement storm windows.

I mean - so they sanded the floors or fixed the shingles or whatever. Aren't those things that houses normally come with?

a.creampuff said...

And no, I don't watch these shows. I'm on the phone as I write, discontinuing Comcast because I barely watch the Idiot Box any more.

Anonymous said...

no happy endings for these pornos

tater said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said...

WHAT? I COULDN'T HEAR WHAT KENDRA HAD TO SAY OVER THAT STREET NOISE? WHAT DO YOU MEAN IM YELLING?

Owner Earnings said...

$120,000 for that house seems fair. 4 lane highway in your front yard? Terrible. No garage? Terrible. All those upgrades they did, who the hell cares.

makes no sense said...

Am I only person in the world who thinks that if you spent $X on the house then the price would increase by something less than $X.

Maybe if it was something that takes a long time is might increase the value by more than $X to some buyer in a rush.

And obviously, if you managed to do it cheaper than normal (you did the work instead of paying someone else) then you could make a profit - but that's just compensation for your work...

AZDavidPhx said...

SURE MAN

Maybe 850K in monopoly cash!

Anonymous said...

that realtor was a Faaaaaaag

Tyrone said...

As a result of my investigatory skills, and largely due to Google's streetview maps, here is their home:
2810 S. Normandie Ave, Los Angeles, CA
4 beds, 2.5 baths, 2,502 sq ft
Zestimate®: $554,000
Sale History
04/05/2005: $385,003
Zillow Link

Here's a recent comp:
2706 S Normandie Ave Los Angeles CA 90007 5 bed, 2 bath, 2,372 sqft
Sold
02/28/2008: $350,000
ZESTIMATE®: $564,000

Enjoy!

Anonymous said...

no! no cable at all. waste of $ and time.

go netflix and youtube!

Anonymous said...

I think I got a STD by watching that!

mairca izda debol said...

A $6,000 bathroom upgrade is worth $50,000? BWAHAHAHAHA

Where did the extra $44,000 come from? Thin air?

bubble in housing to a bubble in commodities.


You forgot about the bigger bubble in paper currencies. When that one pops, commodities will really fly. Would you rather have food and fuel or pieces of paper with dead men's faces printed on them?

Anonymous said...

I thought the house was pretty nice... wouldn't buy it, but liked their upgrades. Kitchen was better than most renovations I'd seen. Oh yeah, I watch those shows all the time.

Anonymous said...

Man oh man.

Having grown up in L.A. I know that area.

Not only is it on an arterial but it's not a very good neighborhood after dark.

So it looks like they'll have 300k or so into all the remodeling after purchasing the home for 350k.

Did they HELOC all the funds?

Probably the only Viking stove in the neighborhood.

Worth 250k max even with all the upgrades IMO.

Anonymous said...

Looks like the owner is a "Hollywood Type"

http://www.imdb.com/name/nm1025370/

It even lists the credit for this "Flip this House" episode.

Big Cheese said...

Most of these are non-value added improvements. Not functional, just esthetic, what a huge waste of money. The US economy has been driven by these non-value added activities for how many years exactly? Get ready for a long painful crash. Ouch. Ouch.

But what the heck, I'll try and pick one of these up at pennies on the dollar. Hopefully I can protect my assets until then.

-BC

Anonymous said...

Looks like the owner is a "Hollywood Type"

He sure looked like stupid uneducated trash.

Anonymous said...

A home in a location like that, any improvements you made, you'd struggle to get that money back if you sold it. Hardly worth the effort unless you wanted to live there. Especially if it's in an area with shittier houses around it, you'd be overcapitalising your home and basically flushing money down the toilet.

I love how the guy just arbitrarily makes up a value for the house after making certain improvements. "Sure, right now it's worth 600, but if you were to mow the lawn, replace that broken window, and buy a statue of a flamingo for the front yard, you'd be able to sell for at least 750!"

Stuck in So Pa said...

If you walk into a store first thing in the a.m. and the floors are swept clean, buffed and shiny, that's a positive image, right?

WRONG!

It's a neutral image, sales floors are SUPPOSED to be clean and shiny. There's a negative impression if the floors are dirty, scuffed, and full of trash, but there's no positive image if the floors are the way they are should be anyway!

Same thing applies to homes. Countertops (granite or Formica) are countertops, floors (hardwood or linoleum) are floors, fridges (Viking or Kenmore) are fridges. The House is supposed to have those things. That's a big neutral, no added value in my book!

Chris said...

I stopped the video as soon as I realized it was another one of Kendra Todd's BS home price valuation shows. If you want to watch BS, watch Kendra Todd.

And to claim that the terms "realtor" and "real estate expert" are synonymous is also a load of BS.

Paul E. Math said...

Nice work, Tyrone. You just knew that douche-bag was pulling his figures out of nowhere - the zestimate kinda proves that.

I noticed that the 30-day price change on this house on zillow was -$16,000.

Not that I believe zestimates are 100% accurate. But they're a lot more accurate than that loser realtor gave.

Anonymous said...

How recent is this show? Is the house on the market now? What's the asking price?

Imagine having to pull in and out of the driveway on that busy road. Are you kidding me? Or having guests over and finding a place for them to park?

Anonymous said...

$900k to live on Normandie, South of Adams and West of Hoover? Are you kidding me?

Nation, anyone familiar with LA knows that the location is TERRIBLE!!! All you hear late at night is the LAPD helicopter flying over in circles, with spot lights, or sirens rushing by.

Hey, but let's concentrated on the positives: You're a walking distance from Alvarado St., in case you need to buy counterfeit Driver's Licenses, Social Security Cards, or Green Cards. For narcotics, just drop by Vernon. Don't forget that this area has historic value since it was ground zero for the LA Riots. And did I mention the precious diversity that Hollywood types like Bill Maher loves so much (from far away)? W. Washington Blvd. is a corridor of Mexican gangs.

Little Johnny better learn some Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu before he goes for a bike ride around the hood.

Anonymous said...

Don't fell surprised if the notoriously violent 18th Street Gang drops by ever month to collect HOA. After all, they'll be your neighbor.

Tobby said...

Notice that the crack-head REALTOR never said what it was worth. He said what he would list it for. He could list it for $ten million, that does not mean it is worth ten million $. An important legal distiction often overlooked by the sheeple.

Arizona Jake said...

Now I know why you call it housing porn. Because Realtors take turns pulling numbers out of their ass.

Vanilla Ice said...

I love the sound effects: "dweeeeewwwww!" They should come back in a year, they'll need a flushing toilet noise.

Anonymous said...

oneangryslav said...
Did any of these "winners" ever see the money? In other words, did they cash out?

I'd love to see a similar show wherein they take a 50-year old guy, who is overweight, balding, dresses like a slob, then "fix him up"--hair plugs, a month or two in the gym, some more stylish clothes--then get him in a room and have a life coach set him down and say..."well, after all the hard work, you would be able to date...wait for it...a Heather Lockyear. But get your drinking problem under control and you'll be worthy of a Jenna Jameson."

April 26, 2008 7:26 PM

-------------------------------
They already have that show its called EXTREME MAKEOVER.

too funny said...

HP makes me laugh! You guys are FUNNY! (serious comedic talent here)

Anonymous said...

screw the house.

i want to screw the hot chicks in the video.. mmmm good.

Medo in Mesa AZ said...

Kitchen applience upgrades such as high end VIKING name brand are being sold on Craigs list for 25-30percent of their Retail price. Funny thing, in the "OLD" days CEO's might have this equipment for live in chefs and company meetings. And in the Bubble any avg Joe Six pack just deems it a necessity of home value??? C'mon people! We all know it ain't so now.
Medo

ps: Luv housing porn!

Anonymous said...

"i want to screw the hot chicks in the video.. mmmm good."

For me, IQ does count for something. And Kendra Todd is about as dumb as they come.

Anonymous said...

Watching the new "master bathroom" will get you constipated.

Anonymous said...

Wow you guys really know how to track a brother down! That guy is such a tool. Best part is? He had to submit that credit to get it on his IMDB profile, no way it got on there automatically.

Does that add another 10k in value?!

I don't understand why 6k of bathroom adds 50 k of value, I thought it'd add 6k of value, or more likely 3.

That neighborhood is not a good place for a whiteboy to be afterdark. Don't leave the house. Bet the Lexus has been stolen once or twice as well.

I have a friend that lives in a historic district in the hood, lemme tell ya the 'established' owners aren't very thrilled about the newcomers!!! Try getting *them* to agree to anything you want to do! fat chance!

Curbside drug service, is however, nice.

johnny1290 said...

I also forgot to mention my friend paid 220k back in '97 or so for his house that's bigger than that one in a better area....so around 300 sounds about right. One of his neighbors paid around 800k-tools-and 'upgraded' and now want 1.5 for it. The open houses have been slow, even now they've knocked it down to 1.3.

I don't think it pays to have the nicest house in the neighborhood, when the worst ones are *really* bad.

Anonymous said...

Kitchen applience upgrades such as high end VIKING name brand are being sold on Craigs list for 25-30percent of their Retail price.

The high end stuff is Bosh or Sub-zero.