Buying stocks? Shorting stocks? Or happy on the sidelines?

* Fed slashing rates down to 0% in a desperate attempt to create a new bubble somewhere, anywhere

* Congress and Bush dropping hundreds of billions of election-year dollars from helicopters (although they can take their lousy $300 and stick it - that don't buy much these days)

* Government spending taxpayer money on banks and insurers too big to fail - including a potential multi-billion dollar nationalization/bailout of MBIA and Ambac - plus the upcoming massive and historic bailouts of Fannie and Freddie

* Fannie jumbo limits going up (since we're run by corrupt monkeys)

* Stock prices down drastically, including juicy ones like Apple, Google and foreign ETFs

* Credit meltdown still just starting, with lots of writedowns and bad news still to come

So, is a stock market recovery starting, or will it just be a brief sucker's rally, followed by an even deeper crash?

My only advice, worth nothing, is to keep an open mind, be patient, and be very, very careful. This market feels like gambling, not investing. DOPES got slaughtered these past few weeks, don't be a DOPES.

(by the way, anyone see the hilarious Societe Generale trader who just lost 'em $7.2 billion secretly making terrible bets on the market - ouch! Wonder how his performance appraisal goes this year)