December 23, 2007

Ah, living the dream! Waterfront property in Scottsdale Arizona. Only $1,775,000 for this wine and cheese slice of heaven! BTW, what's that smell?


$1,775,000 financed with a 7.25 jumbo is $12,000 a month. Condo fee on this Scottsdale Waterfront unit probably about $1,000 a month (no, that's not a typo) and taxes and expenses let's just say another $1,000. So $14,000 a month easy.

You could probably rent this unit out for $2,000 a month. $3,000 if you found a real sucker.

Or, flipside, take the $1.8 million, invest it at 6%, that spits off $9,000 cash a month. Rent one of these units for $2,000 and buy all the fricking wine you can drink with the rest!

Anyone see the problem?

Holy crap people lost their minds in Arizona and around the country. Suckered into condos by slick marketing brochures filled with wine and cheese and babes at the pool. Meanwhile, that's not the blue cheese you smell on your patio. That's sh*t!

Nice view though of the Scottsdale sewer. Reminds me of the canals of Venice - possibly even more charming!

[UPDATE] - Unit just lowered to $1,695,000. Anyone want to guess how low this one will go?

71 comments:

Anonymous said...

Completely irrational.

I was in Phoenix last month and drove past this complex. The 'Waterfront' property is the dammed Tempe Towne Lake as Tempe and Scottsdale hoards water. No exit to a lake or ocean or any long fetch of water.

A case of Realtors saying something is so and creating something out of nothing.

Those units will go for $375,000 in 4 years.

keith said...

Actually this property is Scottsdale Waterfront, which is on the dirty Scottsdale canal. Always nice to watch the grocery carts and dead bodies float by when sipping that nice cabernet.

keith said...

By the way, I think this video was filmed on the Scottsdale canal, for some perspective

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TyUOmvIcHsA

Frank@Scottsdale-Sucks.com said...

LOL! It's a sewer canal! And in the zip code with the #1 highest property crime rate in all of Arizona!

DOPES!

Anonymous said...

Waterfront views, of the stormwater drain!

keith said...

Oh, man, this is too funny.

http://tinyurl.com/27ar96

Scottsdale plans to spend up to $2 million to make sure the foul odors plaguing the Scottsdale Waterfront shopping district do not spread beyond the wealthy enclave.

Sewerlines near Camelback Road and Marshall Way are ailing under the stress of Scottsdale's downtown development boom.

Restaurant patrons and shoppers around Scottsdale Fashion Square have complained for months about the sewer smells wafting into upscale shops and eateries.

Anonymous said...

$2 million? Exactly how much sewer do you think you can fix for $2 million.

Try and multiply the number by 50.

Andrew from Russia said...

Wondering if they use the same "waterfront" strategy that Russian developers follow to maximize their revenue. That's a scheme in itself:

1. Build a 5-storied block at a clear distance from the river. Advertise it as a quiet spot in a green neighborhood, sell for $2000/sq.m
2. Screw up the buyers of (1) by erecting a 12-storied concrete tomb in front of it, completely obstructing the river from view. Now THIS is the "waterfront property" that sells for $4000/sq.m
3. Screw up the buyers of (2) by putting up an 18-storied monster in front of the two with all the facilities of "luxury" real estate that goes for $7000/sq.m. The buyers of (1) and (2) now can enjoy a view on a sinister concrete canyon in place of the promised "riverside" - something that's conducive to suicide.
4. Let the city planners upgrade a backroad skirting the place into a superhighway so that the neighborhood is neither green nor quiet anymore.

Timing is crucial, of course!

Veronica Lodge said...

RE: "Or, flipside, take the $1.8 million, invest it at 6%, that spits off $9,000 cash a month."

OK. The idea is to keep your money invested profitably while living the good life for a fraction the cost of buying into an extremely unstable and risky "investment" property. Collecting interest is certainly better than paying interest.

But how can people be expected to understand this simple concept at the million dollar level when they can't grasp it at the $50,000 level?

For example: Why would anybody pay cash for a Ford or GM vehicle when the factory is offering 0% down and 0% financing for 60 and even 72 months? But there are many people with FICO scores over 750 who regularly pay cash for their vehicles when they could drive off the lot with nothing down and 0% financing. This would allow them to keep their money invested and not completely tied up in a depreciating asset.

The additional advantage to taking the 0% down and 0% interest loan is that as the years go by, the buyer will be paying off the loan with inflated dollars. An original monthly payment of $750 made in 2007 would be worth less than $650 in 2012 -- probably much less.

Worried about being upside-down in a car loan? Add gap insurance the contract. Worried about mechanical problems? Add an extended warranty to the contract.

Just don't pay cash for a car when you are offered an interest free loan.

And don't invest $1.8 million in a condo when you can rent it for $1000 to $1500 per month.

V.L.

Anonymous said...

I am currently out of the country and have been for awhile now. Are they back to 0% financing for new cars?

Mark in San Diego said...

I still have people ask me when I will buy here in San Diego. . .I now carry a little 3 X 5 inch card and hand it to them (no kidding) with the numbers. . .rent vs own - with our without a mortgage deduction. . .I rent at almost half price of what I could buy, with or without a deduction. Then I tell them that until property is APPRECIATING 5% a year or better, I can keep my money in a CD at get a better return. . . .all they can say is, "but don't you want to own?". . .some people just don't get it!

Mark in San Diego said...

BTW - I walked past this Scottsdale condo back in November - hey it IS right next to PFChangs. . .that is worth something isn't it?? Also, just like in the real Venice, you could dump your garbage "air mail" right into the canal - save on garbage bills!

dougr100 said...

Anyone remember the Mythbusters episode when they tested toothbrushes for fecal bacteria?
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/MythBusters_(season_1)#Toothbrush_Surprise
Mmmm...aerosolized feces everywhere....

Anonymous said...

1,775,000 financed with a 7.25 jumbo is $12,000 a month. Condo fee on this Scottsdale Waterfront unit probably about $1,000 a month (no, that's not a typo) and taxes and expenses let's just say another $1,000. So $14,000 a month easy.
------------

No Problem!

As long as you can still get a no doc, no down, neg amort loan..................

Anonymous said...

Yeah but at least if thier garbage disposal backs up they can always dump the trash off the balcony into the canal.

Aha! I am a fraudster realtor and now is a great time to buy!

SeatleMoose said...

Worth 350K....tops.

SeatleMoose said...

Should rename the place "Love Canal"....oops, that name was already taken.

Your Jewish Master said...

Believe it or not, there is still work in building and development. My work has only increased over the course of this year. Nice and steady. I've felt like the tortoise for years. And meanwhile all the hotshots are screwed, and I'm still creeping along. Working with quality clientelle.
To all those other consultants who had work waltz through the door simply because there was alot of it: you're going to find out that you can't market, can't sell, and you should have been working on those skills. You'll find out that your crappy customer service and crappy product don't cut the mustard.
Good riddance.

Anonymous said...

OK, I live in San Diego, home of inflated house and condo prices. But this is beyond insane. WHO would buy something like this?? Did the buyers really think that it was going to keep appreciating up up and away, that their "investment" would be worth 2.5 million by and by? For a CONDO overlooking a SEWER? In SCOTTSDALE??

eric in vegas said...

"I am currently out of the country and have been for awhile now. Are they back to 0% financing for new cars?"

Some brands are offering 0%. If auto sales continue to decline (they will) I would expect more 0% offers for longer periods of time.

Your Jewish Master said...

Check out Camelview Village!

http://tinyurl.com/mhg7t

showmenouns said...

Lets see... So in essence the deal is, Live here to flush 6k a month down the toilet.

Sounds pretty tempting.

bickerer said...

They literally need to drop a zero.

Yes, things are f'ed up when you find prices are ten times actual value.

Anonymous said...

Why should it be worth $350K? I would pay $800/mo to rent it if I were ever forced to live in Scottsdale.

Anonymous said...

Comparing Scottsdale to Venice, even as a bad joke, is a terrible insult to Venetians.

Anonymous said...

http://tinyurl.com/23uywp

Nice location.

How's business at Nordstrom's?

Frank@Scottsdale-Sucks.com said...

Scottsdale plans to spend up to $2 million to make sure the foul odors plaguing the Scottsdale Waterfront shopping district do not spread beyond the wealthy enclave.

Good god, why? That is such a sh*t neighborhood. It has a big crime problem. Everyone I know who has lived in that area has been burglarized, had their cars broken into, or both. From Thu-Sat night it's full of druggie clubgoers, lowriders, drug dealers, hookers, there is trash all over the streets, and to top it all, traffic congestion is insane around there and trying to get around on weekdays is a trying experience.

They need to give up on downtown already. Granted, I don't like any of Scottsdale, but if they're gonna spend millions, invest it in a nicer area at least.

Anonymous said...

I don't care if the unit comes with 24/7 hookers and unlimited cocaine. $1.7M for any condo is crazy. Scottsdale, L.A. Dallas, Miami, wherever doesn't matter. It is a fucking apartment for crying out loud.

Mike F said...

Keith,
Understand the sentiment, but aren't you comparing somebody borrowing 1.8 million dollars with somebody who has 1.8 million dollars to invest?

There's no need to make things more ridiculous than they already are.

Mike F

Frank@Scottsdale-Sucks.com said...

Check out Camelview Village!

Some of those condos have been advertised for rent for as little as $2,000/month on craigslist and in the paper....

mhrist said...

With so many rich people and 0% financing car prices are ridicuous. At least 40% increase in the past 7 years.
And I think in 2001 they were overpriced because of all the rich website kidz.
Hopefully, I will be able to get something nicer than the strawberry pickers.

Anonymous said...

PHOENIX (AP) - Police in suburban Scottsdale have begun routinely asking for proof of citizenship from every suspect they arrest and turning those who are in this country illegally over to federal immigration officials.

The procedure was started Oct. 15, a result of the September killing of Phoenix police officer Nick Erfle by an illegal immigrant, Erik Jovani Martinez.

Scottsdale police had arrested Martinez on a misdemeanor charge 16 months earlier but they released him then because they didn't know he was an illegal immigrant who had been twice deported.

Erfle's killing "caused us to look at what were asking suspects," Scottsdale police Sgt. Mark Clark said. "If we arrest someone and then find that we called ICE (Customs and Immigration Enforcement) and they put a hold on them, then we know they have been deported and are back again."

Anonymous said...

Frank you are right scottsdale sucks- if youre some kind of a broke dick 30 something loser trying to score a chick while posing in kierland- sound familiar?
you are a tool - hope you are luckier in newport beach than you were here - we cant get rid of your type fast enough- ive lived here since 1984 and i can absolutely say with 100% confidence you are superficial and full of shit- the VAST majority of people who live here are normal the fact that you never came into contact with them speaks VOLUMES about what you were after when you moved here and when you failed to obtain it you became a bitter bitter little man:-)).

Anonymous said...

Anonymous said...
Frank you are right scottsdale sucks- if youre some kind of a broke dick 30 something loser trying to score a chick while posing in kierland- sound familiar?
you are a tool - hope you are luckier in newport beach than you were here - we cant get rid of your type fast enough- ive lived here since 1984 and i can absolutely say with 100% confidence you are superficial and full of shit- the VAST majority of people who live here are normal the fact that you never came into contact with them speaks VOLUMES about what you were after when you moved here and when you failed to obtain it you became a bitter bitter little man:-)).

December 23, 2007 10:51 PM

And here I thought I was the only poster who thought Frank was an idiot. And "sales training" is on par with real estate sales, they're both bullshit jobs.

Anonymous said...

In other Scottsdale condo insanity, the Valley Ho is planning to turn the condos back into hotel rooms:

http://tinyurl.com/3cphu6

I think this was the absolute dumbest idea of the whole housing boom. It's one thing to turn apartments into condos. It's far dumber to try it with a hotel. It's even dumber to do it half ass with a hotel, having it part hotel and part condo complex.

What's next, converting a homeless shelter?

Anonymous said...


Erfle's killing "caused us to look at what were asking suspects," Scottsdale police Sgt. Mark Clark said. "If we arrest someone and then find that we called ICE (Customs and Immigration Enforcement) and they put a hold on them, then we know they have been deported and are back again."


These scum who are arrested, deported and come back should be placed in labor camps, forced to build a wall and dig trenches along the border before they are deported again.

Anonymous said...

I don't care if the unit comes with 24/7 hookers and unlimited cocaine. $1.7M for any condo is crazy.

It's not alot in Zimbabwe. If Uncle Ben has his way, the US$ will be in $100,000 bills and we won't have to worry about counterfeiters anymore.

Anonymous said...

Nothing like the view of a cement lined canal.So glamorous and worth every penny those idiots are paying for canal side property.

Anonymous said...

YOUR JUST JELOUS BECAUSE YOU HAVE NOT FIGURED HOW TO "DO" THE PAPERWORK TO SELL THIS 50,000 DOLLAR UNIT FOR 1.7 MILLION DOLLARS

Anonymous said...

14,000 a month is nearly $500 per night

That's sick

Anonymous said...

a waterview in the middle of the desert...what a deal..

Anonymous said...

You could play "count the dead people n the canal" while sipping your wine

Anonymous said...

i bet the whole damn thing was financed using taxpayer money and built by mexicans.

Anonymous said...

in america, those who can bullsh_t will be rewarded.

Anonymous said...

These are the dumbest condos I have ever seen. I cannot figure out who would seriously want to live in one these things.

You drive by it and it looks like an office building in the middle of the crappiest area of the city. It plays up all of the Scottsdale stereotypes: phoney, over the top, overpriced.

Even if the sewer smell doesn't make you vomit - the people around you will.

It's near that ridiculously pretentious mall with all the metrosexual "males" and cookie cutter bimbos sipping their fruit drinks outside the front door of the place.

I would throw myself into the canal if I got stuck holding the bag on one of these turds.

Edgar said...

I will sign up for that $1.8M condo deal if I can get $100k cash back, and when I say cash, I mean ::cash:: ;-)

corvinus said...

$25,000. Not a cent higher.

Anonymous said...

Is that two buck chuck they're drinking?

Whyknot in Snottsdale said...

BTW they are also known as the the Sewerfront Condos. The land of lipstick for pigs can add the temporary facade of luxury to anything. The quality of construction is complete sh!+ and these wouldn't be worth 200-400k in a normal market. The advertise that there are only 2 left but a little digging reveals the reality.

http://tinyurl.com/2xrrpc

Come get em while they're hot, only 31 left! I've heard that most of those are speculator flips. These buildings are almost completely dark at night which really adds to the amazing ambiance of being in front of a narrow and odorous cement canal.

The east tower is almost pitch black and the west tower has just a handful of lights on. There is also a net or something on the east side of scottsdale rd that has a net to catch stuff floating down the canal and it is always full of sh!+, pop cans and tarps and god knows what, and it is completely visible to all the traffic heading north on scottsdale rd.

eric in vegas said...

Damn, Frank has ruffled some Scottsdale feathers.

Frank@Scottsdale-Sucks.com said...

you are a tool - hope you are luckier in newport beach than you were here

LOL I love how every loser Scottsdale tool is so pissed off and envious that I moved to N.B.

When I started the site while still living in AZ people like you tried to say "He's mad because he can't afford to live with us here in Scottsdale" and now you are all in stunned silence.

I love it!!!

I must say, the caliber of people here is so, so, SO much higher than living in a town with nothing but half-assed realtors and mortgage ripoff artists.

former az resident said...

ive lived here since 1984 and i can absolutely say with 100% confidence you are superficial and full of shit- the VAST majority of people who live here are normal

---------

sorry but I call bs on that. I lived in the area for several years and found very few scottsdale residents to be nice people or down to earth.

you'd have to be blind to not see the attitudes of people from scottsdale. I lived in phoenix and as soon as I met someone from there and they learned of my phx address they'd turn up their noses and want nothing to do with me.

yes frank may seem a bit off his rocker to the uninitiated but his blog is full of endless horror stories from people who moved to scottsdale and could not believe the nasty rude people who inhabit the area. I support his site because if it saves just one family from moving to scottsdale it was worth his time in spreading the truth about that place.

and let's be serious, if I had the money to move to newport beach I would too, at least be honest about that buddy.

Anonymous said...

SCOTTSDALE WATERFRONT HAS 31 F*CKED FLIPPERS!!!

Current SCOTTSDALE WATERFRONT Listings

* 1 Beds / 1 Baths $525,000 ... MLS #: 2803067
* 2 Beds / 2 Baths $800,000 ... MLS #: 2873281
* 1 Beds / 2 Baths $819,500 ... MLS #: 2854112
* 2 Beds / 2 Baths $829,000 ... MLS #: 2854365
* 2 Beds / 2 Baths $835,000 ... MLS #: 2808461
* 2 Beds / 2 Baths $869,000 ... MLS #: 2802347
* 2 Beds / 2 Baths $1,265,000 ... MLS #: 2815712
* 2 Beds / 2 Baths $1,299,000 ... MLS #: 2728887
* 2 Beds / 2 Baths $1,485,500 ... MLS #: 2854136
* 2 Beds / 2 Baths $1,495,000 ... MLS #: 2840553
* 2 Beds / 2 Baths $1,495,500 ... MLS #: 2854126
* 2 Beds / 2 Baths $1,550,000 ... MLS #: 2806823
* 2 Beds / 2 Baths $1,575,000 ... MLS #: 2739358
* 2 Beds / 2 Baths $1,690,000 ... MLS #: 2886193
* 3 Beds / 4 Baths $1,750,000 ... MLS #: 2896895
* 2 Beds / 2 Baths $1,775,000 ... MLS #: 2807314
* 2 Beds / 2 Baths $1,795,000 ... MLS #: 2812871
* 2 Beds / 2 Baths $1,795,000 ... MLS #: 2762364
* 2 Beds / 2 Baths $1,850,000 ... MLS #: 2821215
* 2 Beds / 2 Baths $1,885,000 ... MLS #: 2877098
* 2 Beds / 2 Baths $1,885,500 ... MLS #: 2854143
* 2 Beds / 2 Baths $1,895,000 ... MLS #: 2732318
* 2 Beds / 2 Baths $1,995,000 ... MLS #: 2823946
* 3 Beds / 4 Baths $2,150,000 ... MLS #: 2865304
* 2 Beds / 2 Baths $2,225,000 ... MLS #: 2803035
* 3 Beds / 4 Baths $2,250,000 ... MLS #: 2736636
* 3 Beds / 4 Baths $2,750,000 ... MLS #: 2803054
* 3 Beds / 4 Baths $2,850,000 ... MLS #: 2886415
* 3 Beds / 4 Baths $3,345,500 ... MLS #: 2854166
* 3 Beds / 4 Baths $3,500,000 ... MLS #: 2865306
* 3 Beds / 4 Baths $4,495,000 ... MLS #: 2880693

Anonymous said...

The prize for highest priced condo or townhome in Scottsdale sold in May goes to a Scottsdale Waterfront condo, which sold for $1,525,000, or $685 per square foot. That seems high, but isn’t even close to some Waterfront units that are currently listing for over $900 per square foot. Sales for Scottsdale condos priced at over a million remains extremely slow, with 79 units in this category for sale, and I’m predicting further softening of prices, especially in the newer high rise condo units.

http://www.scottsdalecondomania.com/blog/heres-the-latest-scottsdale-condo-market-report/

Anonymous said...

Short Sale Trouble for Third Avenue Lofts

Third Avenue Lofts was truly ahead of its time in Scottsdale, being one of the first true loft communities in Scottsdale. But the “lofty” prices that sellers commanded a few years ago at Third Avenue Lofts have caught up to many owners wanting to sell in this market. Buyers now have several choices in new Scottsdale loft communities, and many have sold for lower prices than what recent buyers have paid at Third Avenue. The result? Sellers wanting to get out at all cost. 10 out of 20 units for sale at Third Avenue lofts involve some kind of lender approval, and in most case that indicates a short sale, where the owner owes more on the property than the price it’s listed for.

That leaves buyer’s wondering what they should pay for a unit at the Third Avenue Lofts. Are prices in danger of eroding further? Buyers would do well to compare prices in other loft communities in Scottsdale (and in Phoenix), rather than just checking sold prices in the Third Avenue Lofts. Third Avenue Lofts has some cool units with great terraces and great views. But cool has its price tag too. Is it above $800+/square foot?

http://www.scottsdalecondomania.com/blog/short-sale-trouble-for-third-avenue-lofts/

Anonymous said...

Current THIRD AVENUE LOFTS Listings

* 1 Beds / 1 Baths $350,000 ... MLS #: 2790161
* 1 Beds / 1 Baths $374,500 ... MLS #: 2899389
* 0 Beds / 1 Baths $375,000 ... MLS #: 2844431
* 1 Beds / 1 Baths $389,900 ... MLS #: 2857494
* 1 Beds / 1 Baths $398,900 ... MLS #: 2867745
* 1 Beds / 1 Baths $399,000 ... MLS #: 2818900
* 1 Beds / 1 Baths $399,000 ... MLS #: 2844434
* 1 Beds / 1 Baths $465,000 ... MLS #: 2885236
* 1 Beds / 1 Baths $474,900 ... MLS #: 2827890
* 1 Beds / 1 Baths $474,900 ... MLS #: 2898993
* 1 Beds / 1 Baths $515,000 ... MLS #: 2813051
* 1 Beds / 1 Baths $545,000 ... MLS #: 2813357
* 1 Beds / 1 Baths $549,900 ... MLS #: 2896451
* 1 Beds / 1 Baths $555,000 ... MLS #: 2813144
* 1 Beds / 1 Baths $575,000 ... MLS #: 2813254
* 1 Beds / 1 Baths $589,000 ... MLS #: 2811950
* 1 Beds / 1 Baths $595,000 ... MLS #: 2858251
* 1 Beds / 1 Baths $599,000 ... MLS #: 2813335
* 1 Beds / 1 Baths $671,700 ... MLS #: 2818942
* 1 Beds / 2 Baths $687,500 ... MLS #: 2819174
* 2 Beds / 2 Baths $699,000 ... MLS #: 2879018
* 2 Beds / 2 Baths $699,000 ... MLS #: 2892295
* 2 Beds / 2 Baths $748,900 ... MLS #: 2795553
* 2 Beds / 2 Baths $799,000 ... MLS #: 2749662
* 2 Beds / 2 Baths $879,900 ... MLS #: 2862140
* 2 Beds / 2 Baths $895,000 ... MLS #: 2823662
* 1 Beds / 2 Baths $975,000 ... MLS #: 2890030
* 2 Beds / 2 Baths $995,000 ... MLS #: 2806421
* 1 Beds / 1 Baths $1,050,000 ... MLS #: 2843563
* 2 Beds / 2 Baths $1,195,000 ... MLS #: 2888455

Frank@Scottsdale-Sucks.com said...

Damn, Frank has ruffled some Scottsdale feathers.

LOL ... it's not hard ... Scottsdale people are seriously insecure and they go insane if you expose them for the phonies they are.

Anonymous said...

Third Avenue Lofts was truly ahead of its time in Scottsdale, being one of the first true loft communities in Scottsdale.

That's so true. The prices are about 50 years ahead of their time. That's how long it will take for inflation to catch up to those prices in order for them to be affordable. A two bedroom apartment is worth about $120,000.

Anonymous said...

This place looks like a prison built overlooking an open sewage pit. Perfect for Arizona.

Why not get closer and make diving boards optional?

Blow that place up and bury the rubble. OR make it into a Realtors 'Old Folks Home'. Push one realtor off the balcony (14 story height-minimum) every morning as the NAR flag is raised, just so they may satisfy their taste for fresh human blood and misery so common to their careers.

6% ers are DEAD.

bob said...

Here's the best part!

"Fireplace: Yes, Gas"

Gotta have one of those in Arizona!

It makes the whole thing worthwhile!

Joe Jacari said...

Anonymous said...

"Frank I've lived here since 1984 and I can absolutely say with 100% confidence you are superficial and full of shit- the VAST majority of people who live here are normal."
_____

Ha, ha! Oh, man.

Yeah, you probably think you're normal, too!

Hey 1984, I'd like to walk across the street from those over-priced Scottsdale habitrail hampster condos and sit outside with you at the PF Changs on the corner, near the sewage canal, outside on the patio, where the weather's nice and the wine flows like a cascading waterfall.

Then I'll buy you a nice tall glass of wine, as we watch the poseur chicks with the fake, silicone racks walk by in arrogance.

Then, as the waiter pours your wine into the glass, I will ask you to swish it around, in luxury, and then to take a nice, big deep inhale of the fragrant aroma, and experience the good life of Scottsdale.

And, as you do, the sweet aroma of wine will mix well with the smell of sewage, triggering the involuntary vomit response, as you hurl chunks onto your Chicken A La King.

Then I will stand up and address our fellow patrons, and point to you, telling everyone seated around, "here is another Scottsdale schmuck proffering your the 'soup of the day,' expectorant style. I have supplied some Ritz crackers for you to dig in. He's been here since 1984, so you're getting finely-aged, vintage schmuck chunks."

Then I will gingerly walk across the street to those highbrow condos, as the rich, affluent and elite are having their wine on the balconies of their $1.5M digs, near the sewage plant, and cackle up at them saying, "you look down on me like a common peasant. But I challenge you cowards to take a deep breath of the sewage canal air that you have sold your miserable, fake souls for."

As they, too, begin to vomit, I will say, "you are now brothers and sisters in misery with that wretch named "Anonymous 1984" of Scottsdale.

Partake of the misery you so richly deserve, as reality has manifested itself to you in the bountiful fruits of aromatic excrement that you have so handsomely paid for with your plastic, Scottsdale souls. But then again the worst deluded are the self-deluded."

Ha, ha, haaaa!

Anonymous said...

Good post.

Joe Jacari said...

Anonymous said...

"Frank I've lived here since 1984 and I can absolutely say with 100% confidence you are superficial and full of shit- the VAST majority of people who live here are normal."
_____

Ha, ha! Oh, man.

Yeah, you probably think you're normal, too!

Hey 1984, I'd like to walk across the street from those over-priced Scottsdale habitrail hampster condos and sit outside with you at the PF Changs on the corner, near the sewage canal, outside on the patio, where the weather's nice and the wine flows like a cascading waterfall.

Then I'll buy you a nice tall glass of wine, as we watch the poseur chicks with the fake, silicone racks walk by in arrogance.

Then, as the waiter pours your wine into the glass, I will ask you to swish it around, in luxury, and then to take a nice, big deep inhale of the fragrant aroma, and experience the good life of Scottsdale.

And, as you do, the sweet aroma of wine will mix well with the smell of sewage, triggering the involuntary vomit response, as you hurl chunks onto your Chicken A La King.

Then I will stand up and address our fellow patrons, and point to you, telling everyone seated around, "here is another Scottsdale schmuck proffering your the 'soup of the day,' expectorant style. I have supplied some Ritz crackers for you to dig in. He's been here since 1984, so you're getting finely-aged, vintage schmuck chunks."

Then I will gingerly walk across the street to those highbrow condos, as the rich, affluent and elite are having their wine on the balconies of their $1.5M digs, near the sewage plant, and cackle up at them saying, "you look down on me like a common peasant. But I challenge you cowards to take a deep breath of the sewage canal air that you have sold your miserable, fake souls for."

As they, too, begin to vomit, I will say, "you are now brothers and sisters in misery with that wretch named "Anonymous 1984" of Scottsdale.

Partake of the misery you so richly deserve, as reality has manifested itself to you in the bountiful fruits of aromatic excrement that you have so handsomely paid for with your plastic, Scottsdale souls. But then again the worst deluded are the self-deluded."

Ha, ha, haaaa!

Anonymous said...

WGAT HAPPENED TO THE "UNITS" IN THAT NEIGHBOR HOOD THAT WOULD NOT SELL FOR MONTHS ON END, IN 2003 FOR 35,OOO...2 BEDROOMS 2 BATHS WITH 200 A MONTH MAINTENCE?????

Anonymous said...

SUCKERS ON THE BLOCK......................

Anonymous said...

GOD , TO THINK I DID NOT BUY THAT 2BDR 2 BATH UNIT IN 2002 FOR THE 35,000 BECAUSE I DID NOT WANT TO PAY 200 A MONTH UNRESTRAINABLE MAINTENCE COSTS... IS THAT PENNY WISE, POUND FOOLISH OR WHAT, I WOULD BE IN THE MIDSTS OF "MILLIONAIRES, OF WHICH I THOUGHT THERE WAS 1 PERCENT OF THE POPULATION THAT WERE MILLIONAIRES OR 4,000,000 IN OUR COUNTRY, OR NOT A LOT OF BUYERS FOR THOSE PLACES...YET FROM HEARSAY, ID SAY ALL THE HOUSES WERE GONNA BE MILLION DOLLAR UNITS NEXT YEAR?????????????????//// AND TAXED AND MAINTAINED AT WHAT EXPENSE????

Anonymous said...

BINGO..... WE HAVE FOUND ANOTHER 35,000 DOLLAR MILLIONAIRE, OR WITH INFLATION 45,000 DOLLAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anonymous said...

I don't know, this looks nice to me. And buying houses is the way to quick riches just like Paris Hilton. Housing always goes up. It is like gravity. Well, not quite like gravity, inasmuch as gravity always points down, while housing always points up. But its the same principle you know? It's science. And owning a house is American. Owning is about freedom and liberty. Renting is about slavery. I read this somewhere in a book. People in China rent maybe, but they are godless communists. Jesus wants you to buy. That's what the radio preacher said the other day, in between the ads for liposuction and wealth-building seminars. Also, President Bush wants you to buy, so as to show faith and to Support Our Troops. If you don't buy then you don't support our troops. You a member of Al Qaeda or something? Huh? Well, then buy this condo.

Really as simple as that. Have a nice day.

Anonymous said...

GLAD SOMEBODY COMES BACK TO YESTERDAYS POSTS... JUST REMEMBER SOME OF THE FIRST PEOPLE HITLER DID IN WAS THE CHRONICALY UNEMPLOYED, DRIFTERS BY NECESSITY CALLED GYPSIES AND THEN THE MENTALLY ILL (READ..ANYONE THAT DISAGREED WITH POLICY),BEFORE THE INTELLEGENCIA, AFTER OPPOSING POLITICAL PARTY MEMBERS, AND BEFORE THE jEWS, AFTER ANYONE WITH WEALTH TO BE RIPPED OFF...THUS LETS GIVE A BIG RAH RAH FOR GOVERNMENT!!!!!! ALL YOU BIG INTELLECTS

Anonymous said...

Scottsdale; isn't that where the bimbo mayor called 911 for directions?

"Scottsdale Mayor is lost on 911 use"

Mayor Kathryn "Sam" Campana admits calling 911 about six times since her election in April 1996. She was not calling for medical assistance, however; she was calling for directions to city functions. She did this after failing to get through on non-emergency lines. Since then, she has been given three private telephone lines for use the next time she gets "lost." Her last call came in on August 14th. when the emergency lines were taxed due to a power outage from a storm. She was politely reminded of the use of the 911 network by Police Chief Micheal Heidingsfield.

Frank@Scottsdale-Sucks.com said...

Joe - GREAT post!! It's easy to forget that the definition of "normal" in Scottsdale is much different than in any other city.