January 24, 2008

FLASH: Congress and Bush agree on the Great Domino's Pizza Housing Crash Bailout Plan - large Domino's pizzas for everyone for a year!


A large Domino's with unlimited toppings is only $10.99, so everyone gets 27 to 54 of them with their $300 to $600 election-year gift from the worst politicians ever to grace DC. Tip not included. That's one pizza per week (or every other week if you don't pay taxes) for a year!

Vote for the incumbents! Vote for the people who brought you FREE PIZZA!!!! Forget about the Iraq debacle, the $52 trillion debt and the crashing economy. It's FREE PIZZA for EVERYONE!!!
And don't forget to thank China and the Arabs too - after all they're the one paying for this pizza party.

Oh, about that whole housing crash, dollar meltdown and inflation thing - sorry, they can't do anything about that.

WASHINGTON - Democratic and Republican congressional leaders reached a tentative deal Thursday on tax rebates of $300 to $1,200 per household and business tax cuts to jolt the slumping economy.

The officials, speaking on condition of anonymity, said the two wanted key members of their parties to sign off on the approximately $150 billion accord before any announcement.

Pelosi, D-Calif., agreed to drop increases in food stamp and unemployment benefits during a Wednesday meeting in exchange for gaining rebates of at least $300 for almost everyone earning a paycheck, including low-income earners who make too little to pay income taxes.

63 comments:

shaun said...

if they want people to actually spend the money, they need to give it to the poor.

any money i get will go in the bank or to pay down the car debt.

Anonymous said...

I'm buying Red Bull by the case!

sandman said...

Hey.... if you freeze the slices... you could have a slice a day!

whatadeal said...

I am a disabled vet. I do not get o dime of stimulus. Thanks america, oh and by the way ....You are welcome

k.w. - southern, ca. said...

It's far too late, and it will do nothing to resolve the problems we have with housing, and the stock market.

even orange man is worried said...

Paulson and Pelosi are on TV talking and giving away money like a couple of televangelists...

Be very scared...

Anonymous said...

I'm going to use the cash to buy some silver American Eagle dollars!

Then, in 2009, I'll be able to buy twice as many pizzas as today!

The dollar is dead!

Jymkata

sam said...

Damn. Is Pelosi right that "almost everyone" makes under $75k a year in this country?

If so, I need to find a higher class citizenry to hang out with. Or at least lower grade of taxation.

Any suggestions from expats.

Apt604 said...

I wonder how much interest each of us will owe on these $600 cash advances being forced on us . . .

chelsea clinton said...

What a f@ucking joke. Where the hell is this money comeing from?We ar already 52 trillion in the hole people.I thought the feds were worried about inflation? So we fire up the printing press and add more money to the economy.I thought inflation was too much money chaseing too few goods. Am I wrong here hp'ers? Bush is a total crook.Paulson is a scary dude too.

Anonymous said...

Will illegal aliens also be given some handout ? They too are consumers who can spend and save the economy....

Frank@Scottsdale-Sucks.com said...

Pelosi agreed to drop freebie looter lazy welfare handouts?

SHOCKER!

Malcolm said...

Under the plan, no pizza for me :(

Too bad, I really like pizza :(

I predict said...

I predict the ECB's arrogant refusal to drop rates will lead to a bear market in the Eurozone.

3rd Generation said...

Bella Lugosi Pelosi strikes again!

Bella Pelosi is enough reason to leave Kalifornia, but with Feinstein and Boxer thrown in for bad measure, nothing good ever comes out of California.

The Best Thing out of here is an airplane, but even that is getting dangerous with helicopter Ben and the Fed flyin' Real Low these days.

Shameful, corrupt and unacceptable. We are getting everything we deserve with much MORE to come... PS: Dominoes pizza is sh*t. Perfect for JSP.

LIBERALISM IS A MENTAL DISORDER

We the Sheeple said...

Its a trojan horse...Hey John Public ... We care & here is $300 each to prove it. Mean-while taxpayers will foot the bill for the housing bailout by all the other "attached" bills. It is a crime to steal like this in broad-daylight. Big business tax breaks & Govt backed jumbos...they hit a home run and the sheeple don't even care.

Anonymous said...

actually we are closer to $64-$74 trillion in the hole! ($9-current deficit + $55-$65 in unfunded entitlements)so whats another $150-$200 bill. between friends- i mean seriously - all this is meant to really be is a psychological bandaid for J6P when he/she sees their 401k statement in the next few weeks. wasted $ in all but a political sense.

Anonymous said...

I don't get any either. I worked too hard making money (and a tangible product)so guess it's Ramen for me.
Hope you all enjoy my tax paid for pizza. I'll work harder next year and maybe they can throw in some Sodas with your order.

JoseMananito said...

I wana mi cheque right now!!! Gringos,I hava grande familia so the govermento is gimme me muchos dollares.
Viva el Presidente Jorge Bush!
Viva los Gringos, suckaristas!
Viva America, where everything is free for me.
Muchas Gracias, you berry-berry hard-a-working, tax-a-paying Anglos maricones!

CalisDead said...

That pizza and all those yummy toppings suuuure look good. Realtors will love that bailout option, beats the hell our of Ramen noddles!

borkafatty said...

This is all for show. That $600 check you are going to get is a drop in the bucket compared to all the money government has taken from you. The extra cash is going to drive prices up that much more, which means that in the end, you will not actually get anything extra, just a slightly larger number on the bottom of next year's tax form, and based on the rebates of 2004, you will be asked to return the money next year anyway.

Let's do some math. The rebates cap at $75,000. Depending on your deductions, that means you pay about $9000 in Federal income Tax every year. (You actually pay far more in hidden excises and fees in the products and services you buy, but for the purpose of this thought experiment, let's just take the income tax.) Let us say that you have held the same earnings level for the last 20 years. That's $180,000 you have paid in taxes. And now that the government has taxed you to the very edge of collapse, they want to loan you a fast $600 to get you through so they can extract another $180,000 from you over the next 20 years.

And in exchange for this $600 scrap from their table, the government expects that in your gratitude, you will forget about all the lies used to take that money from you in the first place, all the lies used to trick us into a war, all the rigged elections, all the loss of our freedoms and civil rights.

I don't know about you, but my soul is not for sale for $600. And neither should yours be.

SATAN said...

Fat, lazy, and stupid. Thanks for making my dream come true.

michael said...

i am a w-2 earner who saves, lives within his means and sacrafices life's luxurys.

my self-employed co-worker with four properties and a limo at the family owned beach property (he owns four cars too) is getting $ 1,200 and i ain't getting squat.

WTF HAS HAPPENED TO THIS FRACKING COUNTRY!!!!!!!!

Anonymous said...

I am more upset about them agreeing to allow Fannie and Freddie to take on 730K mortgages or mortgages that are 125% of the local median.

WTF?????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Great, prolong the downturn even more and put the taxpayer (me) on the hook. Hey, douchebags, there is a reason no one will buy that POS paper!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Would one of you nut cases please take these traitors out?

Mark in San Diego said...

I can't even think of a good comment on this one, it is beyond belief. . .all this probably caused by a rougue trader in France. . .(the market crash anyway). . .will do nothing for housing. . .I guess I will just buy more Swiss Francs with my check.

Andrew Hac said...

Well, well, well...

That is how the Americano gets pigly fat in the long run by devouring those Fed-bailout pizza.

I do believe that Joe6Pack will be very, very happy. What is better on a Friday night entertainment than a 6-pack of Red Dog beer and a "Little Boy + Fat Man' brand-name pizza.

Long live the obese Americano !!!

Anonymous said...

domino's is the shitiest pizza in this world....gads that stuff is awful........yet people eat it.......go figure...

Anonymous said...

if blowfly comes to vegas we can buy him pizza and beer...

Anonymous said...

As a single renter, I paid $31,000 in federal tax last year and I cannot afford to buy a home where I live.

Fu*k you and your fu*king families- you can all start carrying your own fat asses because I am fu*king sick of this sh*t.

Fu*k all you, I quit.

Anonymous said...

Everyone else is getting freebies so fuckit. I'll take back a fraction of the taxes that I pay each year.

oc bear said...

Next event chariot races on the capital mall

Malcolm said...

At least here in Detroit we have a sex and perjury scandal involving the mayor to keep our minds off things.

Anonymous said...

Hey, Disabled Vet, I hate to break it to you but the people really don't give a sh*t about you and that's just how it is.

Yeah, they will say they support the troops, some will wear a flag lapel pin on their suit and/or some will put a Chinese made ribbon magnet on their Toyota truck. But besides that, what else do they really do to show their gratitude? Yeah, there are a few that will give you a "thanks" on Veterans Day, but by and large, most don't really give a sh*t or even think about Veterans.

In fact, 2007 marked the first year in my 17 years of being a Vet that I had Veterans Day off - I had to use up a vacation day to take it off. But hey, those government paper pushers, bankers and school children sure sacrificed for that day off.

Anonymous said...

You HP'ers are a joke. You guys keep predicting financial disaster and doesn't happen. For how many years has Keith and his minions predicted imminent financial collapse? Keep buying gold, guns, ammo, beer and live in your mother's basement losers. Also, keep hoping for a real estate collapse so you can buy that dream home in Southern California for 199K.

Anonymous said...

I paid $15 for pizza in 1978, do you think your really getting food when the pizza cost's $10.99 thirty yrs later?

Anonymous said...

This is only going to stimulate lotto ticket sales.

Anonymous said...

it'll make ZERO difference - people are going to spend it on their bills and then be in the EXACT same position they were in before the mini windfall - dont worry about the raising of the limit on frddy and fannie - it MIGHT help new buyser afford a home mortgage on a shitty house in california but it will do NOTHING to help bail out the millions of people who are in a negative equity position with no cash trying to refinance their way out of forclosure- wont help them at all unless you count a short sale as help.

goron said...

this cash rebate has 1984 fingerprints all over it! it's a false sign of wealth but americans have always looked up to false wealth; and it's also a smoke screen to hide the dollar losing it's value, hospitals becoming private, etc... i wish that people understood that "when the government gives you something, they always take away something much bigger!"

Anonymous said...

I'm buying ammo with my check.

Oh and canned food.

red dawn said...

Hey, take a look at this chart showing the USD vs. the Chinese Yuan over the past year:

http://tinyurl.com/2wflhs

The Yuan has appreciated 25% against the USD but why that hasn't crossed the Pacific and showed up as higher prices over here? Because the Chinese have been holding back price increases so as not to upset the Olympics this Summer.

After that party ends watch them show Uncle Sam what his dollar is really worth these days. That $150 billion in rebates we're getting isn't going to Dominos, it's headed straight back to Beijing.

Anonymous said...

goron said...
this cash rebate has 1984 fingerprints all over it! it's a false sign of wealth but americans have always looked up to false wealth; and it's also a smoke screen to hide the dollar losing it's value, hospitals becoming private, etc... i wish that people understood that "when the government gives you something, they always take away something much bigger!"

January 24, 2008 10:23 PM

What youre really missing is that Government is being taken away.

Buzz Saw said...

Free money!

Anonymous said...

MMMM HAAAA PEPPERONI!!!!!

Well at least for once they are spending our tax money on something sensible.

FYI, I will not be getting any gubermint pizzas due to the income cut off, so basically I'll be paying for the rebates and free money (to those who get 300 USD but paid no taxes!!)

I will make up the fact that Uncle Sugar has taken money from me and given it to others by not giving a dime to charity or beggers.

I'll just give a heave hoo to some old cr@p in my basement and take the non-cash charitable deduction. Enjoy the old, musty clothes and moldy running shoes!!

Oh and please Kiss my @$$ as I am fed up paying for everyone else's irresponsible, spendthrift ways which created this big mess!

Paul E. Math said...

So they're going to give us our own money back and then we're supposed to say 'thank you'?

No, I don't get it at all. This is what we pay them for?

Yet another example of legislative incompetence - this 'economic stimulus' package will make no difference whatsoever.

Anonymous said...

Hmm, sounds like the price of pizza is about to go up.

Anonymous said...

I will go with Mish on this one.

No free PIZZA for anyone.

No bail out for anyone.

Danny

devestment said...

I remember at the end of the Regan administration when Papa Bush came into office and was presented with the bill for Regan’s spending. I remember the military base closures; government cut backs, and operation Desert Storm. The next thing I remember was loosing my house and job. This sure looks like payback royale to me. My guess is that the next dumbfu@k in office looks real bad and gets blamed by the sheeple for the whole mess. How do you recover from a train wreck?

shtove said...

On the telephone to the pizzeria -

Banker: I'll have a pizza. Now!

Taxpayer (whispering over his shoulder): No anchovies!

Banker: Okay. (Down the phone) Spread anchovy paste all over the pizza. Now! (To the taxpayer) I've left my card at home - we have to use yours, or the pizza universe will collapse.

Taxpayer: Uuuuh ... I guess.

Banker: How big a tip do you want to leave? Or will we just let the pizza guy decide ...?

JoseMananito said...

Gringos,

I lova this country..everything free and now el magnifico Presidente Jorge Bush is giving my grande familia a mucho dinero cheque.
Gracias Americano suckaristas, I make love to this country lika I maka lova in the culo of your puta sista.
Viva La Reconquesta!

Bay400 said...

So let me get this straight. They are ENCOURAGING spending rather than saving which is what got us in to this mess in the first place.

Bay400 said...

Whatadeal--

Thank you for your service to our country.

Anonymous said...

Andrew shut the fuck up.......wetback

edd said...

In case you missed this:
business.timesonline.co.uk
http://tinyurl.com/2as7x4

… biggest mortgage bond insurers
collectively need a $200b injection
to maintain their AAA ratings.
…or will lead to a further round
of writedowns among the Wall Street banks and other large owners of the bonds, Sean Egan of
Egan Jones Ratings Co, said.

It would also push some of them
into receivership, Mr Egan added.
….
One insurer, Ambac, has already
lost its AAA-rating, while Mr Egan
has a B+ rating on MBIA …

Anonymous said...

Enjoy your pizza everyone! looks like I won't be getting any (redistribution of pizza from the rich to the poor, well, maybe not rich. I don't define making more than 170k/yr as rich).

BTW you are welcome.

Anonymous said...

hey Keith,

perhaps you should take a poll to see how many HPers will get some sort of pizza, ie who make above and below the income cutoffs. I for one won't be getting any, not even some reduced amount.

Anonymous said...

Fu*k you and your fu*king families- you can all start carrying your own fat asses because I am fu*king sick of this sh*t.

Fu*k all you, I quit.

-----------------------------------

i paid 60k in federal taxes last year. I feel the same way. Perhaps some of us "Atlas" types should shrug and move to a third world country and use our resources to create the next generation America.

Anonymous said...

Fu*k you and your fu*king families- you can all start carrying your own fat asses because I am fu*king sick of this sh*t.

Fu*k all you, I quit.

-----------------------------------

i paid 60k in federal taxes last year. I feel the same way. Perhaps some of us "Atlas" types should shrug and move to a third world country and use our resources to create the next generation America.

=================

Let's do this!

Anonymous said...

I don't qualify for the money either. I intend on quitting my job, so I can qualify for the next one. At the rate that the prez and Congress is sending free money, it shouldn't take too long. Brother, can you spare a slice of pizza?

Anonymous said...

maybe they are taking the ingredients off the national defence highways ingresses and egresses while trying to show the value of such things to the foreign nationals and governments bidding to buy them

Anonymous said...

how does loaning people higher amounts of money to buy overpriced and thus overtaxed properties in biddings make for affordable housings...........

Anonymous said...

but first those who pay for them must be put off

Anonymous said...

JoseMananito said...

Gringos,

I lova this country..everything free and now el magnifico Presidente Jorge Bush is giving my grande familia a mucho dinero cheque.
Gracias Americano suckaristas,
I make love to this country lika I maka lova in the culo of your puta sista.
Viva La Reconquesta!

You stay here and wait for the Reconquista Jorge, and have at it. Wait for that free check each month. John Galt is south of the border now. Only a select few invited. We will wave at you and the sista as we pass at the border.

Not only do we know where John Galt is we know Jack Shit too. He is also south of the border waiting for us and our hard earned dollars.

Check out Detroit. You are welcome to any empty foreclosure there. You might need to stop and get thermals on the way. It is cold in Detroit, unlike Baha.

Anonymous said...

For some reason it sounds like you're going after Mish here.

I say you will regret this, if that is the case.

Danny