What's the housing crash going to do to the divorce rate?
February 16, 2008
HousingPANIC Stupid Question of the Day
Posted by blogger at 2/16/2008
Labels: I didn't want to buy this damn house, I told you we couldn't afford this, this is all your fault, you can't even put a roof over our head
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94 comments:
Being married to an American cow like that is every man's nightmare
www.nomarriage.com
www.nomarriage.com is a great site. It's a bit overboard but most of it is true, i.e. most American women seek marriage just to live in a nice house and have kids at their husband's expense. Where the site loses me is the crap about getting a mail order bride from Russia, etc. My take is if you really want a golddigger, you might as well just stick with hot American women ... lol
My personal experience is most women are seriously obsessed with home "ownership." Women tend to be overly status conscious and "owning" a home seems to be the ultimate status symbol for $30k millionaires and other such phonies.
I dunno but it'll increase a lot the slut rate.
Gonna get ugly for both sides
Even lesbians and gays bought homes don't forget
Dough boy is no great catch himself especially after he loses his mortgage broker job
Suzanne is now studying to be a divorce lawyer
To the moon Alice!
http://tinyurl.com/25mk55
from the Lawrence Eagle Tribune In Massachsetts
Scene: 2008
Doughboy: Well, that's it! We're underwater, we can't make these payments and I just got word of the foreclosure notice in the morning's mail.
Cow: It's your fault! You knew we couldn't afford it!
Doughboy: MY FAULT? I distinctly recall a conversation we had two years ago. You pushed me into buying because you said we needed a home for the kids to go to school and YOU told me that we should trust that realtor because she researched it.
Cow: I NEVER SAID SUCH A THING!
Doughboy: Aw come on! I've been working two jobs six days and 70 hours per week just to pay for this piece of junk, while you have been sitting around whining about how we need this and that, you bought a new SUV behind my back on credit and you have run up our credit cards to the point that I can't pay the minimum balance.
Cow: I needed all that stuff to keep up with our neighbors. THEY seem to be able to afford it.
Doughboy: THEY are all Doctors and Lawyers. I'm just a middle manager in a grocery chain.
Cow: So?
Doughboy: What about Suzanne? Is she still a realtor? How much is she making now?
Cow: I have no idea, she disappeared after they closed the real estate office!
I'm screwed guys please help me. My girlfriend's goal this year is to lease an Infinity G35 and buy a house. I want her to buy a car (used) and rent a house but she won't listen!
yeah! welcome back suzzane!
http://tinyurl.com/25mk55
from the Lawrence Eagle Tribune In Massachsetts
February 16, 2008 9:24 AM
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Yes, I think this aspect of the bubble burst (divorced couples having to live under the same roof because homes will not sell) will grow.
Another aspect of the divorce/RE bubble burst is the equity buy out when one former spouse wants the home and the other wants their half of the equity. That will be a very ugly battle. I know of a couple in NOVA where the husband was the smarter bear. He got his 1/2 of the faux equity value and hit the road. The initially wanted the home but after it was all over she realized that being single and living in the exburbs with a 2-3 hour daily commute did not do much for restarting her social life. Now she is trying to sell, but the DC exburbs are the hardest hit right now and the price point she would have to go to in order to sell is so low that it would barely cover the new mortgage she had to take out to buy out the husband's equity and transaction costs. Thus in reality the husband got ALL the equity and she got an albatross.
What a chump....Grow a sack dude.
Guy with Scottsdale-wannabe girlfriend
Get a new girlfriend
I don't think the Cow was supposed to be the Doughboy's wife I think it was supposed to be his mother Right?
I'm not even bringing up the subject of housing any more, but a guy at work mentioned to me that his buddy 'owns' a couple houses that he can't unload...and his marriage is suffering. Ha! I know it ain't right...but I love it!
Well I figured that I may as well start posting again with my google account. It makes me feel more important, you see.
anon said: Being married to an American cow like that is every man's nightmare
THAT IS SOOOO TRUE!!
frank said: My personal experience is most women are seriously obsessed with home "ownership."
I bet that Realtor Ong's wife is that type!
I have been throwing knives at my wife for months now
AND
She has been trying to set me on fire
But we both work in a circus so it's pretty much our daily routine.
On our time off though, we enjoy the life we have living under a tent in a different city every month.
No home debt and I doubt we'll be getting a divorce any time soon!
Anyone get the feeling that housing (and the issues that come with housing) is the leading cause of divorce in the USA?
Such as the pursuit of wealth, working too long so you can afford a house, living somewhere you don't want to live because you're tied to a house, not agreeing on home furnishing, not being able to live in the dream house your partner wants, not making enough money, looking bad versus friends and coworkers because you don't have a nice enough house, having no money for fun things because it's going to the house, yard maintenance nagging, etc etc etc?
Maybe houses are anti-family-values?
If you look at the low divorce rate countries, houses are cheap shacks. The high divorce rate countries have expensive houses.
Hmmmm...
This needs investigation
anon said: Being married to an American cow like that is every man's nightmare
THAT IS SOOOO TRUE!!
*** Sorry, your life hasnt gone as planned, but take some personal responsibility . . . don't blame women for everything or put them down just to feel better about yourself . . . OBVIOUSLY there are all different types of women.
For example, I know that all men are not like YOU. and i don't run around on blogs saying they are (which is a little pathetic on your part)
frank said: My personal experience is most women are seriously obsessed with home "ownership."
And trust me, I doubt its any woman's dream to be married to you, so get over yourself.
/** Well, Frank, my personal experience is that most AMERICANS are seriously obsessed with home ownership . . . so again, stop the misogyny . . **
It's so much easier to feel like a "real man" and gang up together with other people you dont know on blogs and run women down . . . real manly. Just shows us you're not successful in your love life and don't know how to attract good women.
-------------------
Hey, lawyers gotta eat too. It is their turn at the rotting carcass of Amurka. Have at it boyz and girlz!
Anon @ 10:13
I'm screwed guys please help me. My girlfriend's goal this year is to lease an Infinity G35 and buy a house.
February 16, 2008 10:13 AM
Seen ithappen: newly married AM women next seek status from a new car & then house, just before they start power-munching their way toa 70 lb weight gain. Seriously- like eating 3 bags of Cheetos a night with candy bars.
Tell her one or both causes newly married women weight gain! Or that she looks fat in that car.
Speaking of which IIm getting my own $ss to teh gym this morning.
I have a great wife..very frugal...hates shopping..gets excited when I buy her cookies - mint milanos
We had an old acura for 10 years never a complaint.
She is not perfect and neither am I. But not getting caught up in the materialism of the culture has made it easier to get along. and we have avoided the stress of debt.
Nah, couples never break up over small things like money!
Hormel profits rise on increased SPAM sales.
Here's my stock advice.
Buy Spam, Ramen, Booze and Weapons stocks.
Nothing predicts a depression like the skyrocketing sales of canned meat.
Wife and I decided not to join the bubble chasers in the Bay Area, California. Have rented the past 8 years.
We have 3 kids; 6, 4 and 2. She quit work when the first was born. Then, since we didn't have a mortgage, I decided to cut my work days down to 2 days. I'm back up to 3 days a week now.
Because we aren't owned by our mortgage, we were able to live in the high priced Bay Area yet stay home with our kids every day except my 3 days of work.
Its been awesome and I'll never regret it. We are happier, the kids are happier. We drive 1990s cars. We don't eat out much. We don't wear fancy clothes. But we're having the time of our lives.
Meanwhile, every other parent I know of is struggling to find the best place to abandon their children at (daycare, preschool) so that they can get back to work so they can pay for their mortgage and car payments.
Amazing!. Humans take child rearing less serious than sewer rats. And the drive for material things is the biggest factor in this baby boomer child abandonment phenomenon.
i.e. most American women seek marriage just to live in a nice house and have kids at their husband's expense
Give me a break! There are plenty of independant women out there. I'm the one who holds the purse strings in our home and if I didnt', my husband would have put us in the poor house. Not very many men are attracted to ball-breakers let me tell you.
Maybe you're just attracted to the needy woman so you can feel like a man. And when you get there, you realize you're not quite the man.
It's best to RENT the woman, than it is to BUY/OWN (ie married).
That way, when you trade the bitch in, she DOESNT take HALF.
snicker.
"I'm screwed guys please help me. My girlfriend's goal this year is to lease an Infinity G35 and buy a house. I want her to buy a car (used) and rent a house but she won't listen!"
4 words for ya friend:
DUMP HER AND RUN!
Been there, done that....
Trust me, there
is PLENTY of OTHER fish in the sea.
"Anyone get the feeling that housing (and the issues that come with housing) is the leading cause of divorce in the USA?"
Keith, you NAILED IT!!!
Sorry, guys, but my personal experience (twice) has been that the GUY wants the house--more space for "hobbies" and "collections."
Also, though, I've wondered from the start of this bubble why the women that did want the big houses didn't realize that they were just increasing their own (unpaid, thankless) workload in the form of housework. Once you get up in the high square footage range, you practically need a crew to clean it. A McMansion with vaulted ceilings is not something you can whisk through in 2 hours on a Sunday afternoon.
Either way, who has time for this anyway? If people had been realistic about who we all really are (commuting wage slaves, for the most part), five-bedroom houses 40 miles from town would have been a non-starter for developers.
She is by no means the "worst wife ever" or even "the worst wife in a commercial."
Check out this wife/mother in a Verizon commercial. She's so bad, that a bunch of fathers around the US protested it for making dads everywhere look like buffoons!
http://tinyurl.com/3y3ln8
Also...
I finally got my wife on board with the Dave Ramsey plan. My wife has always been the frugal type inside, and I was the one who led her astray with credit cards. It's not that she was against paying debt and having a budget in principle... she just didn't think we'd ever have the discipline to budget.
Now that we've been budgeting for five months, our marriage has improved dramatically. Our debt (except the house) is almost completely paid off, and we are coming to a (realistic) agreement on what we can afford to pay for our kids' college. That is itself a big deal, since my wife is from Korea, and Asians put a lot of pressure on each other to send their kids to "good" schools! We've come to the conclusion that the kids can go to any school to which they can earn a substantial scholarship.
Yes, I have to say that my wife is a real blessing! She's happy with our 1.4x income house, our used/paid for cars, and higher education that our kids earn.
I was debt free and married when I bought a house with my wife in 2000. When I moved out to an apartment summer 2007 creditors were calling me at work over maxed and past due.
I swapped a 50 minute one way commute for a 6 minute trip to work. Since leaving the debt trap I've managed to pay and cancel one credit card and pay off half another. I just got approved for a loan this week (after being rejected last summer when I was a married homedebtor) which will save me $200 a month in burying the legacy of debt of the marriage and house.
Leaving the marriage and house has turned my financial life around. I'm much happier and better off now.
The comments about nomarriage.com are basically right on. It should be required reading for any unmarried man today.
That nomarriage.com site only confirms the conclusion I came to 16 years ago to marry a woman from a foreign country. That is why my wife is from Poland. She is a fine and beautiful human being and I love and respect her with all my heart. The best decision I EVER made in my life!
As far as "bubble divorce", this is a slam dunk. All those couples who required both incomes to pay all or part of the mortgage are gonna be in a world of hurt.
Just more fuel on the fire....
I've come to the conclusion that marriage is really *Un-natural*, there cannot come fast enough the artificial womb, and sex determination, so we can rid the earth of the plague that is women.
They are really here just for breeding and servitude.
yeah! welcome back suzzane!
Welcome back? No, so long, Suzanne and Realtors. And here's the Suzanne going away cake, made at Walmart, to prove it...
Walmart Cake for Suzanne.
my wife makes six figures plus, drives a 10 year old honda, and reads this blog.
i love her.
Keith,
Please start filtering out the no marriage spam. It sounds like a mail-order pimp, or the rants of someone with an inferiority complex about dating non-desperate women.
prostitution is the solution for men who truly want no strings attached, and the site promotes it.
the thing I find especially hypocritical about the site is that it bashes marriage to American women, whom you do not have to marry to date. while at the same time, it promotes foreign women whom you HAVE to spend a lot on for them to legally stay here, or to visit them. as if greencard marriages have less to do with gold digging.
I know of very few long term successful inter-cultural couples. I've heard many personal stories about foreign parents beating the children because that's more prevalent in other cultures.
in one such story, the husband had to divorce his foreign wife, or lose their child she kept beating. he chose divorce and bought half the home from her when the housing bubble was near peak.
greed and mental problems exist in all countries.
in another interesting story, the husband's foreign wife gave him hepatitis. she's still a carrier, and he died.
the one good thing is that the site encourages desperate men who believe in magic solutions not to have children. the bad advice is to have them late. men have biological clocks too.
http://www.nytimes.com/2007/02/27/health/27sper.html
"Maybe houses are anti-family-values?"
I'd say that if the house is part of the family equation, the family has too much time on their hands.
I've been learning how to play the piano and I hardly even know where I live any more since I'm having a ball at the piano.
Recession and economic depressions wipe out weak personal relationships in the same way that they wipe out weak business relationships. I'm already seeing it happen around me as couples bicker about their debt load.
Anonymous Arlene said...
Sorry, guys, but my personal experience (twice) has been that the GUY wants the house--more space for "hobbies" and "collections."
This may be true, but it is the woman who must have the granite countertops, stainless steel appliances, distressed wood floors, travertine tile and french doors. All upgrades to the standard 3 BR house of about $50,000. Oops lest we forget, the new minivan (must go to Denver to buy & pickup because the really cool Cobalt Blue color is not available locally) to haul around the soccer darlings.....
Anonymous said...
Being married to an American cow like that is every man's nightmare
www.nomarriage.com
Have you been to baldingbeerguts.com?
That film was every man's worst nightmare come to life. Most straight men are not obsessed with living in a house only to fit in and show off to other people how they are $35K a year millionaires. If the place has low crime, is clean, everything works, and the area is good a guy is happy with it. Women are the ones that have to have the latest trend and live in the area where the movers and shakers are buying. They also love to waste money on garbage home decorations. Why do you think Pottery Barn, Garden Ridge, Hobby Lobby, etc...stay in business and expand each year selling garbage?
Men do waste money on stupid things like a sports car or season tickets to the NBA or MLB....but their spending does not cost the family for 30 years.
Divorce rates will surge as the phoney wealth of flipping homes and home equity vanishes. Men will be stressed so much they will die from it 3-7 years earlier while women will be unhappy cause they can't buy their junk anymore.
The guy in the film clearly does not wear the pants in his home. He should leave that bossy psycho for some younger, better looking, but not so educated and lower income woman that will be respectful and make decisions with him instead of telling him what to do.
What is this site going to do once the comedy writers all go back to work?
Don't get married for sex. Get married if you want to have kids and a family life.
In order to have a good family life you'll need a woman who loves HP and hates the ball busting, selfish, materialism.
I love my kids and wife but I'd have a lot more sex if I was unmarried. Can't have everything I guess.
Dude with car obsessed chick. DUMP HER NOW. Unless you are a total retard, there are more women in the sea than you have time to fish for.
I understand its already on the serious rise here in So OC -- have also read of increased debt related suicides; but have no first hand knowledge. Am just waiting for the dust to clear, to pick up a McMansion at 1/2 price, along with their estate saled stuff. Sold last year at waning bubble pricing - 425K for a condo that had no HELOC; never used as an ATM, etc. & was close to paid in full. Have plenty of cash & looking for a nice place in Newport Coast and/or Turtle Ridge! Serious & rational sellers can contact me!
had a client one time that made millions over the years making little knick knacks.
the client was best summed up by a quote from my 80 year old, cartoon of character boss. a huge man with bushy eyebrows who smoked cigars like most of us drink water.
"goddamnit mike...i just cant believe all the goddamn money this fella makes by sellin crap to women".
man i miss that guy.
One more time for those who might have missed it:
Suzanne's 'research' -
6% 0f $700K = $42K
There are a few creepy comments on here about women.
But none of them outcreeps that original video. Gets me every time!
I agree that getting married is for suckers. It's like tying yourself down with a mortgage on a $700,000 crackhouse that you can't sell. Take a trip to Amsterdam, Thailand, Russia, Brazil - just don't forget the rubbers. With 3 billion women in the world, why settle for one? I believe in diviersity when it comes to women. I'd rather work hard, make good money and enjoy my life than being stuck at home with a ball and chain gnawing away at my bank account. The only way I would get married is if the woman made significantly more money than me and I could quit my job and sit at home watching porn all day.
"OBVIOUSLY there are all different types of women."
Don't go getting your panties in a wad. They were talking about the nagging bitch on the video clip or one like her. Did you like the nagging bitch on the video clip?
"It's so much easier to feel like a "real man" and gang up together with other people you dont know on blogs and run women down . . . real manly Just shows us you're not successful in your love life and don't know how to attract good women."
^^So, I guess its okay for a real woman like YOU to get on the blogs with other people you don't know and trash the men that YOU don't know. real womanly I wonder what that shows.
I think you all need to find some new women. My wife and I are perfectly content to rent. Hell my wife was the one who had to convince me to sell our overpriced box in Las Vegas. And I will forveer be greatful to her for doing so.
We'll buy again some day. But not because of some stereotypical womanly need to own a home.
Hi there,
This topic seems to have generated a lot of heat. So here is what I think about this topic.
Sites like nomarriage.com are spot on, except that they seem to suggest that non-american women are better. The reality is that all women are greedy, manipulative bitches.
It is best to rent or lease them. As another poster pointed out they are depreciating assets, so why should you buy (marry) them? Given the very unfavorable nature of the marriage contract as it currently exists, only someone who lives in an alternate reality would willingly accept it.
The benefits of marriage and children have long been oversold, not unlike the supposed benefits of 'owning' your own home. Think about it, why would you exchange liberty for servitude, especially when 1) there is no strong social/ legal obligation for you kids to support you in your old age. 2) your 'life partner' can financially screw you over anytime she wants.
There are some women posters poster who try to say that
a] you might not be upto it (who cares about your opinion, given that you are constantly bitching about your hubby/ boyfriend).
b] they are more fiscally responsible than their SOs (either lying or a statistical outlier).
c] Foreign women are bad news, it won't work (it won't work with you either, at least the foriegn women will play the game for 2-3 years more than you and they will be younger and thinner than you)
d] men have biological clocks too, they become fat etc (known of any women who can have kids when they are 80? And many men become hopeless and depressed after being trapped in marriages and stop caring about how they look- divorce usually cures this form of depression)
The reality is that this feminized society is going to become extinct and will be replaced by a more patriarchal society. Do you know of many feminized societies remaining poweful and functional for long periods of time? Ever wonder why?
I have a great wife. She's frugal. She likes tea, and uses each bag twice. I bought a 9K car and she was upset because cheaper we're available. She is human, and desired to buy. I made the case for renting. She argued, pleaded, cried, screamed, got out of the car, threw things at me, and called me names. She's not usually like that. It's a strong desire women have. I stood my ground. Now with the market in flames, my wife turned to me and said, "thank you for not giving in." I want a house. We'll probably buy two outright at the bottom.
To the guy who's girlfriend wants it all, now, on credit: Make your case, show her the math, tell her you want nice things too, tell her you also want a retirement, childrens education, to support the parents, etc. Then stand your ground. Are you a man? Stand your ground. If your girlfriend is marriage material, she will have a new respect for you. If she can't see that what you are doing is "husbanding" resources, she is not marriage material. Give her anything she wants when it doesn't really matter. Never give in when you know it is important, and you know you are right.
When the housing boom was on, couples were so ecstatic after buying a house, that they were literally dry-humping themselves right in front of their realtors.
Now that the real estate orgy has ended, it's gone one hundred and eighty degrees the opposite direction: couples are having to face the economic equivalent of the morning after the night before...and things are looking pretty fugly!
"Reversal is the way of the Tao."
Anonymous said...
"Not very many men are attracted to ball-breakers let me tell you."
_____
I am.
You can break my b*lls anytime, baby.
Rack 'em!
I expect an uptick in the divorce rate in the beginning when many relationship capsize that were built on expectation of happy sunshine all the time. When the magnitude of the economic crisis sinks in, however, many remaining couples will move closer to each other, because they realize that separation means poverty.
Marriages work when men love their wives and women submit to their husbands.
:and don't know how to attract good women.
Hmm... let me see,
Columbia Law grad
Into Buddhism and Shamanism
Read a lot of Fritjof Capra and Deborah Chester
Sorry, been there done that. I'm no longer interested in pseudo-intellectual, control freak women hiding their passive-aggressiveness behind advanced degrees. There's this fallacious concept that the modern, college/grad school education American woman is sophisticated and enlightened and it's basically a lie. This is the world of "Desperate Houswives", "Ally McBeal", "Sex In The City", all show with histrionics and no substance.
Anonymous wrote:
"I'm screwed guys please help me. My girlfriend's goal this year is to lease an Infinity G35 and buy a house. I want her to buy a car (used) and rent a house but she won't listen!"
Wow, your girl is really ambitious. BTW, Are you a metrosexual man?
American women have been brainwashed by the media.
Family 'child-support' law is making modern slaves out of the American men.
The media is geared to pressure men and women to get married.
At the same time, the media is geared to pressure women to control their husbands and push for divorse to get their free money (child-support payments).
The men are run into the ground and thus prevented from ever being able to rise up and crush the manipulative 'establishment'.
Wake up call to American men under 50 years old! By and large you are slaves 'owned' by the establishment. You will bust ass working all your life and die on the job; as social security will not provide you with enough purchasing power to retire on.
HAHAHA! YOU FOOLS!!!
The resisting husband is well aware of all this house nonsense pressure, but he will not go down like Doughboy.
Let me explain my technique and the differentiations between greedy women and women women.
1. the whole "I want a house" thing from women displays different characteristics depending upon the woman. Case in point, my wife wants a house. i know, she tells me about 93 times a week. Her reason: the same as mine, a sense of permanency to raise our future family. This is the "nesting" variety of nagging woman. Annoying, but with good intentions.
The second variety is my buddy's old lady, who wants THE house, not A house, its gotta be tha shiznit, in the dopest neighborhood, with a zip code that will display her importance (or to the more keen eyed observer, her skin flute playing skills)
2. My technique employs things that are tough to get across with women, but if you work with them, you can get the chciks to understand. here is an example narrative from an average day at resisting husbands house:
RH: hi babe. you look great this morning. Would you hesitate to call me the top gun?
Wife: Shut up. (Nesting instincts kick in while looking at my physique) I want a house.
RH: Why?
Wife: so we can get going with our life.
RH: such as....?
Wife: kids, paying towards something that will be ours instead of renting and wasting our money.
RH: you cant have kids in an apartment?
Wife: its too small
RH: you cant rent a bigger apartment?
Wife: I want a backyard though.
RH: you are aware that you can rent houses too right?
Wife: yeah but i want a house that we can make ours.
RH: We will. in a few years, i read HP everyday and Keith says no. We save up our money and buy when there is blood in the streets.
Wife: Hewlett Packard? who the hell is Keith?
RH: Just trust me babe. We are just like anybody else, we want the American Dream, homeownership, kids, everything. We just happened to enter this phase of life at the absolutely worst moment in the real estate market. Lets do the kids thing, then worry about the house later. the best thing for them is not to have their parents strapped down with some huge mortgage because they couldnt wait a few years to have their toy. It will come in a few years, and it will come cheaper. trust me.
Wife: Okay.
_______________________________
SEE!!!! yo just got to play the other side of the nesting angle... birds dont build nests for the hell of it.
Have you been to baldingbeerguts.com?
----------------------------------
Typical female bull shit confrontational response.
This web-site doesn't even exist... too bad I wanted to read what the bitches had to say about us men whose brass-balls can't be BUSTED! ;)
.
4 out of 5 men regret marrying
Divorce rate is around 60%. Majority of remaining married men are stuck in sexless marriages with nagging and bitching wives, but they choose not to divorce because they are afraid of being wiped out financially during divorce or for the sake of the children. Furthermore, majority of relatively happy marriages are among very religious people, people choosing to live a simple lifestyle, people living in the rural South/Midwest, and recent Hispanic immigrants. If you are a normal American guy living in a large metropolitan area marrying a normal college-educated American woman who is looking for the American dream (a nice house, kids, good life), then you are extremely likely to either get divorced or trapped in a miserable marriage.
An American woman has several fundamental problems that will never go away and that will get much worse a few years after she is married:
* Her inherent anti-male bias and pre-occupation with fairness that was drilled into her at high school, college, and through the media. Her constant confrontations and trying to prove herself and to make a point.
* Her self-centeredness, her ridiculously high expectations, her sense of entitlement, her high-maintenance, superficial, and stuck up attitude, her snootiness and her sense of superiority. This "princess" syndrome means that she will always think that she is better than you, and that she deserves and she is entitled to whatever she wants from you.
* Her general mental instability and psychological disorders.
* Her using sex as a weapon and reward to get things.
American women have devolved into bitter, controlling, spiteful, fat, lazy, manipulative bitches who feel entitled to "the good life" at the expense of their husband's health, happiness and well-being.
-------------------------------
WELL SAID!
just do the research. get a credit check on your future spouse, get an idea of her economic values.
mail order brides and prostitutes are no solution. some of the most materialistic women I've met are foreigners. very into name brand clothing, luxury cars, etc. many of them also like jewelry because they don't have to split it on divorce.
There are good and bad women everywhere.
the thing that cracks me up about that site is that it praises Clint Eastwood. Eastwood married a woman born in this country, she went to college here, and she was a career woman. This isn't proving your point against American women. Also, his film Unforgiven frowns upon prostitution.
Additionally, why do married men tend to live longer and earn more if marriage is so awful?
anon said: Additionally, why do married men tend to live longer and earn more if marriage is so awful?"
I don't have a problem with the institution of marriage itself.
'Live longer', you say? That would be great if you are in a marriage that you are happy with. But, why would a man tend to 'live longer' if he is in a stressed out burned-out marriage, with a controlling bitch that wants it all. You know; the kind of woman that can't do without her daily dose of "Oprah", "Desperate Housewives", "Allie McBeal", "Dr. Phil" and other men-bashing shows. Do you believe that this type of marriage makes for a longer life for the man?
Sure, on average, men earn more when they're married. But, they don't get to spend it on themselves. Usually, there are kids and if he has kids there are more mouths to feed, clothe and educate. He better earn more. That just goes to show that men work harder to succeed in a marriage by working harder to earn more money to support the family. That's fine if the guy likes that lifestyle. But, if the woman that you married has now turned into a demanding tyrant that wants nothing less than the best of everything - well, no wonder the majority of men are getting divorced these days.
To the guys who are happy in your marriages, and who have a woman that is a real partner and not a dictator, I say GOOD FOR YOU. If you have a wife that says, 'Let's be respectful of each other, and COMPLIMENT and COMPLEMENT each other as a way of life, then, the woman that you have is a like a rare gem, and getting more rare by the second.
Additionally, why do married men tend to live longer and earn more if marriage is so awful? ***
I believe that to be a bullsh*t and outdated statistic. What man wants to live longer while living in a stressed out, sexless marriage? None. Spew that BS some place else. I don't think anyone on this site is buying it.
"why do married men tend to live longer and earn more if marriage is so awful?"
How about you ask this to the divorced men? What's their life expectancy? Odds are that a lot of them don't think marriage is so great. I'd guess that they don't think their failed marriages did anything to extend their life expectancy, either.
a girl in my high school english clas was complaining one day that there are no real gentlemen left in the world.
my teacher (female) told her that perhaps the reason is that there are no real ladies left.
i loved my high school english teacher.
See how bitchy she treats him? See how she makes the faces and has a scornfull attitude? After she emotionaly batters him into submission and he reluctantly agrees, she puts on the happy face again and then gives a hug. And we men are not suppose to call women emtionally manipulative, that they with hold affection and are not materialistic. Riiiiiiiight. No marriage for me, thanks.
It's a classic.
It never gets old.
It's timeless.
Married Men live longer because they are nagged into going to the doctor, nagged into giving up dangerous activities, and they are more likely to have children who will check in on their old sick asses. Quantity doesn't always beat quality.
Columbia Law grad
Into Buddhism and Shamanism
Read a lot of Fritjof Capra and Deborah Chester
Sorry, been there done that. I'm no longer interested in pseudo-intellectual
==========
The above is the seven sister/ivy league myth where proper education is the ethos which makes the person. I feel sorry for those ridiculous guys who hang out at the Vassars, the Bryn Mawrs, etc looking for the ideal woman.
Realize that before the development of scholarships and financial aid, only daughters of rich industrialists and merchants attended those places. They were designed to be finishing houses to snare male offsprings of the Vanderbilts and such ilk. If you see the movie, "The Good Shepard", you'll see that Matt Damon was one such Navy, Yale 'S&B' brat, who got lassoed through one of those entrapments. The end result, however, was a loveless marriage and a son who barely understood why his parents never spoke to each other.
Unfortunately, what's happening is that a chunk of the wannabe upwardly mobile professionals are experiencing something similar which is why we'll be seeing more hypocritical and loveless unions, in the years ahead, with all the so-called educated types in our society. Really, the more things change, the more they remain the same. Don't lean on society to tell you what to do.
Guys, don't get married unless you want to have children. The only other reason I would get married is if she was rich.
Every woman under 35 thinks she's a diva and that she deserves Brad Pitt or George Clooney. They have delusions of grandeur. The dating scene is pretty pathetic for an educated, level-headed guy looking for a decent girl without serious mental issues.
Some of them come to their senses after they've been impregnated and dumped by a scam artist. Then you would have to work your ass off to raise somebody else's bastard children while the real daddy is off having fun screwing other women and travelling the world.
So here's the three choices for decent educated men:
1. Marry a psycho like the one in the video
2. Work 60 hours a week to take raise some asshole's bastard children
3. Stay single and enjoy life
Marrying a foreigner is usually a mistake. If both people are not fluent in the same language, they can easily end up "assuming" that the other shares certain values, opinions, etc. and the marriage is based on the neediness of the foreigner or the romantic fantasies of one or both parties, rather than a true meeting of the minds.
Even when each fully appreciates the other's culture, big issues come up over how big a percentage of the family income is going to be spent on airplane tickets, especially as elderly parents become dependant. If one spouse is from an impoverished background, the problem is even more acute as the couple has to set limits on how much will be spent supporting impoverished family members in the old country.
If your home ends up being used as a flop house for your spouse's entire extended family as they migrate to the USA for jobs, educations, and medical care, you may be sorry you didn't marry an American who at least understands the difference between the nuclear family and the extended family.
Coming home from a hard day of work to the Berlitz Total Immersion class and being an outsider in your own home can be just as stressful as a big mortgage.
Check out some of the immigration blogs -- there are guys posting on there who have found out that Dream Girl comes from a family of complete scoundrels, and that Dream Girl just wanted to get married and pregnant so that she could get child support and a green card. There is no real way to do a background check on an imported bride, and someone who has sneaked over the border and used fraudulent documents to work is SURPRISE! probably not going to be a great marriage partner in the long run.
The British government has just caaaaved to the socialist bankers with the nationalisation of Northern Rock.
Comment left on Calculated Risk:
Harsh Realty writes:
"Suzanne researched this!"
-Century 21 television commercial, 2006
"Our financial adviser Goldman Sachs has concluded"
-Alistair Maclean Darling, British politician and Chancellor of the Exchequer, 2008
Harsh Realty | 02.17.08 - 2:06 pm | #
:) 3. Stay single and enjoy life
I concur
http://www.newsweek.com/id/109614?g=1
BOOKS
How to Train a Husband
Want an obedient spouse? A new book says you should coach them like animals.
Attention, frustrated wives: if you want your husband to start listening to you and stop leaving his socks on the floor, all you need is a little patience and a lot of mackerel. Such is the putative relationship advice of Amy Sutherland, a journalist who spent a year at an animal-trainer school and decided to apply the trainers' techniques to her husband's annoying habits. According to Sutherland, the key to marital bliss is to ignore negative habits and reward positive ones, the same approach animal trainers use to get killer whales to leap from their tanks and elephants to stand on their heads. So to teach her husband, Scott, to stop storming around the house when he couldn't find his keys, she practiced what trainers call Least Reinforcing Scenario, which means she ignored his outbursts, and didn't offer to help with the search.
"Marrying a foreigner is usually a mistake"
Dude, ex-pats and intl students do it all the time. The problem is with these chumps who think that they can marry w/o doing the homework.
Learn languages, go there, meet people, work a little abroad, and understand the cultural differences and this even includes American Catholics and Orthodoxes who're dating Brazilian a/o eastern European women. It's more than just the denomination but a difference in culture. If you're worldly, you'll do alright (at least no worse than the existing national average, regardless); if you're a dumb Yankee, however, then all bets are off. Many fellows fit into the latter category.
We just unloaded our house - we bought in Jan 06, and boy, has it done three days of WONDERS for my marriage. My missus actually wanted the house, and we got in with a low-ball offer, as the it had been on the market for months even then. We walked away with about $10k more than we put in to it, which, given the circumstances, is just fine.
Now we get to live in a rented loft in our downtown area, with an awesome lifestyle, great restaurants and work within walking distance.
Props to Keith, and the rest on this site. I can preserve capital, look for opportunities and watch the collapse with popcorn, and a nice pinot noir...
And yes, she used the words complement and respectful when describing our relationship roles.
Married men earn more money because they have to work longer hours to pay for the wife's shopping habits. I know a guy at work who makes $100,000+ and is always flat broke. He drives a beat up 20 year old car with steel wires coming out of the tires. He gets paid on Friday and his bank account is overdrawn by Monday. He had to get a second job a couple of years ago to keep the house from being foreclosed. His wife is an alcoholic, shopaholic, and stay at home mom even though both their kids are in highschool. What a sad life.
agree with the anon above. how is paying for travel and supporting a foreign family abroad, likely to anchor in your home, a better option to dating local? nothing like living with the in-laws.
if you like someone, run a credit check on her before you commit to moving in or marriage.
regardless of whom you date, to reduce odds of getting trapped by a loser, wear a rubber you bought even if she claims she's on the pill. I've heard some sports players get advice to destroy the contents with chemicals after-the-fact as well.
to all the cads who want to ignore reality:
"A study of census and death certification data for more than 67,000 American adults has revealed that those who stayed single were more likely to die first, while a surviving marriage was strongly associated with a longer life.
The never-married 'penalty' was larger for those in very good or excellent health, and smallest for those in poor health. It was also found to be greater among men than women.
Robert Kaplan, of the department of health services at the Los Angeles School of Public Health, University of California, said that 'risky' behaviours could not explain the differences.
Professor Kaplan and his fellow authors said that the study indicated how a marriage-less life can be a risk factor for mortality in all age groups. 'Firstly, having never been married is a better predictor of poor health outcomes than either divorce or widowhood,' he said."
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/world/us_and_americas/article605118.ece
"how is paying for travel and supporting a foreign family abroad, likely to anchor in your home, a better option to dating local?"
Here's how... a friend of mine always has a place to go to in Turkey to visit his wife's relatives. They all like him and he's treated with respect over there. And no, he's not of Turkic descent but he knows a bit of the language because he went to school at Bosporus U for a year where he'd met his wife.
In contrast, his sister's family in New England treats him like crap and expects him to be the garbage man whenever her daughter decides to rebel and act like a spoiled brat. Yes, despite brow beating her own husband, she also beats down upon her brother since 'all men are the same'. This is in stark contrast with Mediterranean cultures where the main breadwinner (and internal family negotiator) gets treated like a human being.
This thread is ridiculous.
The movie, "American Beauty", was the best picture of 1999, not 2008.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/American_Beauty_(film)
All the themes of the phony, 'keeping up with the Joneses' marriages and the pussywhipped, unloved and sexless American male have been depicted on the screen before the housing run up.
What's happening today is that it's no longer on the silver screen but in everyone's front lawn because all illusions of mainstream American prosperity are out the window with offshoring and the global credit crunch.
Meh. I am a non-breeding 36-yo white female happily married for five years today. My husband (who is Italian) and I are a team. We make all major financial decisions together, and it wouldn't occur to me to whine at him until he gave in on a house purchase. Sorry to all you guys who married raving psychos -- but who's to blame for that?
My sweetie and I live in the Bay Area and couldn't believe the feeding frenzy during the peak. $700k 2br dumps in the City, with no time to even get an inspection done before someone outbid you? Uh, no thanks. Wouldn't you know it, 3br Craftsman-style houses (one of my favorite styles) are about to sink below $200k in Vallejo -- a nice ferry ride from where we work.
To everyone who told me I needed to "buy now or be priced out forever" -- HA HA HA HA HA...
-PM
:The movie, "American Beauty", was the best picture of 1999, not 2008.
Had almost forgotten about this film. Those were the Kevin Spacey five star film heydays of "LA Confidential", "A.B.", and "The Usual Suspects". It's too bad he hasn't hit a streak like that ever since.
It's strange no one brings up this film for what's wrong with our contemporary society, only the "Fight Club". Perhaps it was a decade ahead of its time?
"I am a non-breeding 36-yo white female... Sorry to all you guys who married raving psychos -- but who's to blame for that? My sweetie and I live in the Bay Area "
I was born and raised in San Mateo. If I could take the Bay Area back 20 years plus, it would be a nice place to live. Too bad you didn't "breed" and have 6 daughters to raise up right like yourself.
Enjoy the bankrupt state and cities, 16 languages at the middle eastern bazzare(Costco) and only driving at the hours where you can go 5mph on 101! Maybe I'll come back after the pole shift.
This is dead on...
4 out of 5 men regret marrying
Divorce rate is around 60%. Majority of remaining married men are stuck in sexless marriages with nagging and bitching wives, but they choose not to divorce because they are afraid of being wiped out financially during divorce or for the sake of the children. Furthermore, majority of relatively happy marriages are among very religious people, people choosing to live a simple lifestyle, people living in the rural South/Midwest, and recent Hispanic immigrants. If you are a normal American guy living in a large metropolitan area marrying a normal college-educated American woman who is looking for the American dream (a nice house, kids, good life), then you are extremely likely to either get divorced or trapped in a miserable marriage.
"If you are a normal American guy living in a large metropolitan area... marrying a normal college-educated American woman who is looking for the American dream (a nice house, kids, good life), then you are extremely likely to either get divorced or trapped in a miserable marriage.?"
EXACTLY!! American women(with a few exceptions) are trained to be selfish and they have a huge sense of entitlement. Who is supposed to deliver for them? That's right, the man. What do they deliver? Irrationality. My mom was a saint. My wife isn't that bad, but she still needed some re-training. My mother-in-law though...that's a lost cause.
"American women(with a few exceptions) are trained to be selfish and they have a huge sense of entitlement. Who is supposed to deliver for them? That's right, the man. What do they deliver? Irrationality. My mom was a saint."
My mom was Vampira and as a result, my dad had become an alcoholic by my fifteenth birthday. Next, my sister was a leach, as many have described in above postings and today, she not only drives her hubby nuts but my parents as well, during bi-monthly gatherings, for raising her as a child of an alcoholic.
Strangely enough, I'm the only one in the household who only goes drinking with friends, twice a month, and keeps the half-pints on the shelf. My sister, in contrast, is a full blown alcoholic chugging away all day long while her husband brings home the bacon. What a partnership!
Wow another repost ..
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