January 15, 2008

There's something about this RE/MAX training video that will make you feel dirty for even watching it



"The more you learn, the more you earn!"

"Are you ready to make money today? Are you connected to your future?"

'RE/MAX University connects you to some of the biggest ideas in the business - 24 7"

Is "money money money" all realtors are concerned about? Not one word in this video about satisfying the customer or contributing to society. But hey, not a surprise - it is a realtor training video of course, not a real profession.

Seriously, this video (and the actors pretending to care reading their prepared RE/MAX lines) made me want to hurl.

I think it was projection - the nightmare of actually being a REALTOR sitting in a RE/MAX training class, realizing that I was a failure in life that now had to go out and sell used houses for a living.

AAAAAAAAUUUUUUGGGGGGGGHHHHH!!!!! SHOOOOOT MEEEEEE!!!

Here are some of today's lessons at RE/MAX University:

1) How to f*ck your client for the highest possible commission

2) How to hide kickbacks from builders and lenders from your client and the IRS

3) Why the NAR's ethics guidelines don't include us

4) How to break it to your kids and family that you're going to be a REALTOR

5) REALTOR makeup, hair and clothing - it's style, not substance, that will make you a success!

6) Our favorite ramen recipes for the tough times

16 comments:

Frank@Scottsdale-Sucks.com said...

No wonder RE/MAX just shuttered 13 offices in Phoenix and canned 350+ realtors.

Even before the bubble burst, they were the clown-act of the industry with their stupid big balloons painted on the sides of H2s all over Scottsdale.

Anonymous said...

what in the world do you expect them to do? put out a traing video saying "you are the dumbest people on the plnet and have no hope of making a dime in realestate"? good lord its evident you have not spent ANY time in sales- its ALL about attitude-period! i dont care if its futile as a business leader you MUST put out a positive message to your sale force or you are surely dead- this is a STUPID thread because its BASIC business practice regardless of industry!

Anonymous said...

Do you know if I can transfer my credits from Amway U.?

Anonymous said...

FRANK- you know ZERO about realestate marketing! go try and sell some homes before you open your piehole! you claim to be some kind of writer but one i've never heard of - am i'm pretty damn well read- you are just some failed 30k mil. douch that found the cali transplants in scottsdale more superficial than you are and went running back to where?

your opinion is based on nothing but hot air and no experience.

Anonymous said...

I have trouble with the X-Box Dance Revolution Universe music.

Tangelo Mozilo said...

I thought real estate sales was supoposed to be a PROFESSION. I.e., a career involving a specialized knowledge base, a code of ethics, education and examination requirements, and is geared toward serving the public.

All professions that care about their reputation put a strong emphasis on ethics: law, medicine, mental health, accounting, engineering . . .

The complete lack in this video of anything resembling ethics or public service is quite illustrative of why the real estate "profession" is so maligned.

If RE ever wants to be taken seriously again, they need to beef up their entry requirements, establish an effective accountability board, and put some emphasis on public service. They have successfully made themselves into a sick joke.

MrBill said...

LOL this didn't even look like a training video, it looked like an advertisement for training videos. As if the agents had to pay for their corporate training...

Maybe I shouldn't laugh, maybe that's how it really is. Maybe the industry is so heinous that Remax would charge it's own agents for training?

Anonymous said...

I think I´ll show this video to they guy down here in Mexico trying to sling condos. He´s been looking pretty bored sitting in his stall all alone.

He still says the same thing however...¨Real Estate Never Goes Down¨

Malcolm said...

Many years ago, I got a call from someone asking me if I would be interested in a management job in the financial industry.

I said sure, and told them the experience I had. The guy started hemming and hawing, and then said that “you probably wouldn’t be interested in this.”

I thought to myself “hey, I’m just as good as anyone”, so I went to the meeting to see what it was all about.

(I’m being kind today, so I won’t mention the name of the place)

So I go there, and it wound up being a pyramid scheme in the “financial” industry. Sure, you could be “management”, as long as you could keep talking a growing number of people into coming in to “work” for the place.

The kicker was that they wanted the attendees to write them a check for their “training”. When I said that I would have to think about it, they tried the hard sell, at which point I told them that there was something fishy about a job that asked the employees to pay for their own training; in advance no less.

I guess the guy on the phone was right, I wouldn’t be interested.

Anonymous said...

This video wasted 3 minutes of my life.

As a career salesperson, I have encountered some of the most grossly incompetent individuals posing as 'trainers' and "teachers' usually around this time of year as sales meetings kick off, etc.

This 3 minutes was unique though. It taught me nothing, said nothing and was 0 help to me in any way.

Let me just state the obvious for any newcomers to HP:

F*ck ALL Realtors,and the REIC. You are crooked and felonious and provide NO VALUE. CAlling you a whore is a disservice to Whores.

A working Whore provides a service and adds value to that service.

6%ers ARE DEAD. You will be hunted like animals by your bankrupt clients. Make sure you have a full tank of gas to get out of town on.

Anonymous said...

Am I the only one who feels an uncontrollable urge to punch that actor in the mouth when he speaks?

Anonymous said...

Do you know if I can transfer my credits from Amway U.?

ROTFLMAO!

Man, it's good to be back on HP.

Anonymous said...

Dear Remax U. Dean:

Will that online class on the internets interfere in any way with my "Real Housewives of Orange County" TV schedule?

Sincerely yours,

DOPES

John said...

I feel like throwing up.

Anonymous said...

RU fu"*ing kidding. Now I'm going to have to listen to realtwhores boast "I'm just like a doctor, lawyer, or an engineer. After all, I graduated from RU!" Can't we just have a realtor open season like they have for hunting deer and wild pigs?

Hoss said...

The building is brand new, there’s also a new Paradise bakery across the parking lot from the building. The Bakery anticipated that the business from Remax would be a “bonanza” and built it with a capacity to hold 300 patrons, the most I’ve ever seen in there is 4 counting me, and I go there for breakfast and lunch.