God, I love comments from Desperate Homedebtors stuck in denial and debt who think they're going to get bailed out by the government.
One unintended effect of the Bush/Paulson "bailout" announcement is that it got a lot of people's hopes up, like this one.
Oh, won't they be surprised to find out.
Dear HP'ers:
You guys are a bunch of losers. You folks actually want America to enter into a depression. Well losers, keep buying more gold, silver, canned foods and fresh water. Keep thinking the world will end. Stay in your maman's basement.
I bought a house I could not afford with an exotic mortgage. My property increased dramatically and I took cash out. Now times are tough and guess what? I will be bailed out while you still hope for the impending financial crash/depression. So who has had the last laugh? You or me? I lived beyond my means and still get rewarded while suckers like you don't.
December 21, 2007
Comments like this one show just how F'd Desperate Homedebtors are
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68 comments:
A sign of a truly BANKRUPT mind!!!
May they live in and eat their cake of denial!!
The funny part is...they really believe that they are going to be bailed out!!!
The 'bail out' just might be a FEMA designated labor camp or the infamous US Army Civilian Inmate Labor Program...aka DEBTORS PRISON.
Dont believe me? Google the aforementioned along with REX-84.
Haha... That was funny!
No sir/madame, you will NOT get bailed out. If you had to take out an exotic loan to purchase your current home, then that means that you were NOT able to document your income.
The 'supposed' bailout that may or maynot come to homedebtors will ONLY help those who can document income for payment ability.
and If you happen to fall through the cracks and get this 'supposed' bailout, your rate lock will ONLY be temporary! So either way, YOU sir/madame are STILL screwed...
and NO sir/madame Anon
I don't want America to enter into a depression!! Come on, be real!
This MESS is going to affect US all! Why on earth would you actually believe that I/we would wish you this sort of evil.
YOU can thank ALL the "Power's that Be" in authority today for that!
Hey I think it's DOPES!
The only people who will get bailed out will be the banks. Not the homedebtors.
If there's a bailout at all, that is. Legislation can be tricky. In CA we were all angered when Schwarzenegger signed the "gun microstamping" bill, until we read it and learned that it will do nothing and was just feel-good crap so the libs could trick their supporters into thinking they were passing more gun control.
The same is true here - this bailout will do nothing - it's just smoke & mirrors legislation to create an ILLUSION of something being done to bail out the lazy asses.
The fact of the matter is that the majority of Americans today are looters who will support the candidate promising to give them the most free stuff without having to work for it. That's why smoke & mirrors "bailouts" like this are being passed.
The idiot who posted that comment is a prime example of a looter who believes he "deserves" that house without working for it or paying for it.
Sorry DOPES. It's too late for you.
Keith, I hate to say it, but he is right.
The prudent/responsible folks like us always get screwed by the government.
That is why I'm voting for Ron Paul.
if I was a strawberry picker making 15k a year like this guy and got approved for a $750,000 loan and then a cash out refi I'd be feeling a little cocky too about getting free rent for the 6 months of parties every night until they evicted me I'd be drinking Pina Coladas next to the pool in the back yard right until the sheriff showed up. Then I'd go back to pickin' strawberries and waiting for the next bubble.
Do the math. If your house is 5 times your income, and interest rate is 6%, you just volunteered for a 30% income tax . . . all for what? A house that could be rent for much less than half as much each month? Cash-out isn't exactly free money until you walk away from the house . . . you are paying interest on it! Of course, if you are holding out for the bailout, you are making your surchage income tax (mortage payment mentioend above) on time, right?
Want to see something scary? Google Housing Bubble..debtors prisons.
Please sign up for the Ron Paul march on December 31st www.ronpaulmarch.com and spread the word about this!!
I live in California and:
-I pay less than 1/3rd of a homedebtor.
-My apartment has beautiful landscaping and I don't have to do any yardwork so I sleep in on the weekends and goof off.
-We have a pool that is kept pristine and great neighbors
-The handyman fixes anything broken
-I take 2 surf vacations a year and usually a trip to Europe/Asia
-I save more than 1/2 of my after tax income and still eat out all the time
-I have no credit card debt
-I could easily retire in 5 years at the tender age of 42
I' would say it is I that have the last laugh...loser.
I have two concerns:
1. That the FBer may be right for himself. Bailout actions could keep HIM in his overpriced home while he laughs. True, he's still feeding an alligator, but he still ends up with a McMansion while we rent. Remember, the people who bought pre-1998 and sold around 2003-2006 are laughing all the way to the bank, having bought low and sold high. There are bubble winners out there, and they will be the hard nuggets of dissent against the larger (i.e. dismal) economic picture.
2. That the FBer may be right for most people. If that's the case, and THIS crash is deferred yet again (like the 1980s crash was deferred, and the dotcom crash was deferred), then the pressure to produce the next crash in 7-8 years will be all that much greater. The NEXT crash will only be that much larger, and THEN the 1980s crash will finally strike, having become many, many times larger.
People like to demonize us for "wanting a Depression". Of course, that's just propaganda. We don't want to see such suffering. But after watching such quantitative and qualitative mis-investment in housing and its derivatives, what else can the sensible economic analyst expect, but a major crash? A Depression at this point is the only sensible move for the American economy. Any attempt to put it off is only going to defer the forces compelling it to happen ... and when such things are deferred, they tend to grow larger. Eventually the same result happens, as a deeper crash or a longer crash (as Japan just showed us), maybe both.
You will be bailed out, eh?
No, my friend, the owner of your mortgage will be bailed out. You, sir, will be helped just enough so that you don't get wise and walk out on your mortgage. You are a modern serf, so quit fooling around and get back to work... your lord wants his mortgage money.
the real bailout goes to Wall St.
"This might have been one of Wall Street's most dismal years in a decade, but that hasn't stopped bonus checks from rising an average of 14 percent."
-AP
No honey, you aren't going to be saved...actaully you get to work even harder!
You get back to work now, to pay your *frozen* payment on your house that depriciating more & more as I type.
Do you like to pay for all that $ knowing its going down the tank????
I can go buy your house now in your 'hood for 200K less than you did 2 years ago - HEY is that cool?
And I'll still go on 3 cruises a year & buy new bling anytime I want
You will still be finacially strapped & have no more housing ATM, so no vaca's for you....just keep working to pay off the house, Honey
sure hope the Wifey doesn't leave cause there's no more "fun" (buying her shit!) in your marriage (divorce ain't cheap)
sure hope you don't have to move & don't get sick
- you're screwed six ways from Sunday, but you'll wake up from your Wellbutrin coma one day & realize that...
the crash is coming, it is around the corner, it will be in the trillions, not billions, trillions, the govt and their friends have tried to keep the market up for the last few months when it should have already crashed and the problem is that the ones they are trying to save lied to them.
Remember the guy who brought down the barrings bank in london 10 years ago ? that will be the tip of the iceberg as to what is going to happen. When the govt and finance systems crashes there will be no bailout money for anyone, just millions of empty houses, and a few super super rich that will be in hiding from the tens of millions that will be poor.
at that time we will be in a depression, maybe even at that point big brother will take over and we will be under a dictator ship.......... then again maybe it will not be that bad.
The only problem is that there was a book that came out in the 1980's called the hamburger factory which predicted what is about to happen and it was all planned by world govts.
Guy's right. People like me who played by the rule are the losers. While I was driving a used Accord he was driving his new Porsche. While I was living in a modest 3 bedroom townhouse he was living in a 4500 sq ft McMansion. And while he was watching TV on a 70" plasma, I was watching on a 32" 10 year old set.
He paid for none of that with his own money. It was someone else's money he was using to live a lifestyle he couldn't afford. I paid for all of it with my money.
Now to add insult to injury my tax dollars will be used to help out this poor "victim".
Honestly knowing what I know now, I would go back and do the exact same thing as he did.
Sound like the douche blogger with the 41 childern and a record of investment failure and shame...
Just another Proud Americano trying to get along...
We will march on a road of bones.
I doubt this guy will get bailed out. I also doubt that he exists, as this smells a lot like troll. But, in any case, I can't say I really care. Living off of wealth I create myself is a point of personal pride. Self reliance is the most important aspect of adulthood. Bragging about needing to be supported by the rest of society is pathetic.
For you people in denial out there about the bail out. Get real. The bailout is here. It is not going to be a Greenspan check is in the mail bailout. It will be small things here and there that will all add up like:
- no tax paid on debt forgiveness. so someone who heloced $200K and bought $200K of boat/hummer/trip to FIJI will have that debt forgiven as well as the tax owed on $200K. that is already a done deal
- rate freeze probably won't do much but it will do a little and house prices rise or fall at the margin. this will help with house prices some
- raising FHA and freddie/fannie limits, already done deal. this will help a lot of people refinance and keep from having to sell, again keeping prices higher
- fed will keep cutting and cutting and cutting. this will make heloc payments lower as helocs are based on the fed fund
- 2008 is an election year. just wait until March or May when the campaign is in full swing, more and more of these proposals will be coming out
You denying a bailout is like the FBs denying a bubble existed.
Troll.
Giveaway is "I lived beyond my means". No spendthrift ever describes it that way. Fake post.
And interesting logic at that: so all along he was secretly planning on this bailout? I don't think so!
BWA HA HA HA HA
Hey losers enjoy the 4% CDs while stocks soar once again today.
Santa Claus rally continues.
Personal income up huge in November. Nobody is spending anymore. The malls are empty. The recession is here. Maybe in HP loserland, in the real world the economy is on fire.
BWA HA HA HA HA HA
"tm" said: "No, my friend, the owner of your mortgage will be bailed out. You, sir, will be helped just enough so that you don't get wise and walk out on your mortgage."
That is my thoughts exactly. This dumbass thinks that he will prosper. He'll be drained before he realizes it. They don't call them "exotic" mortgages for nothing.
According to the History Channel, the Nazi's used hope to keep people in line long enough to kill them.
At the gate of one of the camps, was a sign that said "work brings freedom".
It's human nature to hope beyond hope.
Maybe debtors prison should have an execution chamber. that will shut up the smarta**es who are looking to serve time.
-CalisGone
What a f@cking moron.It is this kind of attitude that is screwing this country.bunch of lazt fat @sses watching tv and surfing the net.
So where is this depression already KEEFER? You keep saying the shit is hitting the fan. Yet incomes are up, spending is up, stock markets are up.
Housing is getting bailed out. And foreclosures were down 10% last month.
Seriously dude, your cause is more or less over. You lost.
It is possible that the quote was written as a "straw man" to emphasize the poster's beliefs about the mindset of the typical yuppie; not the post of an actual typical yuppie.
DOW up 150 today, 7% for the year.
Oh no the sky is falling in financial markets.
Once again HP loses.
Just imagine the pedagogical effect that a sustained price/wage deflation could have on consumer-credit junkies. Alas, it's not going to happen.
>> Honestly knowing what I know now, I would go back and do the exact same thing as he did.
You've learned the *wrong* lesson, sir. The *right* lesson is that money doesn't buy happiness, only short-term satisfaction, followed by buyer's remorse. The F'd Desperate Homedebtor that Keith is referring to is going to find that out soon enough. You sir, on the other hand, will prosper due to your living within your budget.
Really - do you think that owning a Porche is going to make you happier? Better? Smarter?
Listen and learn - I bought a new BMW years ago, not only because I was a car guy and love the things, but because I thought it would make me happy. I drove it for just over a year - and then sold it, at a loss of course. It not only *didn't* make me any happier, although I experienced *brief* moments of joy flying down CA's Highway 1 near Big Sur with the top down - I'm not a car guy anymore either.
Cars, homes, vacations, jewelry, plasma TVs, etc. - if you can buy it, you won't find long-term happiness in it.
"So where is this depression already KEEFER? You keep saying the shit is hitting the fan. Yet incomes are up, spending is up, stock markets are up."
Sure thing Bubba (anon). So please explain this to me. The "official" government statistics show a 4.9% growth rate for GDP in Q3, but FedEx says their profits declined 6% and they're warning of worse news to come. Somebody is lying, and I don't think it's the guys who move millions of packages a day.
Frank@Scottsdale-Sucks.com said......
The fact of the matter is that the majority of Americans today are looters who will support the candidate promising to give them the most free stuff without having to work for it. That's why smoke & mirrors "bailouts" like this are being passed.
============================
I live in a remote rural area where the people are exasperating hicks, but at least they are hard working, honest hicks, generation after generation.
The "freebie' mentality is much more noticeable from the re-located Balt/DC crowd that have moved in, in recent years, and tried to take over. To take ANY hand out, or not own up to your obligations would be a mark of shame to these local people. Not all Americans are "looters," (except those at the top, of course.) News about good average people doesn’t sell papers, a$$holes always make the front page!
Guys, he/she is probably just jerking your chains. There's all the stuff in that answer guaranteed to piss off 95% of you, and you fell for it.
Sure thing Bubba (anon). So please explain this to me. The "official" government statistics show a 4.9% growth rate for GDP in Q3, but FedEx says their profits declined 6% and they're warning of worse news to come. Somebody is lying, and I don't think it's the guys who move millions of packages a day.
----
Yeah and Oracle, Best Buy, RIM and Walgrens had huge jumps in profits.
You were saying....
This so called mortage relief policy is bad as a moral hazard and sends the message that fraud and greed are socially important values sanctioned by a corrupt Congress to buy votes. The tax credit alone is terrible and illegal tax policy, since everyone regardless of their fiscal prudence will have to pay a higher tax bill to offset the mortgage debt amnesty - 1099 income event debtor forgiveness. This amounts to a charitable deduction to the banks for foregiving debt to the most un-credit worthy of their debtors who knowingly lied and cheated to get the loan.
I am of the opinion that a flat tax would take these tools for voter manipultation out of the hands of congress and that is why we have a tax code that no lawyer or CPA, much less ordinary taxpayers can understand or will ever be changed absent a full blown change of government.
In the meanwhile parsitic banks need the mortgaged underclass to remain enslaved, and at least viable enough in the dying days of the republic to pay the mortage on a house that is declning in cash value every month. Let me put this in historical context: the mortgage payment is the peasants tribute to the king and court, who actaully own all property and controll the same through their ability to tax and seize it for tax-tribute non payment.
We are all peasants to our mortages until we are untethered and debt free.
Anonymous said...
So where is this depression already KEEFER? You keep saying the shit is hitting the fan. Yet incomes are up, spending is up, stock markets are up.
Housing is getting bailed out. And foreclosures were down 10% last month.
Yes, spending was up 1.1% in November but income was only up 0.3%. Adjusted for inflation, income was down .3% in November. Calling this GOOD news isn't spin, it's plain old BS. The market is up because Merrill got a big cash infusion. Nobody seems to care that China now owns a chunk of another big US bank. Maybe they'll change the name to Merrill Ling or Ming Lynch. Bill Gross says we're in a recession and I guess I have to believe him over some anon poster.
You HP'ers keep dreaming that the economy will collapse. Well personal spending is UP, GDP is UP, the stock market is still going UP. Keep dreaming for an economic downturn folks.
What the F*** is it with these jackoffs that are constantly saying:
"The Dow is up today! Sorry, losers!"
The Dow hasn't dont a F-ing thing since August and it's still about 1000 points below its all time high!
The dollar is down by about 7% completely offsetting any gain in the Down!
Gold and Oil have blown the doors off the stock market for 7 years running (both are up over 20% this year).
Are these jackoffs so clueless that they can't see this?
Jymkata
Remember, the people who bought pre-1998 and sold around 2003-2006 are laughing all the way to the bank
How many of these people sold and rented or moved to a non-bubble area? How many upgraded to a larger, more expensive house? How many bought two or more investment homes? I would say that very few honest people profitted. Most of the profits went into the pockets of the fraudsters and as bonuses to the lender execs.
A special Christmas message to the trolls:
You will always be broke.
You are getting poorer every year.
You are a slave to the government and the banks.
You will always be dependent on the government and the banks to bail you out (watch out when they don't).
You will never know security or freedom.
Jesus would be ashamed of your actions.
You are a loser.
Merry Christmas!
Jymkata
anonymous said:
"no tax paid on debt forgiveness. so someone who heloced $200K and bought $200K of boat/hummer/trip to FIJI will have that debt forgiven as well as the tax owed on $200K. that is already a done deal"
----------------------------------
You need to read the "mortgage cancelled debt" bills again, because if they are passed, they ONLY forgive "acquisition debt" NOT refi/HELOC debt.
So, this home"owner" is not bailed out from a tax standpoint, if he walks.
Further, the home"owner" will be exposed to a defiency judgment that follows him around and destroyed credit.
Ya but at least we sleep at night..HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!
Well personal spending is UP, GDP is UP, the stock market is still going UP
--------------
Carrot top is that you???????..Please stop..you killing me..hahah...
no really fucking stop.
Bill Gross says U.S. in recession: report
Posted: December 21, 2007, 10:55 AM by lee_joseph
Economics, economy
The U.S. economy has fallen into a recession, which should last for the next four to five months, Bill Gross, founder of Pimco, one of the world's largest fixed-income managers, told the Financial Times.
"If I had to be bold I'd say we began a recession in December," Mr. Gross said in an interview with the paper, in which he called on the Federal Reserve to bring interest rates down to 3%. He also said that the recession could be prolonged if the U.S. government failed to take "some rather unperceived and unforecasted measures in terms of fiscal stimulation".
To Anon 12:17 re hamburger factory book. I tried Amazon and Google and nothing of that title comes up. Are you sure that's the correct title you're referring to?
Bill Gross says we're in a recession and I guess I have to believe him over some anon poster.
December 21, 2007 4:30 PM
=============
OOOOHHHH Bill Gross said so. Well fuck, then it must be true. Instead of Suzanne researched it, Bill researched it.
What a fool.
Remember, the people who bought pre-1998 and sold around 2003-2006 are laughing all the way to the bank
How many of these people sold and rented or moved to a non-bubble area?
===========
I did exactly that. Although I bought in 2002. I now rent with a crapload of money sitting in the bank that I made simply by living in a house 4 years.
DOW up 150 today, 7% for the year.
Oh no the sky is falling in financial markets.
Once again HP loses.
Where do you idiots come up with this "logic"? That's like saying "My baseball team is in last place, but they won ONE game today, so they're going to the World Series!"
DOPE.
Further, the home"owner" will be exposed to a defiency judgment that follows him around and destroyed credit.
Since this whole debacle started, landlords I know here in SoCal have gotten *VERY* strict on credit ... not even a few late payments here and there are acceptable anymore ... meaning that judgement will prevent the former homedebtor from being able to rent. Beautiful!!
Fortunately for the landlords, us bubble sitters have maintained good credit by not gambling with our lives and we actually pay our bills. What a concept today!!
"Yeah and Oracle, Best Buy, RIM and Walgrens had huge jumps in profits.
You were saying...."
Financials systematically being bought out by foreign interests. Hope you like Merrill Ling and Abu Dhabi Mutual. Gold up big, oil up again. But I guess everything is ok since people are buying their gadgets.
And for the people asking where's the crash/depression? I don't think we'll see a depression, but there will be a housing crash and recession but you can't expect it overnight. The downturn has just started and will take years to fully develop. The boom didn't happen overnight and the fall won't either.
Oh I forgot to mention, you also have the government trying to manipulate everything possible to delay the pain.
I don't want a depression - but for the nurses aide that put no money down into a $535K house and can't afford her payments - why should she be bailed out at all - she put NO MONEY DOWN. She has no skin in the game and she is losing nothing. It's the bank/investment group that holds her mortgage that's going to lose. She can walk away and have bad credit for 7 years and rent - and there are a million people just like her. Someone that makes $13/hour shouldn't buy a house and shouldn't be bailed out.
Even if this person does get bailed out, it won't stop the price of the house from falling. The bailout is not going to make it easier for current non-owners to buy houses at such inflated prices. Unless money gets thrown to potential buyers, and in light of the fact that the easy credit days and housing mania mentality are over, how are potential buyers going to buy these houses at such prices?
WOW, the troll machines are back on HP! What a hoot!
Happy Holidays to all Bush-co damage control employees!
On with your spin!
(I used to get upset at the trolls, now it's just quality entertainment!)
Whats next? Bin Laden's airplane ticket purchases for his 19 hi-jackers on 9/11 were purchased from Bin Ladens 1972 walkie-talkie, according to Homeland Security?
So, why did the airline companies have no ticket purchase receipts for any of the 19 hi-jackers?
Answer: Because it was all just one big scam on the world.
But hey! How about those great interest rates and ever increasing home prices! Get yours today!
PS: Who needs tickets anyway? Just walk on board and take any seat!
DOW up 150 today, 7% for the year.
Oh no the sky is falling in financial markets.
Once again HP loses.
Where do you idiots come up with this "logic"? That's like saying "My baseball team is in last place, but they won ONE game today, so they're going to the World Series!"
DOPE.
December 21, 2007 7:16 PM
-----------------------------
Stocks are up 1000% since 1980. Gold is up 0%.
You were saying about last place teams Einstein.
Face it goons, you have been dead wrong. The so-called credit crunch is nothing but a media made event. Sure banks lost some money. But it's like housing. People made 100% or 200% returns and then lost 10%. To you goons that is interpreted as some financial disaster. Banks made tens of billions in profit for the last 4 or 5 years. And this year they lost a few billion.
My goodness that means the end of the world must be here.
Keep stuffing your $5 under the mattress and lose out once again.
"... and Oracle, Best Buy, RIM and Walgrens had huge jumps in profits."
What the heck does the price of RIM stock have to do with the state of the US economy?
Never rely on the Government to take care of you.
" Anonymous said...
So where is this depression already KEEFER? You keep saying the shit is hitting the fan. Yet incomes are up, spending is up, stock markets are up.
Housing is getting bailed out. And foreclosures were down 10% last month.
Seriously dude, your cause is more or less over. You lost.
December 21, 2007 2:08 PM"
Foreclosures were down 10% last month because banks like to avoid the negative press caused from tossing people from their homes during the holidays. Check the PRE-foreclosures and you'll see that January/February will be really bad.
To the tax on debt forgivness:
I don't have the actual text of the signed law, but the bill said: "The bill would provide a permanent exclusion for discharges of up to two million dollars of indebtedness (on or after January 1, 2007) which is secured by a principal residence and which is incurred in the acquisition,
construction, or substantial improvement of the principal residence."
The devil is in the details of improvement, of course, of what "substantial" means, but forgiven general HELOC debt is still taxed. The many who paid off credit cards with HELOCs still have to pay taxes if their debt is forgiven and they are solvent (not bankcrupt) at the time of forgivness.
"Banks made tens of billions in profit for the last 4 or 5 years. And this year they lost a few billion."
Ahahahaha. Guess what? They're going to lose TRILLIONS in the coming years. The losses this year are already wiping out this year's earnings. If everything was so peachy why is the governemnt sponsoring a bank bailout to keep these institutions that are "too large to fail" from failing? Why are they systematically being purchased by foreign enntities? These billions in losses are just starting and they can't keep pushing the toxic paper around forever. Eventually they have to mark to market these worthless assets and take the massive losses...er "writedowns".
Foreclosures were down 10% last month because banks like to avoid the negative press caused from tossing people from their homes during the holidays. Check the PRE-foreclosures and you'll see that January/February will be really bad.
December 21, 2007 9:21 PM
---------
Oh did they move X-mas back to November this year?
You guys are the kings of spin. Foreclosures down, you have an answer. Consumer spending surges, you dismiss it. Stocks up you dismiss it. Go ahead, keep living in your own world where it's always 1931 and the sky is always falling.
How's that Y2K bunker working out for you?
IVE BEREN HOLDING QUALITY BANK SHARES FOR 10 YEARS AND AM 10 PERCENT BEHIND.. NOT INCLUDING DIVIDENDS, THAT WERE paltry, YET IT LOANS HOUSE BUYERS MONEY THAT THE BUYERS SAY HAS DOUBLED AND TRIPPLED???????????//
Do people really believe that the Bush/Cheney Admin. will lift one finger for distressed home debtors?
Remember, their base only consists of less than 15% of the US population.
Keith
It's easily to tell that you wrote that rant and not one of your readers. Sheees.
Sorry, even I couldn't write something so dumb
There is a chance though that it is a hoax. But ya know what, I don't think it is. I think there are people out there who think just like this.
They're the ones out at the mall today running it up even though they're maxed out on their cards
eric in vegas said...
"Banks made tens of billions in profit for the last 4 or 5 years. And this year they lost a few billion."
Ahahahaha. Guess what? They're going to lose TRILLIONS in the coming years. The losses this year are already wiping out this year's earnings Why are they systematically being purchased by foreign enntities?
These private banks were never really American owned. The current system of private Central banks is typical of the British way of looting national economies through various free market scams.
The only banking system unique to America is modeled on Alexander Hamilton's National Bank. The rest are and always were foreign entities. And they are hostile to the American System.
Free trade and free markets are for British faggots.
Dump free trade and Adam Smith go back to the American system of political economy.
Stoppit, I'm weak with laughter
I can't find a book called the Hamburger Factory, but this will do:
Once upon a time, on a distant planet, the governing body constructed what they called a Hamburger factory. The citizenry of the planet had never tasted such a delicacy. It was a greasy slab of matter situated between two slices of starch product. Initially, only research organizations were privy to the delicious delicacies, but more and more the public at large began to clamor for the tasty morsels.
The government and resource organizations set up a distribution chain, to get the hamburgers to the people, while the government let a contract to manage the operation of the hamburger factory. People would request their burgers from the contractor, and the distributors, who were, as it happened, mostly volunteers, would distribute them.
The contract was awarded to MRH, who began happily doing their job. Eventually, such a demand arose for hamburgers, that the government found itself either unwilling or unable to continue funding MRH, and so allowed MRH to began charging for registrations to purchase hamburgers. You see, after you registered(with a small fee), you could use that license to purchase hamburgers anytime you wanted. Some actually would purchase a hamburger license, and then sub-license to many others and handle distribution for them.
So savvy entreprenneurs, began to see this burgeoning hamburger industry, and began formulating ways to start their hamburger industry. Of course, the government had developed the idea of a hamburger with public funds, but this didn't stop the businessmen.
They set up their own factory, and their own distribution chain. But they needed product. They finally decided on a scheme and began demanding access to the official distribution chain for their own product.
What they did was simple and beautiful. They realized that they couldn't actually create a REAL hamburger, but what was the next best thing? Well, they began consuming all the hamburgers they could from the distribution centers, keeping close eye on all orders. Once they were good and full of hamburger they would defecate on a starch product. Wala, a hamburger. It was hot and steamy, and seeing as they ate all the actual hamburgers, they figured their's was a valid product.
Of course, it was just a load of shit.
Happy New Year!
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