March 07, 2008

Say hello to the Chicago Spire - 1,194 condos running $750,000 to $40 million in what will become a permanent monument to the Great Housing Mania


Oh, dear god, how stupid can people get?

Chicago Spire stupid I guess.

This all-condo 150 floor monument to stupidity and greed will become (if not torn down first) a permanent reminder of this housing Ponzi Scheme and crash for generations to come.

Too stupid to be imagined by even the dumbest of American developers, the lead developers on this project are Irish, home of the greatest housing bubble (and eventual collapse) in the world. And since hardly any US buyers are dumb enough to buy one of these Ponzi Scheme Specials, they're now trying to unload them to naive foreign speculators.

So, anyone want to guess what percent of people who put down deposits will be asking for their money back? Or what percent will fall into foreclosure?

Anyone want to guess how far in value these units will drop from peak to trough?

Anyone want to guess how long until the first terrorist attack?

And I think it needs a HP-worthy name. Here's a few for starters:

The Chicago Foreclosure Monument
The Great Chicago Condo White Elephant
The Chicago Spire of Babble
The Chicago Ponzi Stack
The Chicago Idiot Tower
The Chicago Spiral of Bad Debt
The Chicago Big Overpriced Dorm

65 comments:

Anonymous said...

Are they crazy?

They must not be able to stop it

Ed said...

Ha ha ha. Spire. That is also the name of an "upscale, chic" condo building in midtown Atlanta where studios used to go for $500K and now can't be given away.

I'm guessing a lot of money was spent coming up with that name. Must appeal to the H2 set.

tater said...

I have to name it the
"Chicago Vanity-Insanity Building".

tater said...

But, don't you worry, Keefer, because helicopter Benny will be to the rescue. I hear tell that he is developing a heavy-lifting helicopter just for this occasion.

Anonymous said...

How appropriate that the shape of that monstrosity is a screw.

Anonymous said...

Mania Monument

happy homeowner in the stix said...

$40 million dollars for a condo? Are you freaking kidding me?

Paul E. Math said...

Yet another 'mistake by the lake'.

Anonymous said...

The Screwed Tower.

But hey, it creates LOT'S of new jobs.

They still have options to scale down the height after the foundation is completed.

Anonymous said...

Gasoline in West Michigan in $3.35 a gallon this morning!

YIKES!!!!!!!!

Anonymous said...

Within the last decade, several public housing highrises were taken down to build middle class and upper class condos.

Displaced people had no where to go - until now.

brian t said...

I have to disagree somewhat: here in Ireland, property is definitely in a deflating bubble... but there is also plenty of liquidity among the moneyed classes. Plenty of feckers with loadsamoney to plonk down on a scheme like this.

Anonymous said...

Looks pretty cool.

Anonymous said...

I heard it lost its funding

christiangustafson said...

And what a crime to put up that POS in what used to be the living Museum of Modern Architecture, downtown Chicago. As if Trump's disaster isn't enough.

It won't get built. Each time Chicago wants to build a new supertower, a recession or a war comes along and lays waste to the plans.

Chicago was absolutely SLAMMED by the Great Depression, it was ground zero. No new skyscrapers went up for 21 YEARS, until One Prudential went up in 1955.

Here are some pics I took of the Californization of the Chicago Loop (where I used to live).
http://deflationland.blogspot.com/2007/12/imagine-my-shock-when-i-returned-to.html

These days my focus is on the tenement structures they're building all over Seattle now:
http://deflationland.blogspot.com/

MR NY said...

It looks like a BIG SCREW!

How appropriate!

Metroplexual said...

That thing is as phallic as a unicorn. Sometimes a cigar is a cigar but sometimes it really is just a huge weiner.

Tangelo Mozilo said...

It looks like a narwhal's tusk.

Keyser Soze said...

Can you watch the Cubbies from any of those dorm rooms?

Anonymous said...

How about the "C*ck by the dock?"

Anonymous said...

They'll call it the "Chicago Screw."

What a perfect symbol of our times, huh?

Anonymous said...

How about the Chicago Tower of Bubble!

Veronica Lodge said...

RE: "Say hello to the Chicago Spire - 1,194 condos running $750,000 to $40 million in what will become a permanent monument to the Great Housing Mania"

Ah yes. Chitcago, home of the skyscraper.

But there seem to be a problem here. Before skyscrapers can be built, three things are required:

1. A scarcity of land which necessitates elaborate vertical construction. Check.

2. Firm bedrock to provide a solid foundation. Check.

3. A booming economy to generate the necessary construction funding along with investors and tenants willing to occupy the building. UN-check.

With only two of the three requirements met, this power tower doesn't have a chance.

V.L.

Anonymous said...

Looks like a dildo.

Is that the subliminal marketing strategy to lure women buyers?

shaun said...

i think the entire city of Dubai will be the ultimate monument to this building craze. it makes the Chicago Screw look like a joke

Bitterrenter said...

Look at the have-nots complaining about the excesses of the haves.

Don't you people realize that this is what you get with unchecked capitalism? With no redistributions of wealth? I'm sure these things will sell and fast, the owners spending a few days a year at this, one of the many places they own dwellings.

Remember, you voted for this type of thing when you decided the wealthy should be able to amass more and more while you get less and less. In a few decades you and yours will be building pyramids for the wealthy.

ENJOY YOUR CAPITALISM!

LauraVella said...

That's an eyesore. We have afew of own boondoggle's here in the bay area...

In San Francisco,there are at least 6-7 new high rise condo towers in the south of market area, better known as the 'warehouse district'. The newest and biggest project is underway right now and will be taller than the SF landmark, Trans American Building when completed.

What's so sickning is this new glass condo tower building sits at the base of the bridge & freeway actually, the freeway has been re-configured to "go around" this building. I would hate to be in this tower during the big one...

This 700 condo tower, rebuilding the bay bridge, and the new Transbay Terminal projects are three of the bay area's most expensive and in my opinion, unneccessary projects. Here are three links to these massive projects...

http://www.onerinconhill.com/


http://www.socketsite.com/archives/2006/12/they_just_keep_getting_bigger_and_bigger_and_bigger.html


http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?file=/c/a/2007/08/12/MN6SRGFIU.DTL

Anonymous said...

"How appropriate that the shape of that monstrosity is a screw."

LOL!

Anonymous said...

hey, they can always turn it into apartments....

Anonymous said...

World's biggest Dildo? What size batteries will that sucker require?

LOL. A lesbian fantasy come true!!

Anonymous said...

Oh, dear god, how stupid can people get?

Chicago Spire stupid I guess.




It will be called the Obama Monument.

Anonymous said...

@ Properties have already been taking reservations. This should help justify their agent's draw for more Xanax and white wine.

Such a scam. There is so much inventory in this town and no jobs. Cameras everywhere. Sales tax at 10%.

Instead of high-rise how about up-risings ?

Anonymous said...

ConSpirecy

Anonymous said...

"the Last Erection" gets my vote

Anonymous said...

The Screw is just the tip of the ice burg of the retardedness of this Shity.

The Screw is aptly named bec that is what they do to the Shity's citizens....

Tray Deee said...

Don't know if this is a duplicate:

"The Great Chicago Spire"

Anonymous said...

they'll go bk. someone will buy up assets for $0.50 on the dollar, try to finish the project, they will bk etc. eventually the units will sell for 150-300k

brokersleaveyoubroke said...

Anonymous said...
How about the "C*ck by the dock?"

You got my vote for best name. I thought it looked like some sort of penis symbol. Boston has its "Big dig" so I thought Chicago could have its "Big dick" but I still like your name better.

Anonymous said...

Bitterrenter,

You are making no sense. Central Banking is not capitalism; Central Banking was a plank in the "Communist Manifesto." Mania produced by central banking is what produces those monstrosities, along with more worth "public works" program to come.

HaChicago said...

Pig Dick Estates

Anonymous said...

Screw with a View

Anonymous said...

Hm, phallic symbol much?

Looks like a dildo. Like the kind that are direct-marketed to women. A heterosexual dildo.

Anonymous said...

C'mon Chicago! What the hell is that? Like others have posted, it looks like something ridiculous. It looks like someone twisted a joint. Or, as someone else pointed out, it looks like a dildo.

That's great. The architectural capital of the world will now be graced by a fatty dildo.

I can just see it now. "Hey baby, do you wanna come back to my joint?"

Protests should start immediately!

bitterrenter said...

Oh yeah, this is the commies' fault! LOL!

Keep worshipping the wealthy, keep letting a few amass wealth and most of all, keep voting for more of the same policies that allow the concentration of wealth in fewer and fewer hands.

This next downturn will f*ck so many people. I am so happy I am beside myself.

Anonymous said...

Call it the Chicago Spike

Anonymous said...

ground zero 09/11/2011

Keyser Soze said...

screw early
screw often.

Anonymous said...

Obama and Hillary are both from Chicago.

Anonymous said...

"Anonymous said...

Bitterrenter,

You are making no sense."


Anon you must be new around here. We usually just ignore bitter idiot. You'll catch on soon enough.

Mark said...

THE TARGET or The BULLSEYE. What better way for a terrorist. foreign or domestic, to express their hatred of American greed, arrogance and vanity than to destroy such a monument to obscene personal accumulation of wealth. The Death Trap would also work.

Anonymous said...

Who is behind this mortgage mess?

1. The Fed for artificially lowering rates and creating easy credit

2. The GSE's for buying up the garbage

3. Lax regulators who turned a blind eye to keep the good times rolling

Who will be punished?

1. The taxpaying middle class

happy homeowner in the stix said...

bitterrenter, have you ever gotten off your overfed American ass to actually see what life is like in one of your socialist paradises, or is it all just one big whack-off fantasy?

And yeah....been there (USSR), seen that, and my sweetie actually lived it. Capitalism American style wins, hands down, dumbass.

Anonymous said...

Bitterrenter,

"Wealth" is just another expression for "power" . . . the power to have someone else to do things for you the owner of "wealth" or "power." Market economy is the only thing out there to prevent the concentration of power (and therefore wealth) into the hands of a few. The only thing worse than the "wealthy" having the power to buy politicians is the politicans having the power (therefore wealth) themselves. "The people" do not own jack squat in a socialist society; the politicians own all the wealth in the society.

Paul E. Math said...

Chicago Shame Spire-al?

Anonymous said...

The Big Dildoe by the Lake.For anyone who wants to be screwed big time.
Shakster

Anonymous said...

Getting Phukked....Chicago Style.
Shakster

Poor Dad said...

There is also a silly Denver Spire, complete with hilarious overpricing and a failed first round of financing. It will be fun to see what percentage of the speculators actually buy vs. walk away if they really finish building it.

Anonymous said...

Wow what an architectural wonder...what did they just generate the idea with some cheap 3D effect preset in Illustrator??? I can see it now some fat ass executive playin with some cool plug ins ie; Photoshop Elements etc and thinks wow this is cool. Then an actual professional designer has to create it from this very stupid screw dildo idea that the fat cat executive came up with and thinks is so chic.

Anonymous said...

1. Even if the Irish have the money to buy - if its an "investment" property then they have to resell it to some sucker who wants to live there - which prolly means US suckers...

2. I vote for:
Cock on the Dock
Screw with a View

Andrew Hac said...

There it is the proof of the pompousness, ass-head thinking, showing off mentality of the Americano people.

This is amazing, breath taking attitude of the Americano.

And you ask the question as to why petroleum oil is heading toward $150 a barrel.

This nation and most of its citizens, residents, dwellers, occupants have no ethic, no moral, no responsibility, no duty, no honor, and last but not least, no brain. What it has in plenty is greed, self-centerness, ignorance, pompousness.

The housing bubble is a shiny mirror in which the Americano can look at itself and ponder upon what may the future brings upon this land of the Snapper Turtle.

A nation that mostly comprises of pigs feeding, tearing, roosting, chomping at the trough.
A nation with most of its dwellers obese, fat, diabetic, and plain ugly like a chimpanzee. An excellent display of this specimen is "BORKAFATTY" AKA The Pig and his fat-ass wify, rotten-teeth, maggot-smelly redneck kids...
A nation where a Walmart cashier can buy a house for $500K.
A nation in which its citizen's brain IQ is lower than a snapper turtle.
A nation which rules by turkeys, skunks, and rats.

The Americano nation is as toasted as a roasted armadillo skewered from mouth to ass sizzling, fat popping, juices oozing with melted golden fat over a bed of white hot charcoal.

::: Yummy grilled Snapper Turtle :::
::: Yummy roasted the Americano nation and the Housing Bubble :::

brian t said...

The "Screw with a View" meme makes it sound like a little bit of Dublin in Chicago... which is what it would be, I suppose. Dublin has a whole bunch of statues with such nicknames, see Wikipedia for a list.

Height limits on buildings are slowly being relaxed here, with plans for 33-story and 17-story buildings close to where I live (Ballsbridge), but to get their skyscraping kicks, Irish architects have to look elsewhere, like, say, Chicago.

Anonymous said...

Was this building something from "the Jetsons"?

corvinus said...

The Chicago Ryugyong Hotel

chris g said...

The Phallus Palace

BananaRepublicrat said...

"And yeah....been there (USSR), seen that, and my sweetie actually lived it. Capitalism American style wins, hands down, dumbass."

There is no doubt that the USSR was a miserable failure. But I would venture to say that if your sweetie grew up in Haiti or Camden, NJ she might have a different view of what American-style capitalism is and does for people.

Don't kid yourself--the current brand of American-style Capitalism (i.e. economy run by a handfull of megacorporations and their politician pets) could be just as bad at meeting people's needs before this is all said and done.

Come to think of it, that new block of condos down the street sure looks like a Soviet apartment building... hmmm.


"The Phallus Palace" well done sir!