March 29, 2008

Vegas home for sale: Includes a hot 22-year old model, two cars, and porn star and stripper phone numbers. Cocaine not included.

Man, it's getting ugly out there now. People are trying to sell their life along with their house.

Meanwhile, I think we can now confirm that Vegas is indeed full of hookers, strippers, porn stars, shallow people, unemployed mortgage brokers and screwed homedebtors.

Las Vegas - the cesspool of America. On sale now!

Thanks Richard for the link. I'm going to take a shower now.

Las Vegas Life - House, Benz, and priceless extras

Perfect way to move to Las Vegas and get a head start in your new home. You are bidding on a complete package that includes:

My 2750 sq ft luxury home on the 15th fairway of the prestigious Las Vegas Country Club, right in the middle of everything that is Las Vegas. Granite and Travertine flooring, Granite Kitchen, Euro Cabinets, Stainless appliances, His and her shower and fireplace in Master Suite. House has been completely custom remodeled and has a new automated lap pool and spa, new A/C, Heat, Water softener, too much too mention.

If you like, you also have the opportunity to continue having ( as long as you are cool enough to keep her around) my very cool and gorgeous 22 year old aspiring model, rent paying, best I ever lived with, rock and roll connoisseur roommate(pictured)-This alone is worth the purchase price.

1996 Triple Black Mercedes Benz 500sl Sport Edition(117,000 miles),

2004 Toyota Tundra pickup(20,000 miles, loaded) (Appeared in 2006 Gumball Rally and the movie 3000 miles)

My cell phone number(702) SEL-SEXY, including many stored numbers (and some introductions), highlights include 3 porn stars, one a 2007 AVN award winner, numerous strippers, "VIP girls", bartenders, club hosts, DJ's, and an original member of Guns n Roses, who will even come over and have a drink or two to welcome you.

Sale will be treated as 700,000 for the real estate(less than the most recent appraisal) and the rest as a personal property and goodwill sale. Good luck and happy bidding

36 comments:

Dewey Decimal said...

please post the link, keith!

Tyrone said...

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Vegas, BUBBLE, Vegas!!!
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Anonymous said...

Acting like a player in a 12 year old Mercedes. How funny!

Anonymous said...

Holy crap - went to the ebay site and read the q&a portion...brutal attack at nearby night club left the guy in a wheel chair! Not saying much for the neighborhood safety.

Anonymous said...

That is pretty god damn funny!!!

Anonymous said...

From the EBay listing:

"Unfortunately due to a brutal attack inside Treasures Strip Club (one club I won't recommend), by 4 men, possibly even a member of management, I suffered multiple injuries, including a fractured spine, that left me in a wheelchair for about a month and still needing treatment and surgery 9 months later. Treasures Strip Club has done nothing to help identify the attackers or deal with the mounting medical bills. Treasures even refuses to let us see their security surveillance footage from that evening in hopes we could identify the thugs. Leaving my life in Las Vegas will give me time to recuperate physically, mentally and financially from a situation that nearly broke me in all 3 ways."

I guess there are downsides to that hawt, hawt, hawt Vegas lifestyle...

Roccman said...

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Enjoy the DIE OFF!!!!

Richard

www.dieoff.com

Anonymous said...

Been here two years. Incomprehensible. This plus the video chick earlier.

What is it?

America is DEAD said...

This may be a revenue opportunity. How many tricks can the young whore included in the price do per day/per hour?
With the right introductions you can probably get a lot of men named Elliott for customers.
How about the AIDS insurance premium?

America IS DEAD

Anonymous said...

No wonder things have been 'going up' over the past few years.

Cheers, Haggis

Anonymous said...

The house? $700,000
The STD? Priceless.

Anonymous said...

I was thinking of moving to Vegas... I think this seals the deal. I mean, hell... why not make up some BS claims, buy the house with a liars loan, fly down there, move in and do her up the bum for a few weeks, then sell the cars, mail back the keys and laugh all the way home!

Anonymous said...

Nevada = butt hole of the country

like I really want to live somewhere known for gambling, whoring, and high AC bills. these people probably turn into drains on the economy when they turn into old hags.

LOL said...

I think you just found the future headquarters for HP….. Group buy….. Who’s in…….Anyone..??

condosleazy price said...

"3 porn stars, one a 2007 AVN award winner, numerous strippers, "VIP girls", bartenders, club hosts, DJ's, and an original member of Guns n Roses"

That's the weirdest and most desperate sales combo deal ever devised. I'm sure it sounds good to a crack head.

Anonymous said...

A home that comes with a prositute. Now I've heard everything.

Anonymous said...

How much for the model? You keep the damn house

Ed said...

"My 2750 sq ft luxury home on the 15th fairway of the prestigious Las Vegas Country Club,"

Ha ha ha ha. That prestigious club is in the middle of the ghetto. Maybe 40 years ago it was prestigious, today it is a dump surrounded by trash.

Anonymous said...

$700k for sloppy seconds? Probably more like sloppy 572nds.

And a middle-aged "triple black" Benz? Betcha his roommate can tell him what "triple black" feels like...

Anonymous said...

This is one real estate deal that is actually worth the price. I'm running off the my bank now to get qualified, I hope they still do zero down loans.

Anonymous said...

She is pretty hot in the pic but I could buy the entire bunny palace with that kind of money.

Anonymous said...

Is that Peso's or dollars? It may be a fair deal in pesos. If i buy can I "close escrow" with the slut in the white boots?

Anonymous said...

I suggest this property and entourage be purchased by the Republican Party and turned into the GW Bush Library and Archive. The staff is already lined up and Vegas exemplifies the fine standards of the Bush Presidency.

Anonymous said...

AND THE BIDS ARE IN UP TO 180K NOW

Bidder Bid Amount Bid Time

t***p( 106) US $180,100.00
Mar-28-08 22:04:40 PDT




r***9( 70) US $180,000.00
Mar-29-08 16:07:23 PDT




l***l( 334) US $169,069.69
Mar-28-08 21:11:17 PDT




t***p( 106) US $110,000.00
Mar-28-08 17:54:54 PDT




l***l( 334) US $69,069.69
Mar-28-08 21:06:41 PDT




e***c( 407) US $50,000.00
Mar-28-08 16:26:56 PDT




9***m( 298) US $25,000.00
Mar-28-08 16:05:12 PDT




e***c( 407) US $20,000.00
Mar-28-08 16:26:32 PDT




t***p( 106) US $10,000.00
Mar-28-08 16:22:37 PDT




9***m( 298) US $3,500.00
Mar-28-08 16:04:51 PDT




u***d( 594) US $2,550.00
Mar-28-08 16:10:34 PDT




n***e( 33) US $2,000.00
Mar-28-08 15:57:51 PDT




9***m( 298) US $2,000.00
Mar-28-08 16:04:38 PDT




7***a( 5 ) US $1,000.00
Mar-28-08 14:41:54 PDT



Starting Price

Anonymous said...

GAH, this site is so misogynist. Good blogroll though.

BubbleButtChaser said...

Hmmm, wonder why this club-hopping douchebag got the shit kicked out of him by a bunch of thugs. Did they rob him? Probably not. It was obviously "personal." How humbling this experience must be.

Anonymous said...

Anonymous said...
Nevada = butt hole of the country

like I really want to live somewhere known for gambling, whoring, and high AC bills. these people probably turn into drains on the economy when they turn into old hags.

March 29, 2008 6:30 PM
------------------------------------------------------
Yeah,and right next to that"throwing a hotdog down the hallway" ah well HMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM I can't be saying this kinda stuff here.
What I meant to say is Arizona is right next door.
Shakster

Anonymous said...

March 29, 2008 9:07 PM- That is the best joke I have ever read here!

Anonymous said...

The management of strip clubs are sleazoids?

Who knew?

Anonymous said...

auction ended early, reserve not met, did he sell it ?

Anonymous said...

Call Spitzer!

Anonymous said...

What a nice little slut.

Anonymous said...

It is not uncommon to be victimized at various strip joints in Vegas that may leave you wheelchair bound. The club with the most notorious record for this is the CRAZY HORSE TOO on Industrial Blvd. Previously owned by the Chicago Mafia,the entire staff from mgt.,dancers,bartenders,etc. are all ex-convicts with violent criminal pasts!(In 2005, there were more than 200 police calls from victimized patrons).Google/search CRAZY HORSE TOO,LAS VEGAS and you will be shocked.

The most common scam is the dancer claims she was stiffed by the customer for unpaid lap dances. The shift managers and bouncers will then beat up the customer and steal his wallet and max out his credit cards. Alot of explaining to do for the wife dont ya think?

Anonymous said...

I'm willing to bet that the blonde has more miles on her than the 12 year old Benz.

Anonymous said...

Why is everyone surprised that he's using a prostitute to help sell the house?

In my neck of the woods, they're called "realtors".

Anonymous said...

Vegas is one of the very few US cities with an international trade surplus. More than 40M people came here from all over the world last year, most of them leaving money here.

In the 70s while the rest of the US was suffering from severe stagflation, it was boomtime for Vegas as foreigners took advantage of the weak US dollar to come here and party.

Vegas is also home to the largest PV solar power plant in the world and the 3rd largest thermal solar power plant in the world. We have city wide recycling pickup and the casinos and many restaurants recycle their used cooking oil into biodiesel to run the some of the city buses (the rest run on Natural Gas).

Did I mention that some of the buses are hybrid too?