January 17, 2008

We interrupt this blog for a message from The Government

Hello HP'ers. We're your elected leaders, The Government of the United States. The ones with the little flag pins. And we feel your pain.

We understand people are upset by crashing house and stock prices.

We understand people are upset that the dollar is being destroyed and inflation is roaring.

We understand that people are upset that we've lost our manufacturing base.

We understand that people are upset that we're not prosecuting the mortgage fraudsters and insider-trading CEOs.

So we're going to do something about it.

Your $500 check will be in the mail soon.

So shut the f*ck up.

Sincerely,

The Government.

61 comments:

borkafatty said...

Thank you Mr. Government...And i will buy some silver on you thank you kindly...

BigD said...

Isn't American Idol on tonight?

Anonymous said...

You forgot to mention that the Chinese also are paying for this nice check in the mail.

Oh yeah, they're paying for the war in Iraq also.

Jymkata

Dtraink said...

Make it $1000 and its a deal.

Anonymous said...

Bush Wants Tax Rebates, Business Tax Breaks in Stimulus Package; Bernanke Sees Need for Aid

WASHINGTON (AP) -- United for urgent action, the White House and Congress raced toward emergency steps Thursday to rescue the national economy from a possible recession, including tax rebates of $300 or more for many Americans.

http://biz.yahoo.com/ap/080117/economy_stimulus.html

keith said...

The world is laughing at us

And then they're trying to figure out how to get rid of their dollars and decouple from our train

But that ain't gonna be easy to do

Anonymous said...

Funny thing is, they give to you on a check, than tax you for $1000.

Danny

JoseMananito said...

I want my govermento check NOW!!!
Gringos, is this great country or what?
Viva los Estados Unidos y los Anglos maricones.
Muchas Gracias, suckaristas!

Anonymous said...

You hit the nail on the head Kieth!

bigd said...

The Fed should lower interests rate to 0% and than housing goes to the moon and we all get rich!

Anonymous said...

AMERICAAA!!!

F*%K YEEEAAHH!!!

I'm going to Vegas with my $500 check baby!!! Woooot!!

Is America the greatest country in the world or what??!! That's freedom baby!!

Now let's go bomb some A-RABS!!!

lunatic fringe said...

Is that a weekly check???

Bitterrenter said...

The republicans will use this as an excuse to drop tax rates for the rich down to zero.

But then, most of you voted for it!

Hope ya starve!

Anonymous said...

I need some new parts for my Sailboat... send me my check!!! I really don't care what the Government does anymore, I give up.

Mark in San Diego said...

Actually, I read $300, but 3 or 5, is a cheap price to buy off the American public. . .does anyone really think buying $500 worth of junk at Walmart will save the economy? If you owe 500K on a mortgage for a house now worth $399K, it isn't going to make any difference - you will walk and give the house back to Countrywide. . . .

1929 - Banks sold stock on margain, and when the market crashed, people could not pay back the money

2008 - Banks sold houses on margain, and when the market crashed, people could not pay back the money

In both cases a massive credit contraction took place, a run on the banks, and an economic depression. . .

Anonymous said...

Anonymous said...
Funny thing is, they give to you on a check, than tax you for $1000.

Danny

January 18, 2008 12:14 AM



Exactly!!! Thats why this time I'm sending the mother fucker back to the treasury dept. with a note that they can shove it up their ASS!!!!!!

goron said...

how dare you make me LMAO! I needed my a$$!

In case any of you haven't seen it, you might want to watch:

Ron Paul's: You Can't Solve Inflation With Inflation Lego Animation YouTube Video.

Mr. Flibble said...

Mr. Government,
Could you send the check to me in Euros?

Hugs and kisses,
Flibble

Lady Di said...

It's a free money party!

I'm buying Silver rounds - sweet and shiny American Eagles. I figure I can score about 30 of these bad boys.

Life is good.

wings said...

Damn them!

I hope they burn for this arrogance!

Anonymous said...

I wonder how long it will be before the government just starts giving away empty houses so that people will buy stuff to fill them with and also keep the grass mowed.

ZZwcck said...

I sure hope I can get one of those checks for my dog. He's just like a member of the family and the cost of his food has gone up 20% in the last year. Unlike humans a dog has only food costs so the CPI shouldn't apply. Please give me money for my poor little puppy. He really does deserve it.

I wonder if I went out and scooped up 30 different properties under 30 different names could I get 30 different checks? It worked in New Orleans I bet it will work this time. I'm guessing they won't even call it fraud if I promise to spend every last penny and take out a couple loans to spend on granite counter tops.

If I recall the last time this happened the tax credits for children worked. I won't be disappointed if the money drop works, but I'm polishing up my Canadian right now. "He's over the blue line, eh" "It's different here, eh." And of course, "Where's the beer, eh?"

Princess Mononoke said...

Considering the billions that have been squandered by everybody at the TOP...

I'll take a $100,000 and we're even.

I think EACH of us are entitled to that don't you? Instead of the $500 bone they're throwing our way!

WC said...

Yeah a PS3 made in China - now if only I could afford to buy Rock Band

Anonymous said...

there are millions of illegals that are out of work. please help. get that stimulus package going - asap.

Anonymous said...

"JoseMananito said...
I want my govermento check NOW!!!
Gringos, is this great country or what?
Viva los Estados Unidos y los Anglos maricones.
Muchas Gracias, suckaristas!"


Chingate tu madre. Get back over the fence.

g said...

Keith - you forgot Harding in your worst pres poll ;)

borkafatty said...

Did umm anyone happen to see the Bond index.....You aint seen the last of the ..write downs...people here me, if you have an ARM call your lender and tell him or her you want out of it now...so you can remain in your home....NOW!....!!! not tommorow....NOW!...they will work with you....you will not see rates get any lower, well maybe a little tick...but its all up hill coming to a theater near you...30 year fixed!!...NOW~...or you will loose your home....just a thought...ok Back to American Idol.

Hambone said...

$500?
All at one time?
It`s like a dream, a wonderful dream.

Anonymous said...

"News flash" Homeland Security Secretary Michael Chertoff announces tightening of the border with Mexico.

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/22711841/

Speculation indicates to keep Illegal aliens from leaving the U.S.

In a private meeting Mr. Chertoff said, these are tough times right now and we need the support of our people. The reporter asked which nationality he was speaking of?
(sarcasm all the way)

Sorry that was just too easy.

Max said...

I think with all these talks Bush and Bernanke are just making the panic stronger. People will be tempted to stuff it in the matress. It happened in Japan during their 15 year long recession - their government and the banks were stimulating to no end, but people just hoarded the money, nothing moved, because everybody was paranoid from such "stimuli".

Anonymous said...

What gives money value? We know that intrinsically, a dollar bill is just worthless paper and ink. However, the purchasing power of a dollar bill is much greater than that of another piece of paper of similar size.

happy homeowner in the stix said...

Is that $500 per household, or $500 per person?

(Doesn't matter. I'll take whatever they are willing to give me.)

One more question....can they rush it over, please? My sweetie's birthday is next week, and Valentine's Day is coming up soon.

Thanks, Ben!

Roccman said...

Enjoy the die off!!!

I would spend that $500 on food, but that is just me.

Anonymous said...

Yihaa!! Read it.

WaMu Is Sued by Appraiser;

http://tinyurl.com/2rlhb5

or

http://online.wsj.com/article/SB120061760929099249.html?mod=yahoo_hs&ru=yahoo

Anonymous said...

Where is this $500 per American coming from? This is making the problem worse. We shouldn't even be in this mess to begin with. We don't need to spend more money that we don't have, we should be saving. This is insanity.

tanker said...

Let me get this right. Loose monetary policy and too much borrowing and spending got us into this mess.

So the cure is more loose monetary policy and more borrowing and spending?

Unbelievable. It's just unbelievable.

Anonymous said...

.




$1 a year for 500 years!


Like the polish lottery!



.

Anonymous said...

looks like they are not going to send me a check, i made too much money. They are talking about cutoffs of 85k for single and 110k for married.

I feel like shrugging.

Anonymous said...

i am going to spend my check on MREs and ammo.

Anonymous said...

si, viva Bush Jorge Busho, the Americanos are too kind. While they are up to their ass in debt, they are giving away dineros. I will call my family here to get these checks. Viva Jorge Busho....

Frank@Scottsdale-Sucks.com said...

The republicans will use this as an excuse to drop tax rates for the rich down to zero.

According to democrats, "the rich" is anyone making over $40,000 a year and not on welfare.

eric in vegas said...

"Let me get this right. Loose monetary policy and too much borrowing and spending got us into this mess.

So the cure is more loose monetary policy and more borrowing and spending?

Unbelievable. It's just unbelievable."

They don't know what to do and they're just flinging shit to the wall praying something sticks. I'll put my $500 towards my new car that I'll buy off some desperate home debtor in a few months.

keith said...

I wonder what people in places like Ethopia and Sudan think about the American government borrowing the money to send out $500 checks to everyone in the country so that they could all run out to Best Buy and buy new iPods

Seriously folks, what is happening in America is sickening. This is morally wrong, and should be opposed.

But it won't be. There's free money from the government about to fall from the sky!

Anonymous said...

Must See Video:

Your $500 will be in the form of New Bush Coins.

http://blip.tv/file/520347?ref=patrick.net

Kill Halliburton.

Anonymous said...

$500 for each family is going to cause huge pain for the government with very little benfit to the recipient. If you're lucky it may put off foreclosure for one more month. Everyone else will just spend it on rubbish driving up the inflation rate. Anyway whats with the free money - I didnt think the Democrats were back yet

Anonymous said...

If they're going to do that, then why not make it $50,000 per adult and $10,000 per child? At least that will make a real difference.

Anonymous said...

Now they're talking about $1600. Of course, it's limited to people making under $110K per year, which I'm pretty sure excludes almost all of the people who read this blog.

Man, I hate wealth redistribution. Bush is just another freakin' socialist.

Anonymous said...

If they're going to do that, then why not make it $50,000 per adult and $10,000 per child? At least that will make a real difference.

WOOOHOOO!! Cadillac Escaldes for Everyone!!!

Anonymous said...

Can somebody please tell me I misunderstood: You Amerifags are comunists nao? because I'm not sure they would do that even in Venezuela. I bet all your free market economists are nao twisting their mind trying to justify them using the Anti-Model which they tell everyone it failed because it was BAD not so long ago.
Go on America! Next good idea should be the gulags in Alaska.

Anonymous said...

Who in the right mind would get a subprime loan on their primary residence? In the economy in the last 8 years? If you did, you deserve to be screwed.

Anonymous said...

I want to buy silver coins. Where would I go? Could someone recommend some dealers. I want coins to hid at home.

Anonymous said...

mow that grass? i got garlic planted under it, to ward off evil spirits!!!!!!!!!!!

Lady Di said...

anon asked:
"I want to buy silver coins. Where would I go? Could someone recommend some dealers. I want coins to hid at home."

---------------------------------

I buy silver (and gold) coins through online dealer - Apmex. I do my shopping via the internet. However, if you want to go to a store and buy, I recommend doing research through the "gold is money" website Re: local dealers in your area.

Get a stash for a rainy day. You can't go wrong.

FredE said...

YFTM our science and technology dominance. And our world status. And our dollar's importance as a reserve currency.

buttmunch said...

Anonymous said...

I wonder how long it will be before the government just starts giving away empty houses so that people will buy stuff to fill them with and also keep the grass mowed.



- That's some funny shit!!! Thanks I needed that!!!

Anonymous said...

God Keith--

Perfectly prose to show us just what an absolutely MORONIC "Administration" is driving our beloved country into the ground. Handing out these meager checks now makes about as much sense as putting the proverbial screen door on a submarine...GLUG GLUG GLUG!! Ahhh the BS that gets by in an election year!!

Did anyone else see Bernanke's testimony the other day?? He looked like he was about to crap his pants...seriously...this poor guy is such a puppet. He was trembling and just as white as a sheet. Trashing your reputation like that on national TV would not be worth any amount of $$$--talk about selling out.

ALEX3191 said...

This is a bad move. They should give sheeple a CREDIT CARD WITH 500 $ LIMIT (say from Citi or Chase). That way will be clear for everybody what's this game all about - not to mention the sheeple will feel more comfortable with spending :d

Set said...

I wonder who we are borrowing the money to do this from. This makes absolutely no sense at all. Why do we continue to allow these morons to get away with this shit? Oh yea, I almost forgot, that habeas corpus thing we no longer have. Make waves and you just might end up missing.

Anonymous said...

Muchas gracias el capitan Jorge Bush. I will use the free dinero to pay smugglers, operating off the Florida coast, to bring my entire familia de Cuba. Viva la familia Bush. Todos los Cubanos love welfare y son republicanos. Viva la GOP and open borders!

Anonymous said...

Hey Keith, we could we start a campaign to buy gold or silver with Bush's check. Let's get Ron Paul people involved and email all the corrupt MSM, including Cavuto and Kudlow. Let's tell the entire country that we're all buying metals with the checks because this country is sinking. Please make a post about it.