Screw it HP'ers, if you can't beat 'em, join 'em.
Stop what you're doing right now and get out there and start your own personal crime wave!
Lie on credit and mortgage applications, buy and borrow as much as you can, convert it into cash, transfer it to unmarked Swiss bank accounts, and enjoy the spoils of your crime for years to come!
Run over to Wal-Mart and steal anything and everything you can! New iPods, some food, and maybe the latest Britney CD. It's all yours! And you don't have to pay for it anymore!
And then for kicks do some insider trading, go rob an old lady, do some telemarketing fraud, some identity theft, and maybe even start your own personal Ponzi Scheme!
And don't forget, you'll want to relocate to a town where you can network with other conmen and thieves - like Vegas, Miami, Scottsdale or San Diego. You'll learn the best lessons from appraisers and mortgage brokers.
Crime looks FUN! Beats working for a living! Party on!
The United States as you knew it is now dead. Crimes are no longer prosecuted. The criminals run the jail. And it's every man for himself.
God help us all.