May 30, 2007

You can't make this stuff up. Put on lots of protection then watch this mortgage broker ad





Thanks MB again for the link... Although in the end I wish I had never seen this. And yes, this is a real ad from a real firm.

This industry is so disgusting folks, I think "mortgage broker" will soon be seen on the level as "crack dealer", "hooker" and "Bush advisor". Careful - you can get an STD from this ad

62 comments:

Anonymous said...

crack dealer, hooker???.......you are too nice.......

heck soon, they will be compared with politicians, preachers and used car salesmen.....

Anonymous said...

oh my gawd!

and to think this metro-fag-sexual was mixing appletinis a few months ago in buckhead.

1929 WILL be considered a "warm-up depression"

Morgan said...

be sure to check out the guy's myspace page for more.

Here is his myspace page all its glory: http://tinyurl.com/2t9w5l check Kal's party line too: http://tinyurl.com/3appap

My favorite line: "I put the VICE in Financial adVICE"

Are you kidding me?

Anonymous said...

Wow.

While watching that 'thing' my left ear started to itch horribly. I finally realized it was my brain trying to escape.

Anonymous said...

I'm afraid. I'm afraid, Dave. Dave, my mind is going. I can feel it. I can feel it. My mind is going. There is no question about it. I can feel it. I can feel it. I can feel it. I'm a... fraid. Good afternoon, gentlemen. I am a HAL 9000 computer. I became operational at the H.A.L. plant in Urbana, Illinois on the 12th of January 1992. My instructor was Mr. Langley, and he taught me to sing a song. If you'd like to hear it I can sing it for you.

DAISY DAISY..........

Anonymous said...

Speechless

Anonymous said...

He does Greg Swan's loans

Anonymous said...

ha ha ha you losers wish you could get a hottie like that. But I suppose inviting her to your 1 bedroom slum apartment by way of a 1982 Honda doesn't exactly close the deal.

Anonymous said...

everybody was doing it, so I did too! thanks Kal, for hooking me up! Nobody has shown me that much interest in a long time. I owe you big time, thanks!

Anonymous said...

Kal probably makes more in a month than you renting fools make in a year. Jealousy is so ugly.

RJ said...

Need to post this in full -
From John Burns Real Estate Consulting http://www.realestateconsulting.com/usanalysis/usanalysis200705.html

Message to Fed:
Housing is Falling Much Faster than Reported

The housing market has softened much more than is being reported. We have been advising our retainer clients for more than one year about misleading national sales information, both with the Existing Home Sales and New Home Sales data. We are now going public with our concerns because we are concerned that policy makers are relying on national data to conclude that the housing market correction has not been severe.


Here is our support:
Closing Data: We purchase and compile actual home closing data for approximately 181 counties across the country, which captures the counties where about 55% of the U.S. population lives and a significant percentage of all of the counties where the large home builders are active. This data shows that sales have fallen 22% if you compare sales over the last 12 months to the prior 12 months. On a straight year over year comparison, the decline is much more.
Mortgage Bankers Association (MBA) Data: The MBA Seasonally Adjusted Purchase Application Index, which is a measure of the number of people filling out loan applications to buy a home, is down 18% from its peak in September 2005.1 With presumably more applications being filled out by borrowers who now have to shop around for a loan, how could sales have fallen by less than 18%?
Builder Data: The nation's two largest homebuilders, D.R. Horton and Lennar, are reporting that orders have declined 27% to 37%, year-over-year. 2 3 D.R. Horton and Lennar have dropped prices significantly in many markets to generate sales, while the resale market has not. How could their sales have fallen more than the resale market, even if new home communities tend to be in fringe areas?
Realogy Corporation Data: Realogy, which is the parent company of Century 21, Coldwell Banker, and ERA, participated in roughly 1.9 million brokerage related transactions in 2006 compared to 2.3 million in 2005, representing a year-over-year decline of 18% nationwide.4
2005-2006 NAR State Data: The National Association of Realtors state data does show sharp year-over-year corrections in major states: 28% drop in Florida, 24% drop in California, and a 28% drop in Arizona. Our data, however, shows the sales have probably dropped by 34%, 27% and 38%, respectively. The national numbers include some large states where sales volumes have not corrected substantially, such as in Texas and Ohio, but we believe these markets are not very healthy for other reasons. Interestingly, our calculations were tracking very closely with NAR data through 2005, as illustrated above. We did investigate NAR methodology and have found absolutely no reason to believe that the NAR is intentionally misleading anyone, as some have suggested.
New Home Data: The Census Bureau calculation of new home data does not calculate sales net of cancellations, and cancellations are running much higher than normal right now, which is why the sales numbers overestimate actual sales.

The preponderance of evidence shows that the housing market in vibrant areas where home building is prevalent has corrected much more than some people believe it has.

In summary, we believe that the Fed should know that the housing market correction has been quite steep and is also not showing signs of bottoming out, as evidenced by all of the above information, as well as significant additional research we have conducted. While the Fed has far more to consider than housing, they should know that the housing market could sure use some lower interest rates to help achieve stability soon.

Anonymous said...

Great - catch aids and go bankrupt. Can they come over and kick my dog too?

SPECTRE of Deflation said...

Damn Keith, I almost hurled lunch. So this is what we have become. Sad...very sad, but then we always get the politicians and society we deserve.

You young adults out there study the "me generation" for lessons on what not to do in your personal and collective lives. Don't sell your souls for the almighty dollar.
Don't give up quality time with your kids for a nicer car or a bigger house. At the end of your life, your biggest treasures are your families, memories and friendships. The rest is just more shit accumulating dust.

RiperDurian said...

I weep for my species.

Guy Daley said...

Thanks goodness I don't watch TV anymore.

Just had a scary thought. Imagine the people that respond to an ad like that.

Anonymous said...

ha ha ha you losers wish you could get a hottie like that. But I suppose inviting her to your 1 bedroom slum apartment by way of a 1982 Honda doesn't exactly close the deal.

You could close a deal with any (all?) of those girls for $25 and a little toot. No problem.

Scott Hayne said...

Those girls looked like they blocked a kick with their face. At least if you are going to have a trashy unprofessional ad, get some actual attractive women to play the part of the attractive women.

Anonymous said...

I want to spank the one in the blue dress.

Anonymous said...

Was this "commercial" shot before or after the porn soot?

RJ said...

Maybe the words "mortgage, home, loan and mortgage broker" mean something different in Georgia.

az_mtb said...

MUST.....REFINANCE.....

Paul E. Math said...

Dude, if you think those girls are 'hotties' then I feel really sorry for you. Bunch of 3s dressed up as 9s. Either fat, scrawny, cock-eyed or just plain fugly. I wouldn't touch any of them with yours. Oh yeah, the money I save by renting my loft apartment instead of buying leaves me plenty of money for my new Audi, ski vacations, nantucket trips and cab rides home for these girls' hotter friends. Enjoy that mortgage payment, FB.

Anonymous said...

He's a true role model for the mortgage broksters and realtrolls

Anonymous said...

Two words...zipper rot.

chris g said...

"Kal probably makes more in a month than you renting fools make in a year. Jealousy is so ugly."

Hey pinprick anon, that's obviously not the point.

Lawyers who pursue class action lawsuits against companies, for dumping toxic waste into groundwater, will make more money in a year than I'll see in my lifetime. Neurosurgeons who remove brain tumors from kids with cancer also make tons of money. Of course, I don't mind because they actually provide a valuable service to society. On the other hand, the only things Kal provides to society are foreclosure, VD, and incredibly awful commercials. Now go back to your cave, douchebag.

Anonymous said...

Just called the number. It is real.

He's a cool guy. The number forwarded to his cell phone.

He's found a nitch and he is marketing to it.

kitchenstove said...

LOL, the Pussycat Dolls and the Spice Girls have even gotten into the mortage business!!!!

Anonymous said...

My wife didn't believe that this could be real so she called the 800 number (at almost 11:00 pm EDT) and guess what??

Someone picked up saying "Hello, this is Kal!"

The wife? Speechless.

Sean

nelson said...

The stock market is up while broke-ass lying realtors and homedebtors don't have any money to invest. WAAHAAAA

wiserenter said...

Here in Orlando, there's a radio ad that talks about how girls don't like renters! Puh-leeese!!!

Anonymous said...

CNBC segment discussing the latest S&P/Case-Shiller results for March 2007

Case-Shiller Going Negative

http://www.paperdinero.com/BNN.aspx?id=206

CNBC segment discussing the latest S&P/Case-Shiller results for March 2007. Features a short interview with David Blitzer, Chairman of the S&P index committee in which he suggests that “There is no sign that we are at a bottom”. Check out the PaperMoney S&P/Case-Shiller/Futures Tool to better visualize the changes to the CSI indices.

Originally aired on: 5/29/2007 on CNBC

Running Time: 2 minutes 10 seconds

Anonymous said...

Soon he will be saying do you want and STD with that?

Fruit Filling said...

Heh, mortgage brokers have the nerve to be thought of as "professionals". Wait a minute, maybe that's not so unusual: prostitutes do, too....

Anonymous said...

"How can it be wrong when it feels so right?"

Frank@NeverColdCall.com said...

Hmm, looks like an average day in Scottsdale to me.

Thank God I'm out of that hellhole for good. It's such a bizarre twilight zone that people who've never lived there don't even believe true stories about daily life there.

Too bad it sucks so bad, because it's going to be dirt cheap soon after it gets wiped out by foreclosures.

Already, several restaurants are shutting their doors while others are being sold off. Never a good sign, eh?

www.scottsdale-sucks.com

vomited in my mouth said...

"How can it be wrong when it feels so right?"

WTF? Is that a line this guy 'borrowed' from some gay porn film, ALA "Brokeback Mountain"? Is that what Nigel said to Casey about their illicit love? I actually feel nauseous after seeing that video, with the clown in drag....

Much like Casey's "I have no secrets" blogging, I guess we'll find out if the old adage, "there is no such thing as bad publicity" has limits to it. I've seen more than enough of both of these asshats to suspect there ARE limits.

TM said...

Yes, I lost everything in foreclosure, but at least my weenie fell off too.

Frank@NeverColdCall.com said...

Dude, if you think those girls are 'hotties' then I feel really sorry for you. Bunch of 3s dressed up as 9s. Either fat, scrawny, cock-eyed or just plain fugly. I wouldn't touch any of them with yours.

Sounds like Scottsdale, Arizona. Bunch of skanky wannabe hotties - 3s dressed up like 9s - and a bunch of sorry ass loser guys who worship them.

Hmm, is it any surprise that it's also one of the top liar-loan markets? I wonder ... fake girls, fake loans.....

www.scottsdale-sucks.com

SPECTRE of Deflation said...

Anonymous said...
"How can it be wrong when it feels so right?"

The anthem for the "me generation".

Anonymous said...

leaves me plenty of money for my new Audi, ski vacations, nantucket trips and cab rides home

I thought the FB mantra was drive a 1982 Honda and never spend a dime on anything. Keith is going to kick you out of the club for violating the rules.

Anonymous said...

"Kal probably makes more in a month than you renting fools make in a year. Jealousy is so ugly."

See Rachel Dollar's Mortgage Fraud Blog - I would bet this is exactly the type dude who is featured in the many news stories posted there. My guess is that "Kal - like" brokers are going to feel the reach of the long arm of the law sooner rather than later via a zealous local Attorney General's office.

Anonymous said...

I didnt think that they were 3's- probably more 5's or 6. Tarting up a 5 still leaves you with a 5. But they didnt not succeed at all in being sexually enticing.

Nor was there an explanation of why they were twitching when there was a mention of Kal.

This is probably more a statement about cheep ad rates than about the state any particular industry.

Showering Now said...

Words fail...

turdly said...

Hey, he made YOU look, and a couple of you call, and someone even saying he was 'cool'. When was the last time you called a broker for any reason? It appears that for amusement or purpose some of you sheepled out and made the call.

Imagine being up late [possibly drunk/high] because you can't sleep due to the impending foreclosure, all that's on are those obnoxious 'chat room hot girl' ads, and you this. You'd call. You're thinking 'at least this guy is funny, talking with him will probably not be as painfull as the last six turndowns I got from brokers'.

It's tasteless in what we all want to think of as a professional market. It's no more tasteless than a plastic surgeon putting a half page ad of some girls butt in a national magazine.
I find this funny and ripe. I find that people who put that little christian fish emblem in ads almost make me choke. There's a special place in hell [except there is no hell, dammit] for those 'fish folk'. Fish folk are truly the dregs of advertising.

Got 2 ARMs and 2 Feet said...

Talk about shock and awe.

I see that Kal is based in "Hotlanta". I figure he fits right in given the the intellectual demographic.

Anonymous said...

Some people never think out of the box, some people are so far out they can't even see the box from where they are, and some of us weren't stupid enough to buy a box in the first place. I just can't say it enough MADE YOU LOOK [AND CALL], MADE YOU LOOK!!! AND, AND AND, you'll RUN to the TV to see it if you get a chance, AND you'll alert all of your friends. One of those friends will succumb and call.

I hope he makes a mazillion dollars off of this. It's week and skanky and a great parody of the late night 'call me' ads.

Anonymous said...

May 30, 2007 9:30 PM

That was funny!!!

RE is really becoming the cheesiest industry there is. Once the industry has been exploited to the death, well all move on to something else that may make us rich by tomorrow.

Anonymous said...

I see that Kal is based in "Hotlanta". I figure he fits right in given the the intellectual demographic.

Bible thumpers, Rednecks, Peckerwoods, trailer trash, and CRACKERS. When you have some spare time wiki the above terms. It's a real edgeumacation.

Anonymous said...

I meant 'weak and skanky' not 'week and skanky'. Those who are so anal as to just have to correct spellings, back off. Lucidity and a 110 wpm sometimes adds up to a mistake or tow [now that's funny].

turdly said...

christian fish emblems in an advertisement mean; 'I pray you're prey'.

corvinus said...

I thought it was a commercial for one of those silly late-night phone-sex lines.

Lapsed Jew said...

Christian FISH emblem? Is this a Xtian-insider's joke?

turdly said...

lapsed Jew;

Look in your local yellow pages. You'll see a little fish shaped character in some of the display ads, usually in a lower corner. It's Christian code for "hey, I'm a Christian, come do business with me fellow Christian and we'll let all the others starve." It's the same emblem you see on the back of cars, sorta like intertwined parenthesis...sometimes with cryptic scrawl inside.

What special hell must there be for such exploitation of your religion? Thid guy is a saint compared to anyone who uses religion as a business tool.

'go into your closets to pray lest you be known as hypocrits' Jerry Springer said that.

Anonymous said...

I see that Kal is based in "Hotlanta". I figure he fits right in given the the intellectual demographic.

May 31, 2007 4:28 PM

-------------------------------

As opposed to that bastion of learning in New York City, or Los Angeles?

% of population with a college degree:

Atlanta: 42.4% (7th highest in US)
NY: 32.2% (19th highest)
LA: Not in the top 20

http://encarta.msn.com/encnet/Departments/elearning/?article=educatedcities

Some other dumb redneck Southern towns on the list:

Raleigh #3
Lexington #10
Charlotte #12

You pretentious idiot.

PS: Last time anyone said Hotlanta was about 1993. Get with the times amigo.

Anonymous said...

Anonymous said...
ha ha ha you losers wish you could get a hottie like that. But I suppose inviting her to your 1 bedroom slum apartment by way of a 1982 Honda doesn't exactly close the deal.


The source of all financial insolvency - chasing p*ssy. Come one, dude. Girls are superficial but they aren't THAT BAD. A good job, some ambition, a gym membership and a good character will get any girl worth having.

lapsed Jew said...

Aha, sounds a bit like a hechsher (Kosher certification marking). I tell ya, I learn more from this site!

Thanks, turdly.

Anonymous said...

SPECTRE of Deflation said...
Anonymous said...
"How can it be wrong when it feels so right?"

The anthem for the "me generation".

May 31, 2007 11:44 AM

I used to think that while f-ing a blender. Then one day while in the throws of extasy I accidentaly hit the 'liquify' button.

:(

Markus Arelius said...

No way that just happened!

Kal Wayman said...

Kieth,

What I have simply done here is realized a target (niche) market and found a way to relate to it. I respect all of your opinions and comments; however I would like to point out a fact. I just turned 23 when I bought my first home, and guess what.....I am not in arrears and my mortgage is current. And you know what? There are a ton of young successful people that do not know what to do with their money. Lots of them rent, and pay more than what a mortgage would cost them. They have stable careers, 6 figure incomes, are single, and in the (20-39) age group. I know, because I deal with them every day! Well, believe it or not, no one targets them and lets them know what to do financially. Big power houses only target people with net worth's over 1mm+. Mortgage companies have either marketed towards "that suburban family" or "less than perfect credit borrowers"....which the latter is the reason why I believe everyone is so riled up in the first place. Well, I have news; there are young people with good credit that do deserve a home. In no way do I market to sub prime borrowers in this comedy farce, nor in any of my marketing. As a matter of fact, I don't focus on sub prime lending at all. And if a person’s credit is bad, I try to help them fix it so I can get them a non sup prime conventional mortgage or FHA sponsored program. This commercial was meant to be edgy and I have accomplished just that. My marketing slogan is "I'm not your mother’s mortgage broker, but probably your daughters". I have helped hundreds of young successful people buy their first home and they are all still current on their mortgage. I have helped families, and retired individuals as well. And, while the other mortgage broker targets that median age family, and gets their mortgage business for the next 20 or so years, I have young clients business for life. And they do repeat transactions with me. I have found a way to make mortgages easily understandable to my age group and have created an edgy commercial that is not old fashioned. For that I do not believe I should be condemned.



For further clarification on the purpose of my comedy farce... it was meant to be edgy (pushing the envelope of what is socially acceptable)...you either love it or you hate it..... But never the less, it has created an impression...and now you and thousands of others know my name, my number, and what I do. Which is more than most of the 30,000+ other mortgage originators in the US can say. The comedy farce has served its purpose in that sense however I feel it may have been misunderstood. It was produced as a mockery of a "1 900 sex line commercial" and the 30 second ad version actually airs between 12-2am in the morning on the major networks in Atlanta. Its intent was humorous and by no means vigilant. When I do my business is when I exercise my professionalism. I would never air this commercial on the family channel or during day time hours. The only fact that you saw it was because of the power of the World Wide Web. I did not intend for this comedy farce to be viewed outside of its demographic, but I guess you can say it was something of a phenomenon out of my control. I hope that you can see that a book can not be judged by it cover. I simply created one that would make you pick it off the shelf.



Regards,

Kal Wayman

Wonky said...

Hi Kal, I hate to say it, but the image you give from that ad is "sleazebag"--not someone I'd consider doing business with.

Anonymous said...

Good work Kal. I'm in the business also and saw it for what it was. I am Turdly, also Anon May 31, 2007 4:36 PM

A dear comrade once told me 'get right or get left'. It took me days to figure that out. You go it right, the others are getting left out. First everyone bitched that we're ' Mr Drysdale' from the Beverly Hillbillies and just can't relate to real life situations, then when you show some courage and forethought, you're a turd.

I'm sure the defamers here are also dinks [don't thinks] or they surely would of seen the parody, a real relief especially when you consider the newly grave nature of most our phone calls. I've started answering the phone 'good morning foreclosure department' just so I can cut to the chase. If they say 'boy am I glad I got you on the first try", I interupt and politely explain life; no one told your silly pet store clerk ass to buy a second home. No one told you do a heloc to by the Hummer you arrogant bastard. If you didn't understand the docs then, I sure can't trust you understand them this time either.

Tariq said...

Kal and his wacky, sexy, hall of mirrors:

Kal, humbly, aren't you really
Khaliq Achtar Wayman
AKA
Kaliq Khan Akhtar?

http://brokercheck.nasd.com/Search/Search.aspx?PageID=1

Are you one of the two children of Akhtar Sadiq (www.akhtarsadiqforsenator.com) the fundraising machine in Georgia that perpetually runs for senator in Georgia and loses? You bear many similarities to him - involved in many businesses, fuzzy credentials, etc.

Is the Bobby Wilkes that defends you on other blogs related at all to Brent, Robert, and other Wilkes' that were implicated (indicted?) in the Duke Cunningham political money laundering and bribery scandal?

And what about all these titles and shells of corporate entities? Are you the vice-president of First (F1rst) Discount Mortgage as appears on your gotkal.com site? Or the President as you claim in the blogs? How come the contact person on the first discount website, "Jill Retter" has an email "jkagan@f1rstfinancial.com"? Is she Retter or Kagan? Are you Wayman or Achtar or Akhtar?

We are so very confused.