April 08, 2008

Pretend you're a realtor or screwed homedebtor who blames HousingPANIC and HP'ers for your fate. Unload on us with both barrels

Remember - you're a realtor. You're an upside-down housing gambler. Or a toxic loan holder. You're Kendra Todd. You're Nicholas Retsinas. You're Greg Swann. You're Connie De Groot. You're Mike Norman. You screwed the pooch. You're discredited and destroyed. You took a gamble and lost it all. And of course, HP is the cause of your misery.

So let us have it. Unload. Blame the messenger. Kneecap us. Tase us bro. And have fun doing it.


Anonymous said...

It is what is it, we lost 100% of our life savings although it was her idea to buy the house in the first place, she told us we were going to get rich. We're gonna be foreclosed on and left with nothing. My only mistake was that I didn't sell my home sooner, at the top of the market because now we're f***ed.

John said...

It is what it is. Misinformed greedy idiots trying to get rich quick when all they were doing was transfering they're savings to the 'elites' (ha). You all got screwed royally on a rigged game. Greed is not good. Get over it.

Anonymous said...



Chris said...

I thought that real estate only went up and up and up. At the worst case scenario I figured it would stay flat or go up with inflation. I never imagined the value of my condo would actually go down.

All I wanted to do was buy a condo and sell it for a profit in a few years.

And I would have gotten away with it, if it wasn't for you meddling kids! ...

Anonymous said...

You were all wrong and very foolish, housing prices haven't fallen in Phoenix!

Anonymous said...

I am veteran realtor. I have been selling for 3.5 years. Well I actually have not sold a thing in the past 1.5 years but anyways. I sold a couple a houses to my family and friends. I actually purchaseed more homes for myself than I sold to others. I was planning on reselling my inventory at even more inflated prices to the ya dummies -I mean customers..

Anonymous said...

You f*cking stupid loosers who never got rich like me (in "fake" terms of course).

Yeah, you got it, I got rich, bought a house for 100k and now it's worth a million. It's been seating on the market for 5 years now, but I'm rich (in my own mind). I will sell it someday.


This is fun. You should do this more ofter Keith,


Noodles said...

Ohhhh, you make me so mad with your know-it-alledness. Just needed one more idiot dumber than me, just one more greater fool to sell to. But nooooooooo, you hafta go and tell everybody it's a bubble. It's all a house of cards says you. Well why the hell couldn't you wait just one more freekin year?!? I would have so sold my Miami spec condo. Dude, I would've made so much. I could've been a contender. But now I'm just a bum. Oh yeah. One more thing... you want that I should super size your order, sir?

Marky Mark said...

Hey - it is a great time to buy!





Frank said...

It was all so simple. Get a toxic loan, flip the house in 2 months at 25% profit. Housing was the next Qualcomm, Pets.com, or any of the numerous IPO's of the late 90's. Lies are profits and bubble tuths are devistating to the misdirection I needed to keep making money. I gambled my life savings and lost.

I'm broke, and you guys suck!


CaliforniaHereIgo said...

Here you go again - Prices are correcting a bit now, and you disgruntled renters (losers) get all hysterical. In the 2nd half, price appreciation will return to normal - thanks to the wise actions of a responsible ADULT like Mr, Bernanke.

By the end of the year, prices will have recovered what has been temporarily lost.

All things considered, now is an excellent time to buy!!! To all you disgruntled renters - this will be your 2nd chance - don't blow it. Interest rates are low by historical standards, inflation is booming, and there is a HUGE pent up demand. Buy NOW!

AZDavidPhx said...

The liberal media strikes again!

Anonymous said...

I thought that Hillary and Bill Clinton were to blame for everything, from bad weather to Adkins's ridiculous hairdo. Now it's HP?

Have a Nice Bankrupt Day Jerkoffs said...

Wrong paradigm.

The first rule of being a crook is not to get greedy.

You want the goose to keep laying those golden eggs to steal and re-sell to the dumbest sheeple.

Losers, you violated the First Rule. Now you are reaping the whirlwind. Fu*k YOU. DIE U PIG.

Lucky Market Sale; Ramen 10/$1. Pretend its New York Steaks...

PS: You might want to consider a Real Job. You may like actually earning a living for a change instead of Fu*king everone you can see.

Do Not despair, Dumb, stupid George and his cast-of-criminals crew are dreaming of ways to screw over the steaming shit heap that is whats left of once prosperous America to reward you losers for your criminal behavior. Its only a matter of time before you get more for nothing at taxpayer expense. Call you Senators and Congresssheeple. Scream that you are a victim, they LIKE victims...

I hope you all get cancer of the eyes. Exterminate the REIC.

Carpe Diem.

Anonymous said...

Housing is a great investment! Just look how much it's increased over the years! Who cares about inflation, the numbers are going up, up, up! You should buy now while interest rates are still low. Don't have a down payment? I didn't either, no big deal, the bank will cover you for a *small* increase in your interest rate. Besides, who cares about interest, since the price will just go up! Cr@p, multiple foreclosures in MY neighborhood, oh no! What, I can't afford to buy everything on credit? You gotta be kidding me!

Well, no big deal, housing is a LONG-TERM investment, I'll just sit it out. Look at the fed, lowering interest rates just for me, so I can pay my exploding ARM. Yea, inflation! Yea, tax breaks! Just wonderful, you suckers, once inflation catches up you'll be paying $100 for a loaf of bread and $20,000 / month rent, since the dollar will be worthless. I'll be sitting pretty in my *affordable* house, watching the price continue to go up, up, up! Hahahahahha!

(This, strangely, is actually how some of the homedebtors I know see things... scary that us renters will probably be screwed no matter what we do, right? Once this cr@p bottoms out we'll probably have to use our tiny down payment and buy just to avoid further inflation. Only comfort is if prices drop enough, our 5% down could turn into 20%. If prices only go up, hello permarenting. Sigh.)

Mammoth said...

HP’ers are the ones causing all this mess with their constant predictions of Doom & Gloom.”
- - -
Anyone here remember what it was like before the tech bubble burst? Many people were saying that there was a tech bubble, and that it was going to pop.

Well, it did.
- - -
Same with the housing bubble, as we are all aware.
- - -
Beginning at the end of last year, people began to discuss whether or not there was a recession coming. Now, nearly everyone is in agreement that we are indeed in a recession.

Here is the scary part:
Has anybody here recently heard talk about another Great Depression? I am now seeing mention of the words “Great Depression” in the MSM these days.

Guess what, folks.
It IS coming.

Are YOU preparing yourself for it?

UpsideDownHomeDebtor said...

What in the hell is the matter with you Housing Panic? Who are you people? Where have you been? It's not about the price, it's about the monthly payment! Sure all I can afford is a stucco and plywood shoebox in a war-zone neighborhood, but as long as I stay away from the windows and turn up the surround sound on the flatscreen, I can watch my Heroes DVDs in peace.

Why are you such losers? Renting is throwing money away. Don't you know that housing is a tax shelter? What do you mean you can't afford it? Many of you have good jobs--now is a great time to buy! What do you mean it makes more sense to rent? What are you going to do, save up enough money for a down payment and buy when prices correct to levels consistent with area incomes? What do you mean, exactly? You can do that? You weren't priced out forever? Suzanne was lying to me to get a commission check? How could the government let this happen to me--I've got a yellow ribbon magnet on my car!? If you knew all along, why didn't you try to tell me? You did? I just ignored you and closed my browser? I didn't read about the Americano Snapper Turtle, or REIC, or Tangelo Mozilo? I let my false sense of entitlement lead me by the nose into The Great American Ponzi Scheme; lining the pockets of the super-rich, all-the-while tying a $500K albatross around my neck?

Well, if you would have kept quiet like the MSM used to, then no one would know and they'd still buy my crappy house and I'd be rich like Don Lapre! DAMN YOU HOUSING PANIC! GOD DAMN YOU ALL TO HELL!(BTW-RIP, CH)

NEPA gal said...

All you assholes at HP have RUINED property values in my area! You put out all this bullshit about a 'housing crisis' and now my scared neighbors are putting up their houses for 200K less than last year as short sales but PEOPLE STILL AREN'T BUYING THEM. I tried to refi out of my 1% teaser ARM like my broker said I'd be able to do no problem, because REAL ESTATE NEVER GOES DOWN and now the bitch appraiser says my house is worth 140K max and she had to stretch the comps to go that high...but I paid 350K for it in 2006! It has a media room and everything...how can it only be worth 140K? I'm putting it on the market anyway and I just KNOW someone will see the value and buy it.

You're totally to blame for me not being able to refinance...my broker said he thought he could find another appraiser to 'play the game' but even if he can now I have to actually prove that I make 4K a month. Well I DON'T so I'm SCREWED. My payment has gone from 700 a month to 3500! How am I supposed to afford that????

I'm going to lose my fucking house and my wife said she's out of here with her new boobs and ass that we paid for with our HELOC and she's not on the LOAN so she's free and clear, that bitch! They repoed my Hummer last month when I tapped out the rest of my 401K so I'm going to have to start riding my bike to work.

What am I supposed to do if I get foreclosed on? RENT?????!!!!???


Stop laughing at me, you HP bastards! STOP IT!

Anonymous said...

Yea...all I want is guaranteed "free money". I'll even wait a few months to get it if necessary. It's the "new" American way of life....entitlement.

You should have studied what your parents did and emulate them. They understood the concept of saving and patience.

Chief Elf

Anonymous said...

"...There are many qualities and skills that go into being an excellent real estate professional—integrity...

...It's easy to write about the doomsday scenario...it has no basis in fact."

-Sonny Shrivastava,


Anonymous said...

I don't get it. People need a place to live. Over the long term housing only goes up, and who wants to live in some dumpy rental down by the railroad tracks?

Look, 70% of people in this country own their own home...and then there are the other 30%. Name 10 people who rent and are wealthy, and for each one of them I can name 10,000 wealthy homeowners. My parents among them - they bought a home 50 years ago for $4K, and now it is worth $400K. Do the math - that's a 10,000% gain, or 200% a year. They put $500 down on it - can you tell me of anything else that can turn $500 in $400K in 50 years? Do you think you're smarter, with nothing, than all these wealthy homeowners who have actually accomplished something? Fact - housing appreciates at roughly 8% a year, doubling every 10 years. You know what else doubles every 10 years? Your rent payments. LOL

You fools think you can buy a home for cash in 5 or 10 years for pennies on the dollar? Renters who watched the bubble pop in the 80s said the same thing, and you know what? They are still renting, throwing their money away month after month while my home is at 90% equity. That's right, while you hoard your canned food, ammo, and confederate flags, I pay my mortgage and am a few short years away from owning my home outright. I can't imagine what my life would be like if I had sat on the sidelines, frozen with fear, and Monday morning quarterbacked everyone else's financial lives - I suppose it would be a pathetic life like all of yours, with nothing to show for a life of work. I guess some of us are fortunate enough to be able to afford a nice lifestyle. So suck it.

Now is a great time to buy a home, for those who are independent thinking enough to go against the herd. Sheep need not apply for The American Dream of homeownership. But if you want, I have 5 acres I paid $5k for that, based on my calculations using historical data, I will be able to sell to you for $5 milion in 20 years when I retire. To bad you won't have close to that amount in your gold bars to be able to buy it when you finally wise up.

Anonymous said...





Anonymous said...

Anonymous 3:41

Not to get picky on the math, but $4,000 to $400,000 in 50 years is about 9.65% a year, not 200% a year. It compounds, you see.

They were very fortunate. My parents bought in 1967 for $24,000, sold last year for $160,000. That's about 4.8% a year in nominal terms on the house price appreciation. Based on their down payment, their return would be better, but of course leverage works both ways and recent buyers might be experiencing negative equity rather than appreciation.

Congratulations on your vast social network, by the way. I can barely come up with 10 renter friends, it must be exhausting to have 100,000 wealthy homeowner buddies.

6% Terrorist said...

Attention all Homebuyers:

1. Find the house you want

2. Do not contact any real estate agents regarding the property

3. Have the owners show you the property. If it meets your needs, urge the owners to dump their real estate agent and lower the price by the sales commission amount

keith said...

This thread is like reading Realty Times


l'chaim said...

HPers are all Jews who belong to a super powerful global underground organization, and are conspiring against the NAR, in order to create their own MLS with a Zionist twist, its all being funded by the top 3 unknown richest and tallest people on the planet and go under the name of AIPAC.
These so called HPers, own all the corporations, banks, media, gold mines, rice and egg farms, as well as a banana plantation, AKA ‘platano plantation’

They have a secret agenda to change the name of the ‘Milky way galaxy’
to the Milk and Honey galaxy’.

Once these grand Jewish conspirators gain ownership of the MLS they will be unstoppable.
We might as well say goodbye to the name ‘Milky way’

Elder insider

Anonymous said...

hey i thought this blog post was supposed to be for realwhores and other liars.....i guess none of them want to come on here and say what it is , that is on their pea brained minds these days. oh i get it...too busy mowing yards and picking up junk to take to the scrap yards, that's it....ha ha ha, you sorry bastards are going down i tell ya......down...

keith said...

No - this thread is satire.

Like Spinal Tap

straw buyer said...

Yo' ugly and yo' mama dresses you funny.

Buzz Saw said...

Lucky Market Sale; Ramen 10/$1. Pretend its New York Steaks...


Anonymous said...

You HP fools can't understand that we have sport athletes and golf year-round here in AZ. It's never been better to buy. And don't forget the rich Europeans and Canadians who are rushing to buy, as we're running out of land in the entire US. Plus there were 4 people in front of me at Krispy Kreme this morning. Big crash!


Anonymous said...

Yes! Pure, beautiful satire. Some of these comments crack me up!


eric in vegas said...

You stupid looser bloggers and fear mongers just had the break up the party huh? You just couldn't handle the fact that everyone was getting rich and living the american dream while you toiled day and night of your disgusting studio apartment. And who the fuck do these banks think they are getting rid of subprime and no documentation loans? These are what helped all the prosperity! Now they have the nerve to want a big down payment and for people to prove they can pay the mortgage. Well fuck them too! It's ok though, because housing will be making a comeback shortly. Enjoy your shitty apartment.

Anonymous said...


I bought and sold 18 homes in Phoenix between 1998 and 2006.

After that, I sold one last house in Feb 2007.

I was fortunate to get out when I did, but not without prior knowledge from blogs like this one.

In 2004 - 2005, the homes I put on the market sold in less than 10 days.

In 2006, they were taking about 40 days.

The one I sold in 2007 was on the market for 6 months.

I banked the dollars, bought some gold and energy stocks and have been real estate free for over a year now.

What a ride.

Sorry to hear about all you people who bought at the peak of the market, but without you, I would have a different story.

May the 600 bucks you get from the government in June, propel you back to viability.

Poor me. I don't qualify for the rebate and had to pay 38000.00 in capitol gains taxes on the 2007 sale alone. I paid more taxes over the last 10 years than I care to think about. I could have bought a small island in the Pacific with that cash. Instead I have to pay dock fees for my boat and that ain’t cheap. See what you people did to me?

Must be nice being you.


Frank@Scottsdale-Sucks.com said...

You renters are losers. Go live in your sh*thole one-bedroom apartments while I get to live like a king in my 1,000 square foot 1950s shack in Phoenix. I bought it for $600k in 2005 and it was so worth it!

I get a tax deduction, I don't have a landlord snooping around, I can make my payments 6 months late unlike you renters who get evicted with 1 late payment!

But best of all I get to keep my nose in the air and say "I OWN!" I took out a HELOC and got a BMW and now everyone thinks I'm the sh*t! There's no money left for my kids education but screw them, they're dipsh*ts anyway. And I'll have all my money back soon because this is just a small correction and my house will be worth over a million by next year.

You HPers are all pissed off because you can't live like a king like me. You totally missed out and now you're stuck in your one-bedroom sh*thole apartment crying the blues. Tonight I'm taking the BMW out to Olive Garden to celebrate while you eat your ramen in your apartment.

Other Anon said...

Anon Dude said...
"...busy mowing yards and picking up junk to take to the scrap yards, that's it...."
More like ripping copper pipes out of the walls of foreclosed FB homes and selling it to the scrap yards...

gadfly said...

If only they didn't invent the internet the MSM would still control what people read about the housing market and real estate would still be going up. Now anybody like that good for nothing guy called Keith who doesn't even live in America, can set up a blog and tell people the market is tanking. I think he should be silenced but what the heck, we might as well shut down the internet.

Democraatus said...

Damn Keith,

Without your blogs all would have been swell in housing and the dollar would not have been wrecked.

You Ter-ra-rist..

Banana Republicrat said...

I for one am sick and tired of Rice Panic watchers encouraging inflation! You have undermined my God-given entitlement to the same grains our forefather have eaten freely for generations.

Don't you idiots remember old familiar adages such as: "The price of rice never goes up" and "They are always growing more rice!" I even baked cookies and the mean man at the grocery store still wouldn't lower the price of rice!

Thanks for ruining my American way of life KWEEFER!!!!

JIM CRAMER said...









Give Me MY 6% : said...

Take your satire and shove it HP rental scum.

Due to your doom and gloom I have had to:

-Ditch the Trophy wife & girlfriend
-Cancel the order for the new Benz
-Halt construction on my dream
diggs by the beach.
-Only one massage session per week
-No new 10 gallon hats for my glamor shot pictures.

Tip of the iceburg when it comes to how my quality of life has eroded little scum between my toes ...just the tip. Unlike you losers I will be back though...The next million dollar scheme is just below the surface & I am right there.

Remember HP Scum: When you lose in America ...You actually win. Only when you are down can Uncle Sammy give you a handout and Congress is working on mine as I type.

Anonymous said...

My wife and I bought our 2/2/2 house in the Tampa area at the end of 2005 for $144K. Now its probably worth around 100K and we still owe $135K. Our rent was $600, now our Mortage payments with insurance, pmi and taxes are $1470.

I had a feeling the bubble was going to burst especially when all those stupid programs on tv like flip thise house with these retards treating houses like a roulette wheel started appearing. When the average dipshit starts talking about something, you know its time to get out.

We really didn't buy our house as an investment, we were just tired of living in a cramped apartment. We figured it would be better to have our money going towards something. Looking back we could have moved into a luxury apartment for $900 and pocketed that extra $600 per month but oh well.

We planned on maybe getting a slightly bigger house in a few years but I have told the wife to plan on staying where we are for a while. I'm guessing we will be here another 5 years at least before we can break even. If we can get to the break even point we would just want 1 more bedroom and maybe a pool and thats it. We don't need a mansion.

Our loan was a 7/1 ARM so we are ok for a while and even when it resets it won't be that bad.

Its been nice having more room the past 2 1/2 years and living in a house rather than an apartment building with a bunch of retards. The problem with renting is that you often have to live with a bunch of trailer trash assholes.

I often tell my wife that if we had waited, we could have gotten the 3 bedrooms and a pool and been done for the rest of our lives at an affordable price. But I know deep down that I have enjoyed living in a house the past 2 1/2 years and I don't think we could have stayed in that cramped apartment.

We got screwed by having bad timing. We were married in 2003, 2005 was when we were ready to buy a house. If it wasn't for all these speculating flipping assholes we could have done so for a lot less. We are in no danger of being foreclosed, we manage to get by and we are pretty happy. So I have to admit I am enjoying the carnage. I don't care if my house goes down to $0, we just want a place to live. It will almost be worth it to watch all these greedy assholes get slaughtered.

Anonymous said...

Hey, your negative comments starting back in 2005 caused all this mess. If it wasn't for you doomsayers, I would've become a millionaire by now. just from flipping houses.

Tom Adkins said...

I don't know why everyone just could'nt leave it the hell alone. You f*cktards have left me with no choice but to get a haircut and a real job!

Refuse to buy overpriced said...

Keith is a landlord. He is buying up all the bargains right now, and HPers will be renting from him for life because they aren't taking advantage of all the great deals.

Anonymous said...

Anonymous Give Me MY 6% : said...

Take your satire and shove it HP rental scum.

Due to your doom and gloom I have had to:

-Ditch the Trophy wife & girlfriend
-Cancel the order for the new Benz
-Halt construction on my dream
diggs by the beach.
-Only one massage session per week
-No new 10 gallon hats for my glamor shot pictures.

Tip of the iceburg when it comes to how my quality of life has eroded little scum between my toes ...just the tip. Unlike you losers I will be back though...The next million dollar scheme is just below the surface & I am right there.

Remember HP Scum: When you lose in America ...You actually win. Only when you are down can Uncle Sammy give you a handout and Congress is working on mine as I type.

April 08, 2008 8:05 PM<<<

there you go keith. you caught a real big fish this time.....ha ha ha...

wings said...

At the height of the housing boom I was making over a $1M a year!

I literally had hundreds of young couples a year dry humping like bunnies, after I got them into the house of their dreams, because they were so excited.

You sons of b-tches may have ruined my real estate business with all of your housing bubble madness propaganda, but you made me rich in the end:

Ha, I'm selling my video footage of all these young couples dry humping to Larry Flint of "Hustler" for $1.5M...


Anonymous said...

Utah HomeMoaner sez-

Thanks a lot for ruining my life! It was only months ago that I was bragging to members of my ward how smart I was. I was bragging to my California relatives about how well I was doing. My CA relatives all had houses that were worth 600k plus, and I was starting to catch up with them. I even went in with my brother in law and we built two spec houses to get even richer.

Now that you HP retards have scared everyone from buying we can't even unload our two 700k spec houses. Never mind that no one in Utah can afford them...until recently they could get ARMs and NoInterest loans to buy them.

Now I look like an idiot and I have to beg off when other couples ask my wife and I to go on "date night" with them.

Luckily, Utah's economy is much better than other states and the market will be turning around later this year. Prices will start going back where they were in a few months. We haven't finished the interiors of our spec houses. That way the buyers can pick the carpet and countertops they really want. No lawn or landscaping either. No sense in spending more money until it's sold. (Truth is I can't afford a lawn etc., this better turn around soon).

Things were going good until you PESSIMISTS screwed everything up!

hope springs eternal said...

This all happened only because too many people are haterz. First they took down Casey, then they took down Bear. But I will not give in to their negative thinking. Any time is a great time to buy!

Anonymous said...

You useless doom-sayers - look at what you've done!

You broke the American economy!!

It's all your fault.

Anon 3:41 said...

Anon 4:22

I hope you didn't spend too much time calculating the actual return on bad numbers in a SATIRE thread.

The main gist of my SATIRE was that realtors use bad calculations and false assumptions in their marketing, and too many people take it for granted and parrot it.

Arlene said...

I had some scary condo shoppers about 18 months ago--they insisted a housing crash was on the way and put out some feelers about how a 25%-lower offer might fly.

I, of course, laughed in their faces as I stepped into my new black Hummer.

Whose sorry now? Well, me. I haven't made enough to gas up the Hummer regularly for over a year. in fact, the bank may take it back, along with my two flip houses.

Looking back, I wonder how they knew?

(Author's note: They read HP).

Adamant said...

Blame you for what? The fact that I had a full price offer on my (Dallas) house 8 days after I put it on the market? That I closed last Monday and sold it for 30% more than I bought it for in 2004?

I couldn't be happier, bitter renters. Couldn't. Be. Happier.

HA HA BINKS said...




MikeCorona said...

This is the best blog ever. Arlene, if you are good looking, you can shack up with me in my rental condo. Return the Hummer to the dealer when the lease is up and we can cruise around in my hybrid.

poop said...

I happen to like ramen. It's good with Saltines.

Fred Felony said...

The voices in my head made me buy a house I can not afford with money I will never repay and as soon as I was called to start paying more than my former rent on this house I stopped paying anything. Hey, Hillary and the Obama party are gonna take care of the situation to buy my vote, so why worry!