October 25, 2008

Here's a picture of a granite countertop. You know, the crack cocaine of the housing binge. Granite countertops that blew up the financial system.

We destroyed the world economy for these?

Man, how stupid was that?


Mammoth said...

Eating popcorn is fun for HP’ers

But, watching an ex-realtor downing a bowl of Ramen while swallowing her pride and washing it down with a glass of Kool-Aid, all on the GRANITE countertop of the home which she bought on speculation and can’t sell – that's priceless!


Anonymous said...

You forgot the faux stainless steel appliques....

Anonymous said...

When you think 'stupid' remember to link it to 'Bush'.

George W. Bushco = WORST EVER


Anonymous said...

I am renting a house with 124,568.21 dollars worth of them in it for 1800 a month, I found the bill in a drawer. Even the bathrooms and laundry room have them. Its a 4500 sqft rancher with a city and mountain view in Colorado Springs. They paid 700k in couldn't sale for 495k. Morons because they aren't that pretty and function no better than formica.


Anonymous said...

Gotta love the granite on top of cheap wood too.

Mark in San Diego said...

And the sad things is, the are SO out of date - all the kitchen stores now show frosted Italian Glass tops, or brush aluminum. . .so folks, when you finally do make a bid on a house or condo in a few years - ask for a 10% off to remodel the kitchen to get rid of that tacky granite countertop. . .

Anonymous said...

Well Some were radioactive anyway.

Anonymous said...

So true Keith. If people weren't trying to buy a house with granite they were taking out an equity loan to get them.

People expect to get granite countertops on even the cheapest houses now.

Anonymous said...

Every $1000 "invested" on granite countertops over the past five years will cost the world $5000 in economic calamity. Who would have thought a finished rock could be so dangerous?

Anonymous said...

Mortgage is a good method to pay for something we cannot afford by installment.

Anonymous said...

But if I put in an $8000 granite countertop, the value of my house will increase by 50K! I saw it on My House Is Worth What?!

Jersey Girl

Anonymous said...

When I watch those TV home shows the
home lookers expect granite .Is this evidence of brainwashing or what ?
I look at granite these days and I feel that the buyer is going to pay three times the cost for those stupid counter tops .

America use to be a place where you had variety . Now all you have is brainwashed people dancing to the tune of the mainstream media that is funded by the advertising Wall Street Corporations .

Nobody is looking at how Corporations gained by the fake housing boom . Did the Corporations over all raise income during the housing boom ?
This was the biggest rip off in
history . Supply cheap credit to buy everything so the stock market and housing market could go up ,yet take away wages and health benefits from the working stiff .

When will the talking heads talk about how Corporations sold out America .

Paul E. Math said...

A thought occured to me a while back: granite countertops are a fad.

Granite countertops, like pet rocks and disco, will go out of style.

In a few years time, having a granite countertop will mean that your kitchen needs updating.

Granite countertops will lose people a lot of home sales in a few years.

Granite countertops will be like fake wood-panelling and shag carpet.

Think of the people who 'invested' in their homes, taking out helocs to redo the kitchen. Sure, it might increase the appraised value of your home. But only for a few years. Give it 7-10 years and any appreciation in value that the kitchen remodel gave your home is completely lost: you're back at square one. Except now you owe an extra $30k.

Same thing with stainless steel.

But people paid for these kitchen remodels as though they would never ever need to remodel their kitchen again, as though granite countertops will ALWAYS be in style.

So stupid. Such a waste of money. While children in developing countries die for lack of simple antibiotics.

Anonymous said...

Hey, I've got granite! Waaaaay before it became the latest craze.

Psycho said...

“We destroyed the world economy for these?”

No, we destroyed the world economy trying to hyper inflate assets that baby boomers forgot to sell so they could eventually retire.

Anonymous said...

Nah, you don't want that to be the poster child for the housing excess. Get an aerial picture of a tracks of newly minted mcmansions (you know all house, no yard) with a few beemers or Mercedes in front of them, or even better yet a hummer.

Ross said...

haha people don't even cook that much any more. A bucket of KFC sure looks good sitting on that granite though.

Anonymous said...

Well in all fairness it was also the stainless steel appliances that they were ALWAYS paired with.

Now when I look at a "Granite/Stainless" kitchen I think to myself...that is SO 2005!

Anonymous said...

And their ever expanding array of drugs. Tray ceilings,crown molding, columns, balconets, Travertine, SS appliances, 3,000+ sq. ft, infinity pools, summer kitchens...

Oh yeah - water closets and powder rooms. Hell, these people couldn't even call it a damn bathroom or toilet anymore.

ApleAnee said...

This photo should be shown side by side with "Suzanne Researched It". The two photos together are the complete picture of the destruction of America. The women of America are responsible for this. Men couldn't care less about hickory floors, granite counters or travertine tile. It is a "woman thing". But, the men of America went along with it because they do whatever the woman tells them to do. Just like the Suzanne video. I know many women who did this, (while their husband's stood by docile, yup yup yup honey) yet their children (who are supposed to be Job #1) are in public schools or being taken care of by their grandmothers for free in order to afford the payments for this junk, the Soccer Mom SUV, the vacations to Cancun, Ireland, Cape Cod. The kids of America have become accessories to "complete the white picket fence picture" for many, many women. The kids are bribed with Nintendos, WII's and Ipods, to keep them quiet because Job #1 is to impress the world with their wealth (debt) and good taste (HGTV).

I would love to be able to say that my country really is the "Shining Beacon of Freedom on the Hill", I used to feel that way, but it just ain't so any longer. As the economy goes belly up, I have to wonder what these people are going to do. Sit on the front porch and cry?

I have been reading these sad, sad stories of the poor foreclosed people. The MSM asks them "What are you going to do now?" They say oh maybe live in our car, or go to the tent city, or the homeless shelter. These people have become so corrupted and retarded that the concept of moving down the street into a rental is not an option? I get crazy when I read the sob stories about all these poor foreclosed dummies. Go and rent a freakin apartment. The MSM also never brings that point up. We have become the world's biggest victims. It is embarrassing.

Until the men of America stand up and say NO to this bullshit, it a single dime left for anything valuable like saving for the kid's college, or retirement, or just plain living within one's means and having other activities (hobbies?? oh my god what a concept) in life besides consuming and impressing.

The greed monster has been let out and the only thing that will kill it is abject poverty. This is what will change the attitude, nothing else will do it.

Yes, the bankers are also to blame, but they couldn't have done it without the Women of America.

Too bad that all of the rest of us have to go down the tubes with these shallow, greedy, irrational women who have ruined our country with their idiocy and their husbands who are terrified to say NO to them.

And yes Nick my husband loves me to death, he despises "debt diggers" as much as I do.

Unknown said...

Don't forget get about crown molding, stainless appliances and spa tubs.

Lost Cause said...

It is radioactive. Just the kind of thing that I want to prepare food on.

But then again, Scotch Tape is an X-Ray source. Nothing mutates like X-Rays.

Anonymous said...

Worse yet, some of these granite countertops emit a remarkable amount of radiation. Just wait until enough of these get in to our landfills and achieve critical mass.

Anonymous said...


Anonymous said...

I would personally consider myself lucky to be able to afford a Granite Headstone when I die. Doubt that since all the supply of granite is tied up in McMansions now.
WOW what if they foreclosed on people's cemetary markers????

Anonymous said...

what destroyed the financial system was simple pure American greed and Arrogance.
That one word sums up America pretty good.
Damn PIGS!
Greed, Arrogance: the two pillars of American identity.
The identity to say that you have granite countertops. The identity to buy the unnecessary Hummer, the unnecessary gas guzzling F-250.
The arrogance of having said "my passport has stamps from all over the world: Europe, Australia, New Zealand, Japan, Brazil, you name it."
Make no mistake. This was about Greed, Arrogance, keeping up with the Jones, or if your in California or Texas, keeping up with the Putos.

Thanks a lot America. You Fu%ked up the world financial system.
You have no sense of Shame, no sense of morals, no sense of prudence.
If China wanted to, all they would have to do is dump all their dollars, stop lending us money, and this country, the grand old US of A would collapse in a nano-second. As it is right now, we are barely hanging on by a thread, millions of people afraid of their 401k's being completely depleted. Millions more afraid of losing their jobs.
Great Job America.
You set the world a good moral example of how to behave when rules are relaxed and now you want the world to bail you out. You Fu*ked up royally.
Good Job, Bastards!!!!

Anonymous said...

butt ugly cabinets but hey, there is a granite counter top!

Anonymous said...

funny how one item can, for a time, be "the thing to have". kind of like fake wood paneling back in the 70s.

Anonymous said...

And to think that in Brazil is common to use granite for flooring. Granite for them is like ceramic tile. Cheap as hell. Only here in the US granite is such a bfd.

Anonymous said...

That's a Casey Serin Bed!!!!

Anonymous said...

and like the tulip craze was any better????

Anonymous said...

I banged a realtor on granite once.No recession here in roseville ca.Went to the casino last night and it was packed.

Amanda said...

Well, I agree the wide-spread acceptance of over-the-top consumerism was the generator that had been hailed as "economic growth," and it was not growth at all, but a continual further indebtednes.

However, I have been trying to understand how our economic and political leaders were seeing "economic growth" when the US had given away its manufacturing base.

Anonymous said...

Grow up fool. You wish it was that simple.

Anonymous said...

--kind of like fake wood paneling back in the 70s

I still have a lot of that stuff. It definitely gives the ceramic wall, a nice fascade of being a Hollywood log cabin set.

Amanda said...

faux stainless steel appliques...
there has been such a love affair with faux...
it always sounded so much better than "imitation," or "fake"
Maybe we will be more enamored with values that reflect
people before possessions and
function before form...

Anonymous said...

When you think 'stupid' remember to link it to 'Bush'.

The same day in which the retards will link it to Barney Frank and his democratic party socialism that gains power by f•cking your mommy and daddy's paycheck with welfare taxes so Obama's base can buy $2k rims for their Escalades.

Anonymous said...

I am renting a house with 124,568.21 dollars worth of them in it for 1800 a month, I found the bill in a drawer. Even the bathrooms and laundry room have them.

I suggest you test all that granite for radon, a radioactive gas. Good luck with that cancer!


Anonymous said...

But if I put in an $8000 granite countertop, the value of my house will increase by 50K! I saw it on My House Is Worth What?!


Anonymous said...

how do realtors and mortgage brokers live with themselves?

Anonymous said...

That's why people refer to her as a post turtle:

"While suturing a cut on the hand of a 75-year old Texas rancher whose hand was caught in a gate while working cattle, the doctor struck up a conversation with the old man. Eventually the topic got around to Sarah Palin and her bid to be a heartbeat away from being President .

The old rancher said, "Well, ya know, Palin is a post turtle."

Not being familiar with the term, the doctor asked him what a post turtle was. The old rancher said, "When you"re driving down a country road and you come across a fence post with a turtle balanced on top, that"s a post turtle."

The old rancher saw a puzzled look on the doctor"s face, so he continued to explain. "You know she didn"t get up there by herself, she doesn"t belong up there, she doesn"t know what to do while she is up there, and you just wonder what kind of dumb *** put her up there to begin with."

Anonymous said...

Granite countertops have become exceedingly popular, but few realize the dapper slabs can be radioactive, the New York Times reports. Granite often contains uranium, and reports have been flowing in of “hot” counters giving off higher-than-recommended levels of radon gas. “It’s not that all granite is dangerous,” said one expert. “But I’ve seen a few that might heat up your Cheerios a little.”

Anonymous said...

Don't forget get about crown molding, stainless appliances and spa tubs.


crown molding has been around for centuries, it will always be an asset when done correctly and nicely

Anonymous said...


here's a hint, the granite was dug out of the ground to start with, and it didn't have critical mass then... Putting it back in the ground won't magically make it do so.

Of course anyone who lives in an area full of granite (still in the ground) knows all about radon and how great granite is to live on top of.

Anonymous said...

Go to Reno, NV and listen to polite party conversations. It all centers around granite counter tops, cabinet wood, appliance surfaces and tile. WTF! It's a house, you live in it. Unless you are filthy rich, your house is your home not castle. Clean, neat and serviceable and you should be happy.

Granite counter tops-$55,000
Stainless Appliances-$45,000
Mahagony Cabinets-$150,000

The cold white foreclosure notice in the trash-Priceless

Burn Nevada Burn!

Anonymous said...

when i see granite and stainless steal i expect to see viking/wolf and subzero appliances.

the fad was cheap granite and cheap kitchen aid appliances with stainless steal.

high-end kitchens will always be desirable...but they are for RICH PEOPLE!!!!!

40K a year wage earners do not "DESERVE" high-end shit.

Anonymous said...

I still get laughed at by friends and family for my butcher block countertops.

However, I can secretly laugh back since even though they're cheaper than granite, butcher block is way more useful.
Just try and use your nice knife on a granite counter. Can promise you that neither the knife nor counter will be nice for long.

Anonymous said...

Me and John are not fighting people we are just having loud discussions. I tell him the shorter the hem lines the higher the polls, but he won't listen. Dumb bastard, will he just get out of my way.

edd browne said...

Granite hides schmutz.

The end times will save us anyway.
Ask Sarah. (may she be delivered from witches)

Anonymous said...


"The best way to determine that granite is safe to use for countertops, Poterala said, is to scan it before installation in your kitchen using equipment like a Geiger counter or a gamma-ray spectrometer, an instrument for measuring the distribution of intensity of gamma radiation. Unfortunately, in the United States, most granite suppliers don't have the means or facilities for testing granite for radioactivity, and the EPA doesn't regulate granite for radon. At this moment, it's up to the consumer to arrange for their granite to be tested."

Anonymous said...

Georgia alone spends 1.6 billion on illegals.
With this fake consumption economy people are gonna start asking what to do with the 15 million illegals that came here during this fake economy the last 10 years.


Anonymous said...


Jane Z, what you wrote was outstanding. Maybe the best thing I have ever read. I ask, though, don't you think it comes back around to the guys? Or is it a circle?

Thanks again for the great writing.


Anonymous said...

So many of these "granite counter top" houses were built here right in HB. Ca - poorest workmenship I've ever seen!

Some of the recent residents who purchased these houses have told me of the continual problems they've had with insulation - thin/cracking walls - as well as poor quality throughout the house.

Intelligent people got suckered as well by their on speculative greed into putting a down-payment on these places, you really can't be too sorry for them.

Anonymous said...

Granite..... looks damn good with ramien.

Anonymous said...

I would venture a guess and say I am the worst interior decorator in the known universe...but I've always thought it was strange on those home improvement shows when they would spray paint crappy old cabinets in a dumpy little house and then install granite counter-tops. Only in America!

Anonymous said...

"You Fu*ked up royally.
Good Job, Bastards!!!!"

As an American I agree. Thanks.

Anonymous said...

keith- doing a great job on the blog again! I am hooked like a crack addict.

janez- you are so on point with your post. Women are emotional creatures and granite countertops, stainless appliances sold to the heart strings of this emotion. HGTV did thier job also.

the comment about granite being used as floors in brazil. it is unbelieveable how shit is marketed in the great usa. talking about flooring, how about cheap wood laminate flooring? what a joke wood laminate flooring is!

maybe the radiation in granite will be the turning point for granite going out of style.

I think it is funny how granite became standard and builders knew granite would sell so they put granite in every new home they built. builders pushed this in the model homes and women got hot and wet and wanted it badly for themselves! Another funny thing during this time was rental complexes going condo! Rental apartments were rental apartments then someone bought the complex put granite in some of the models with a $15,000 UPGRADE! There might be a total of 5 feet of kitchen space in a 2/2 kitchen apartment for the $15,000. Crazy!
SOme people thought they were smart to upgrade after the sale to save money. HOwever the difference between high end rich homes with real granite and condo conversions with cheap granite is the color, thickness and cut. Nice estate homes over 1 mill have 4" bullnose granite and condo conversions have 2" angle cut cheap shit. Nice homes with real wood cabinets, sub zeros with pull outs and tasteful color of granite is still desireable. (I personally like a tan granite with green vains running through it.)
I can make a similarity to cars!
Why does a chevy malibu have wood laminate trim?? Because it sells! The point is it doesn't matter how the quality is as long as it has the wood laminate on the dash people will buy it. I can equate the wood on the malibu to the granite in the condo conversion, to granite in a estate home to the rich red wood trim in the lex or the my real teak wood (no laminate here) in my bmw! The ignorant posers of the world live in the bling bling and mtv cribs lifestyle on a low level budget thinking they are the shit because they are in style!!!

rich in fl!

Anonymous said...

Our kitchen and bathrooms were outdated.

My wife and I gutted the kitchen and remodeled it with our own labor.

We looked at every kind of counter top there is and decided on granite tile.

This kitchen is very large, the island alone is 28 sq feet.

We compared pricing on granite tile to all the other mediums and found that granite, the way we did it, was comprable in price to other options.

The original cabinets were hard wood and so we stripped and refinished the cabinet and manufactured new facings out of solid wood pannels.

The project took 4 months to complete nights and weekends.

We had brought in 4 contractors to give us estimates. The average cost was 45K. We did it ourselves, top to bottom, everything new for 11K.

So far, it has been a joy to walk into the kitchen and continues to be the focal point of the house.

Granite is durable, easy to take care of and if I had to do it over again, I don't know if I would change anything.

We paid off our mortgage and did not borrow any money to do the remodel.

Anonymous said...

tiled mine for 40 bucks max.............

Anonymous said...

those look funny!

Anonymous said...

OK and explain to me the allure of stainless steel appliances-I think they are ugly-especially when put in a "country" kitchen. COUNTRY KITCHENS DO NOT HAVE STAINLESS STEEL APPLIANCES. These appliances look pretty stupid with country oak cabinets if you ask me.

Anonymous said...

There's a new (I think) housing porn show on HGTV called Property Virgins. I've never seen this one before.

Anyone who does even a moderate amount of cooking knows that granite can be a difficult surface for preparing food. Knives will scratch it. You have to be really careful putting plates and glasses down on it since they will crack or break if you do it too hard.

Anyone who's a serious, fast, and aggressive cook knows that granite is the WORST material for preparation.

Yes, I agree. It was a mid 2000 fad and will go away just like all fads before it. It's also a liability since anyone looking to buy a house with granite counter tops will know that it's a "bubble" house and may do some extra due diligence on it! Or worse, walk away from it so as not to be involved with a piece of property that has such awful symbolism of the excesses of the housing market during that period of time.

Anonymous said...

Did you know that Connie De Groot was the pioneer of granite countertops?

It only makes sense. Have you ever tried snorting a line off of tile?

Anonymous said...

To me the run on granite was a sign of personal arrogance. Granite used to be reserved for monuments and government buildings. We have gutted the earth, because "we deserved it". Why did we deserve any of the junk we've overindulged in? Because we went along with the cultural belief system? We aligned with the Right-think?
The Right way, the Right cult?

We deserved it because we were willing to go into a lifetime of indebtedness, and we HELPED those in the top 1-5 percent maintain their standard of living.

How many who bought a house realize you will pay 3 times the selling/buying price?
How many of you who sold a house realize the buyer will eventually pay 3 times the price you collected, and you will only collect the price MINUS the price paid to the realtor..

That's why you deserved those grandiose counters.
Because you agreed to--
let someone else, who didn't even know you, decide what was BEST for you?

Anonymous said...

Granite countertops are the 2005 version of the 1975 avocado green refrigerator.

Anonymous said...

"Anonymous said...
Our kitchen and bathrooms were outdated."

YUPPIE: What, the stove no longer worked and the shit-turds no longer went down the hole? You needed fancier toilets for the turds to go down? Only $11K huh?

YOU are symptomatic of The Problem driving America Bankrupt.

YOU are not a hero or 'smart'. just areogant and selfish.

Think about it.