Go ahead, write your own jokes here...
I did notice this afternoon session looked pretty good:
3pm: "How to f*ck America and make 6% doing it"
March 14, 2008
Can you feel the excitement building? Only five more days until the 2008 Realtor Rally!!!!!!!
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1pm - Stripping, Bartending and Pimping: Making the Transition
5pm - Living with Parents can be Fab at 40!
9pm - Kool-Aid Suicide Wrap Party
Sweet Justice if despite all the pain of the RE boom/bust the realtor profession and monopoly is no more.
The sweetness being that their own greed did them in both on the macro level as well as the one's that were destroyed on the micro level by speculating.
I remember in the movie Robo Cop a home that was being sold by a motion activated computer that would fire up and spew the same RE cheerleader crap one must endure at an open house. So b/t the internet, the Robo cop recording and a lawyer/title company to perform the formal acts in regard to the paperwork what the hell do we need them for except to lie and jack up the price another 6%?
Good afternoon ladies and gentlemen. I’d like to welcome you to the 2008 Realtor Rally. In spite of the gloom and doom falsely portrayed in the mainstream media, I believe we are on the road to a rapid recovery and an economic windfall unlike anything we have witnessed before. Our strategy implemented some 6 years ago has been a complete success. We have been able to target a here-to-for unreachable sales population and guarantee an asset turn over rate that places the same real estate back on the market multiple times that we can sell again for additional multiple commissions.
Bob Shlicken….would you stand please. Ladies and gentlemen, Bob typifies our success and is a genuine rag to riches story. Bob left Jiffy Lube in 2003 and began his new career selling houses down in Pomona. Bob was able put hundreds of clients with zero or negative net worth into homes they could be proud of. When these homes hit the market again, Bob was there to get the job done. From the Wal-Mart cashier to the Valley Farms lettuce harvester, Bob was known as the enabler who could break through barriers to entry and provide our clients with a lifestyle that was the envy of their peers. Bob credits his extraordinary success to his years in the trenches and ability to lube up prospective owners, appraisers and bankers. Well done Bob!
Sticks
I thought only cheerleaders held rallys? Oh yeh that's right they are realtors ;)
10:00 am - Dealing with depression in the workplace
11:30 am - proper resume writing skills
7:00 pm - pass the hat for the key note speakers bus fair
I suppose you would blame car salesman for car accidents...
I suppose you would blame stockbrokers for the stock going down...
I suppose you would blame your banker for interest rates going down...
Please, you people are getting carried away!
Just like rally racing. There will be lots of crashes and it's possible, however unlikely, that bystanders stupid enough to stand by the roadside will get injured.
Step away from the edge.
8:45 am (postponed to 9:55am)
Early risin' and juicing that Sweeeet wheatgrass. making millions by lunch with some sweet arbitrage and apartment selling deals.
BC
8:00 How to convince your spouse to work while you sit at home. Tips to convincing them that you don't need another job because the market will pick up this spring.
9:00 Raman Noodles; New Receipies the kids will love.
On the schedule:
Raffle to sell the NoVa home of NAR president Thomas Stevens.
Purchase price (2001): $1.3 million.
Assessed value (2005): $2.6 million.
Original asking price (2006): $1.95 million.
Reduced asking price (2006): $1.45 million.
Really reduced, current price (2008): $1.2 million.
The kicker: Redfin says that the original price is $1,285,000.
2 PM - How to avoid split ends after copying Geico Caveman Adkins' hairdo. Guest speaker: Tom Adkins.
die die die
To anon 4:40:
I'm blaming anon 4:40 by attempting to make analogous statements that are not analogous statements.
Sorry, but before I buy $3,000 of company stock from a stockbroker, I can look up SEC filings and news reports about the company all I want. And I can't borrow 100% on margin to buy it either. Most of all, buying $3,000 of stock won't cause me to file bankruptcy if it doesn't work out.
A more analogous term would be to blame the crack dealer for dealing crack. And I blame anyone who peddles something but lies incessantly about how it's such a good deal. Snake in the grass.
As a lender (I am still a loan officer for the last 19 yrs beleive it or not) My favorite line that I find funny in this market is when Raltor's tell buyers this: "There are five others waiting to put their offers in hurry get your approval". I have to tell my borrower to clam down and that there really are nop other buyers.
West Palm Beach, FL
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