April 11, 2007

Pretend you're a REALTOR trying to convince a potential homedebtor the time to buy is NOW!

What do you say?


Here's a few for starters:

* The fundamentals don't matter! P/E on homes - faggetaboutit!

* Real estate NEVER goes down - only up up and up!

* You better move fast - this one won't stay on the market long!

* The time to buy is now - it's a buyer's market you know!

* We're just going through a lull - this will be over in a matter of weeks, and then to the moon!

* Real estate is ALWAYS your best investment

* We can get you a loan that'll be less per month than you're paying in rent!

* Interest rates are at an all-time low! It's a GREAT time to buy!

(WARNING - THIS THREAD MAY GET A LITTLE ROUGH - NO KIDS OR REALTORS ALLOWED)

67 comments:

GameOver said...

*Here smoke this...its all good.

Anonymous said...

I'd buy a pile of polar bear shit from that hottie.

Pseudo-realtor said...

OK, here goes:

Realtor: "And with every home purchase, we're giving away an autographed copy of David Lereah's latest book, published in 2005, called "Are You Missing The Real Estate Boom?"

Cross your fingers, hoping the buyer doesn't ask if they've ALREADY missed the real estate boom....

Frank said...

She's cute. I'll pretend to be interested in buying if she gets on her knees and ... ya know ...

That's no exaggeration either, it's pretty common actually in Scottsdale, the hellhole I recently escaped from. It happens all the time.

www.scottsdale-sucks.com

Anonymous said...

Who is the ho in the picture? I'd hit it on the kitchen table and then tell her the house is overpriced by 80%.

Anonymous said...

She's cute. I'll pretend to be interested in buying if she gets on her knees and ... ya know ...

LOL.

They could call it BangHouse.

TM said...

Realtor: "Look, it's a buyer's market! See how much cheaper it is now than last year? These prices won't last forever!!!"

Buyer: "Maybe I should wait, then. House might get even cheaper still."

Realtor: "Don't bet on it. This is the first time real estate has lost value in 40 years."

Buyer: "Uh... that's not true."

Realtor: "Absolutely it is. The NAR even said so."

Buyer: "What, do you think I'm 12? I remember back in--"

Realtor; "Look at me! I'm cute!"

Realtor: "

Anonymous said...

If I were a realtor, I would kill myself.

Anonymous said...

I used to hit that in my filthy rental every weekend. She loved the degradation and humiliation of it. Lots of Realtors do. It's just like the bossy executive who wants to be put in her place after work.

Unfortunately one day she saw my stash of gold coins and lost all interest as she realized I wasn't broke.

Anonymous said...

"That's no exaggeration either, it's pretty common actually in Scottsdale, the hellhole I recently escaped from. It happens all the time."

I think we'd all be interested in hearing some of those stories. Keith, please go light on the moderation for this one.

Cate said...

* You better move fast - this one won't stay on the market long!

This is one of my favorites. I still see this in real estate listings all the time. It's even funnier when the listing is still active 7 months later.

I live in an area that pretty much survives on the local Air Force base. Sometime next year about 2,000 more service people are slated to be assigned to this base due to BRAC reassignment. Local realtors have been trying to use this as a ploy to con people into buying houses by telling them that when the reassignment happens, there won't be enough housing available and prices will skyrocket. They seem to forget about base housing.

Anonymous said...

GOTTA MAKE THE DONUTS!

Friggen indebted working drones.

All work and no play makes for a miserable existence.

Goota pay the monthly slave bills. Which one ya gonna juggle or skip this month?

Anonymous said...

'Real estate never goes down - but I do for 6%!'

Hip-Anonymous said...

hey i've been looking to sublet a space for a new biz i'm trying to put together. I had one RE office avail but the zoning did not work, however the RE office is closing and moving to a samller space - down from 40 agents to a handful.

spoke to the landlord of a second building, he had nothing available as of now, but he told me a RE office was most likely going to close and to check back in a month.

my sister works with a gal that became a realtor last year, this summer she ook a job at the local water park for $7 hr - things must be sloooooow.

anybody see similar?

Anonymous said...

Ohh...KAY!

Yeah, I really wouldn't know what to say to a prospective buyer? I mean virtually all of their BS has proven to be exactly that. I guess the only thing you "could" say is that;

Yes, there was a housing bubble.

Yes, it's probably going to go down a lot (a little) further.

However, we've started "our" correction WAY earlier! In LV, PHX, SD or_____. I'm willing to bet if you put in a lowball offer to get the negotiation started I'm confident the seller will make it worth your effort.

Other than that all I could think of is "have you seen some of the rentals on our web-site?"

DinOR

RiperDurian said...

Realtor: "Real estate is always a great investment, 2006 was the third best year ever!"

Buyer: "What else could the first year of the downturn be just after the peak of the biggest bubble in house prices in the history of mankind?"

Realtor: "Huh?"

Buyer: "And 2007 will be the 9th best year ever, 2008 will be the 17th best year ever, 2009 will be the 41st best year ever..."

Realtor: "Look at me I'm cute!"

Anonymous said...

First question - any reality pr0n sites about Realtors earning their commissions? Maybe it's time for HPers to start one up.

Second - who is that? We'll pass the plate and get her lined up for the first shoot once the NAR can no longer spin away the meltdown.

cow_tipping said...

Do me now, or be priced out for ever.
Cool.
Cow_tipping.

Anonymous said...

Neuhart: Subprime woes keep pressing on housing forecasts
Wachovia economist Phillip Neuhart says just about everyone's been revising their housing forecasts downward, and the subprime meltdown is to blame. Late last year "we knew that credit problems were on the rise, but many, including ourselves, did not expect the subprime market to be as bad as it's gotten," Neuhart says.

http://www.marketwatch.com/tvradio/player.asp?guid={2085CDD6-B76C-4FB8-B493-41CA9BDFD983}

Anonymous said...

C'mon... pull my finger!

*Pffftt*

Heh Heh Heh...

(Typical real estate agent humor)

Doktaire said...

And remember you are a nobody if you don't "own". You must own at all costs to avoid being a loser.

Darnell said...

Realtor: This is a prime property in a great neighborhood with excellent schools and is only minutes away from shopping, recreation and major transportation arteries. It won't stay on the market long. And,,,, rates are very low but the Fed is likely to raise them very soon.

Buyer: Yeah, but this house sold in August 2006 for $219,000 less than they are asking now what gives?

Realtor: They have made substantial upgrades to the property, and once this hits MLS it will be gone in hours!

Buyer: But I looked at this house last year when it was for sale then. It sure looks a lot like it did then. What exactly did they do?

Realtor (unbuttoning the top button on her blouse...): Well, they *did* put a waterbed in the bedroom. And if I close this deal my new DD boob job will be paid off. Any more questions........

John Holmes said...

There was a porn movie that came out last year, themed after "Desperate Housewives", where one of the ladies was a married realtor and would screw clients to get them to buy homes.

dthtoboomers said...

and take a look right down here, the carpet even matches the curtains...

Curly_Shorthairs said...

Houses are the new Viagra, up up and away.

pseudo-realtor said...

Buyer: "And what experience do you have in real estate?"

Realtor: "Like a record number of individuals last year, I ALSO earned my real estate license.

Furthermore, I have these reading glasses balanced on my head, making me look really smart!"

Anonymous said...

Damn Kieth,"Faggetaboutit"?Dude Gay Community Feels no Unity,as Al Sharkton would say.You know the worlds a big assed mess when Don Imus gets canned for saying HO,Nappy,and ASS. The decision was made when GM ,and others decided to pull their ads.Oh well,Say "nappy ass ho" onah Radio,and yo ass is gone.Lie thru yo teef bout ReaState ,and yo ass be gettin a bonus YO!
Juss go da sho dat GeeElm be mo concern bout sellin Excalades n shizzle.You feeelin me dog?CBS dun cayah no way no how,day jus wantsa keep Gee elm happa.
That Babe onna pixture fo da fred is sum kina Hot,She gonna do well no madda wut.I wants dat.
SHAKSTER-

FlyingMonkeyWarrior said...

"It has good bones".

Ugh

That was the Real Estate Clerk's catch phrase here in Orlando when they were selling any old POS.

Anonymous said...

A crusty old man walks into a real estate office and says to an female agent,
"I want to sell my god damn house."

To which the astonished female agent replies, "I beg your pardon,
sir; I must have misunderstood you. What did you say?"

"Listen up, damn it. I said I want to sell my fucking house!"

"I'm very sorry sir, but we do not tolerate that kind of
language in this office."

So saying, the agent goes over to the officer broker to tell him about her situation. They both
return and the broker asks the old geezer, "What seems to
be the problem here?"

"There's no damn problem," the man says, "I want to sell my fucking million dollar home."

"I see," says the manager, "and this bitch is giving
you a hard time?"

Anonymous said...

Here you go Keith!!!!

Vote on cnbc.com



Should the government bail out subprime borrowers?

Anonymous said...

I think you horny boys need to get out more often...

Anyway, it seems like this week more than ever, people are moving past denial into the fear range.

Don't you agree?

house of pain said...

Fed Minutes Say Rate Increases May `Prove Necessary' (Update3)

By Scott Lanman

April 11 (Bloomberg) -- Federal Reserve officials concluded last month that higher interest rates could still be needed even as they removed a reference in their policy statement to tighter credit.

``Further policy firming might prove necessary to foster lower inflation,'' the Fed said in minutes of the Open Market Committee's March 20-21 meeting, released today in Washington. ``But in light of the increased uncertainty about the outlook for both growth and inflation, the committee also agreed that the statement should no longer cite only the possibility of further firming.''

http://www.bloomberg.com/apps/news?pid=20601103&sid=aj1pn8.gVwVQ&refer=news

nappy headed ho said...

"If you can not afford to buy and have no down payment, I will give you a lease purchase with 8% per year increase payable to me, because housing appreciates 8% per year".
signed,
Fliptard

RE.Agent said...

Who needs to pretend? It's a new paradigm, and everybody who doesn't buy, now, will be priced out forever. Anybody who does buy will be rewarded with a lifetime of riches, as their property will continue its 30% yearly price increase.

Renters, and anybody born in a future generation, will not be able to afford a $10,000,000 starter home in 15 years. They will live in tent cities, and Hondas.

This asset bubble is different than all of the others - it will never slow down, or pop. The gains are permanent.

Anonymous said...

Wow!!!

BABEOLICIOUS!!!

The good news is that girls like her will soon have to work at places called "Suds n Jugs", "Knockers", and "Floppies".

During a downturn/recession the quality of "entertainment" goes up.

Anonymous said...

NO BullS**T sportsfans!!!

This morning April 11 9am

A realtor who snubbed my wife and myself, called this morn to inform us that a home we inquired about a few months ago........is still available! Shocking!

He informed us that we should consider buying soon because the price is possibly going up!

He said, 'that there is No bubble in the Dallas area', like in the So Cal area. True as it may be, he sure was pushing the sale pretty hard!!!

Things must be slow in Dallas!

Oh, as to the snub, my wife informed him that we were 'looking to steal something'! We never heard from him again....until this morn!

Things are obviously slow in Dallas!!!

Anonymous said...

Hey renters, the bailout is coming. I told you so, I told you so. You were wrong I was right. The great crash is never going to happen not with your pals the Democrats in charge and refinancing all the toxic loans for the poor "victims".


U.S. Housing Aid Needed, Schumer Says

WASHINGTON — Amid new signs that the housing slump is worsening, key Senate Democrats said Wednesday that hundreds of millions of dollars of new federal aid may be needed to assist homeowners at risk of foreclosure.

The call for federal involvement from New York Democrat Charles Schumer, chairman of the Joint Economic Committee, came on the same day the National Association of Realtors forecast that the median price for existing homes will decline for the first time since 1968 as a sales slump worsens.

"We will be proposing significant amounts of dollars," Schumer told reporters after being asked if a large federal bailout may be needed. "We've heard one heartbreaking story after another of borrowers with limited incomes being sold mortgages they could not afford," Sen. Sherrod Brown, D-Ohio, said at a briefing on Capitol Hill.

Sen. Christopher Dodd, D-Conn, said he would call for a summit on Capitol Hill soon "to try to work out a process for providing relief to homeowners." With 1.8 million adjustable rate mortgages resetting to higher rates this year and next, foreclosures are sure to continue rising, the 32-page report from the Joint Economic Committee said. Areas hardest hit by foreclosures include Atlanta, Indianapolis, Denver, Dallas and Detroit, the report said.

The Federal Housing Administration could be revamped to refinance mortgages in danger of default, the JEC's report said, citing a proposal by a Harvard professor under which the housing agency could oversee a "rescue fund" that would restructure failed or failing mortgages. Aid could also be provided to community organizations or banks that work with borrowers to refinance loans.

"We'd like to do something very quickly," Schumer said. "These statistics are new and they're startling." Activist and community groups are stepping up efforts to aid homeowners affected by the housing market's woes. They argue that banks and mortgage brokers _ not borrowers _ bear most of the blame for the industry's problems.

Rising delinquencies and defaults among borrowers have resulted in more than two dozen so-called subprime lenders going out of business, moving into bankruptcy protection or putting themselves up for sale.
"We want to send out hope to the victims of the subprime lending crisis," said Bruce Marks, NACA's chief executive. "There is hope if you are about to lose your house."

Anonymous said...

Why is her thumb all big and red like that ??

Anonymous said...

is this the only way you losers can get laid? gawd how pathetic

Veronica Lodge said...

Re: How to lie your ass off, Realtor style.

At first, I thought that this was an April Fool's joke, what with its being dated April 1, 2007. But, here it remains 10 days later. From the heart of the California real estate meltdown, Sacramento Realtor Jimmy Castro has lying down pat, with all of the bases covered:

"Right now, the housing market offers buyers a real window of opportunity. Not only have prices stabilized at attractive levels, but there's generally a wider selection of well-priced homes to choose from. In addition, there is an unprecedented array of low-rate mortgages available to finance a home purchase, including loan programs that require no down payment. The market climate for finding and affording that dream home may never again be this favorable."

"Disproving last year's forecasts of rising interest rates, mortgage rates have remained historically low. So far this year, the benchmark 30-year fixed rate loan has hovered in the very affordable six-percent range. Current rates are in sharp contrast to prevailing rates in the double digits in the mid-1990s and nearly 18% back in the early 1980s."

"Driving affordability also, is the virtual explosion of new mortgage products that have spiked the rate of homeownership to record levels over the past decade. From adjustable rate mortgages that offer rock-bottom interest rates for the initial years of the loan to interest-only mortgages and no-money-down loan programs, for qualified buyers there seemingly is a mortgage for virtually any financial need."

"As for overall trends impacting home sales, the outlook could hardly be more encouraging. A healthy U.S. economy continues to grow jobs, and consumer confidence is on the rise. The nation's growing household wealth should continue to spur home sales, as increasingly affluent homeowners are more likely to trade up and buy second homes."

"Real estate activity has picked up in the last few months and we expect the pace of home sales to quicken even more as the traditionally busy spring market gains steam. Given this uptick in activity, making a home purchase sooner in 2007 rather than later may well prove to be the savviest financial move you could make this year."

"If you are thinking about making a move: - Anticipate what is happening in the market right now. We are at the bottom of this market cycle and rates are low...It's a perfect time to buy!"

stuckinthecity said...

oh boy....

Schumer calls for subprime bailout
New York Democrat wants funds to help subprime borrowers.


The cash infusion is needed right away and should go to both help fund community groups aiding troubled borrowers and to directly fund bailouts, Schumer said.

-------------

So, not only is my tax money going to help fools that did not see the bubble bursting, it's also going directly to Jesse Jackson et al?????????

Cmon!

Doktaire said...

Wow, that Jimmy Castro quote is truly terrifying. What if that was your only source of information. Shouldn't that kind of misrepresentation be illegal?

KitchenStove said...

I would tell them the house comes with a lifetime supply of Top Ramen.

As a side note, when I was in college, one of my friends developed a way to make Ramen that tasted pretty good.

You add an egg to the Ramen while it's boiling in the pot. The egg breaks up into a bunch of pieces like in an Egg Drop Soup. Then you remove it all from the water and add some soy sauce. Then add in a little hot sauce if you like, but usually the spice in the packet is hot enough. You can also add some garlic salt and a little butter or olive oil. You might get sick later, but it was darn tasty.

If you look on the web there are actually a lot of fantastic and interesting things you can do with Top Ramen.

Maybe it won't be so bad to only have Ramen left after the dust settles.

Anonymous said...

Politicans privatizing the profits socializing the losses, to the detriment of the have nots and savers is money and control and power in their pockets and the pockets of their corporate controllers, scam rip offs all and all, and they will be needed again, to rectify the problems they create, meaning more power, controll and money in their pockets and the pockets of those they puppet for and create "Law" to benefit, same old, same old, on and on

Anonymous said...

look to the local weasels and their researchers paid more than the projects they intend to build, to research, and litigate and facilitate the rape of the communitys, literaly and figuratively, and the contracts of maintenances, forever bleedings with cost of living adjustments, that include taxes, just scam after scam after scam, and the real criminals are in jails???

Anonymous said...

perhaps this internet is not realy a place to free post somewhat free speach unregulated un threatened??????????????/

Anonymous said...

no money for antigovernment shills, nee trollers

Richard M. Johnston, Realtor said...

Most people become wealthy because of real estate.

Does anybody own a property here on HousingPanic except me? If you do and you speak to the contrary, then...well...you know what you are.

HousingPanic should change its name to "HousingJealous."

This remind me of a guy who's been calling me the past year telling me he's going to buy a home. Funny thing is, he's always talking about his friends who bought homes 5-7 years ago and he did not. He figured spending all his money on himself and girls would be a better investment.

He's constantly telling me, "My friend just bought a Hummer. They just remodeled their house. They spend 2 months traveling Europe."

Mmmmm.....

I would bet he's a regular contributor to this blog.

Anonymous said...

The product of unbridled greed by all parties at the settlement table:

http://www.usatoday.com/money/economy/housing/2007-04-12-foreclose-cover-usat_N.htm

Anonymous said...

To suckinthecity:

C'mon what? What did you expect when you voted for Democrats? Higher taxes and a massive bailout of housing...gee the Democrats are doing all that? I'm absolutely stunned!!! Nobody predicted that would happen.

Some asshole Congressman sent IMs to his page, you all had a hissy fit, voted in socialists and now we wend up with a trillion dollar bailout.

Good job everyone.

Anonymous said...

If RE only goes up, up, and up, then I'm holding out as long as I can so I can spend as much as I can.

showmenouns said...

First and most important:

Get perky. Get those glasses up in your hair, get that thumb in the air. Smile, polish up those cliches "Susanne researched it". Don't forget to speak with authority.

Anonymous said...

Who needs to pretend? It's a new paradigm, and everybody who doesn't buy, now, will be priced out forever. Anybody who does buy will be rewarded with a lifetime of riches, as their property will continue its 30% yearly price increase.

Renters, and anybody born in a future generation, will not be able to afford a $10,000,000 starter home in 15 years. They will live in tent cities, and Hondas.

This asset bubble is different than all of the others - it will never slow down, or pop. The gains are permanent.


Bawahahaahahaha. Thank you. I haven't seen this for a while. One of my favorites.

Agent #777 said...

"FlyingMonkeyWarrior said...

"It has good bones".

Ugh

That was the Real Estate Clerk's catch phrase here in Orlando when they were selling any old POS."

Dude, you gotta be kidding me!! Are you talking about a very nice black couple in their late 30s or so who were both Realtors and also own some properties? If so, small world! I used to work with that guy, and he used to say that about half of the houses we talked about!

Anonymous said...

Live in Scottsdale. I saw many chicks like that very desperate, willing to do everything just to close the deal. She will do you and even buy a dinner. LOL.

a little more kool-aid please said...

You think that's bad, wait until the Demos put that skirt in the white house, I urge everyone to register as a Demo to vote for anyone else but Hillary in the primary and then you can still vote how you want in the general election. I have a great idea for Schumer and his Demo buddies while we're at it why don't we just bail out anyone who has ever lost any money at any casino in this country that would make as much sense as what they are talking about doing.

Anonymous said...

'Hey renters, the bailout is coming. I told you so, I told you so. You were wrong I was right. The great crash is never going to happen not with your pals the Democrats in charge and refinancing all the toxic loans for the poor "victims".'

Let 'em try it. We all know the only place they can get the money is the printing press.

Of course in a few years you'll be trolling with "I sold my house at the peak and bought gold, you were wrong, I was right, etc"

Anonymous said...

"So, not only is my tax money going to help fools that did not see the bubble bursting, it's also going directly to Jesse Jackson et al?????????"

Hike taxes in the middle of an imploding housing bubble? That'll go over well. Hell, it might be the only way they can make sure the Republitards get elected again. And being Dems, they're probably dumb enough to bring it off.

Out at the peak said...

Oh man, today I couldn't get out of my drive way without running into a "I'm a Realtor." She was door knocking on my street. I tried to give her the cold shoulder as much as possible without starting the housing bubble debate.

Doktaire said...

I honestly think there should be some kind of regulation of how you can own houses. They are a necessity, as basic as food or water. We wouldn't allow people to hoard up all the food, hoping to "flip" it for big bucks. In the same way we should not allow houses to be used as speculative tokens, let these greedy pigs use tulips if they want to do that. I suggest ever more severe penalties for owning homes in which noone actuall lives and put a stop this nonsense once and for all.

Doktaire said...

In response to Johnson, "Realtor", is that how you sell houses to people, by telling them they are just jealous? You piece of scum.

Anonymous said...

FYI his name is Schmuck Schumer. But don't worry not a single dollar (USD) for the bail out will come out of his pocket. He is not that sympathetic.

Anonymous said...

just got this email from my zip realty, laughed when i read it.

Hello XXXXXX,

I just wanted to say hello and hope that 2007 is treating you well so far.

I would also like to take this opportunity to share some thoughts with you.

You may be aware that housing prices have stabilized and don’t appear to be dropping any further. In fact, some areas have experienced a 10% increase over last year’s prices. Interest rates are still at a 30 year low.

Based on this information, now is a great time to purchase a home, even to sell one.

I am still seeing some homes getting multiple offers. If the home looks great and is priced right, it will sell quickly and possibly for above the asking price. Therefore, if one sees a property they really like, they should act quickly and make their best offer, before they regret not taking any action on the opportunity.

Some people are thinking that a “Short Sale” or Foreclosure home will be a better deal than the other homes on the market. However, please note that today, banks are selling the homes for market prices. I have seen people lose out on those homes, due thinking they can get the home for a “steal” and not writing a strong enough offer.

Should you see a home that you would be interested in, please feel free to contact me via telephone or e-mail. I will be more than happy to walk you through the entire process and help you achieve your housing goals and dreams.

Thank you for allowing me to be of service.


Matthew Dugan
REALTOR (R)
ZipRealty, Inc.
Licensed in California
matthew.dugan@ziprealty.com
Toll Free: 1.800 CALL ZIP x8208
Cell: 310.493.1739
Fax: 866.630.9821
My Profile: http://www.ziprealty.com/agent/mdugan

Smugbastard2007 said...

Richard Jonhston, I own several properties, the 2 in Southern California I sold at the peak.
I am an IT Director making good stable $cratch. All I got to say it must suck to be you right now. All those properties you own and a career in such an unstable, declininig, dead industry. You are right in the epicenter of this shit. Good luck to you sir. I hope that income from those home you own go a long way because this thing just started.

Anonymous said...

I suggest all the HP winged monkeys pay a visit to Sir Richard Johnston's Realty CLerk blogs. Click on his name to see his profile and blogs. Let the attack begin. While you are at it, go ahead and let his employer and co-workers now what a douchebag he is : http://www.ontheboulevard.com/Default.asp?

Anonymous said...

Anonymous said...
'Hey renters, the bailout is coming. I told you so, I told you so. You were wrong I was right. The great crash is never going to happen not with your pals the Democrats in charge and refinancing all the toxic loans for the poor "victims".'

Let 'em try it. We all know the only place they can get the money is the printing press.

Of course in a few years you'll be trolling with "I sold my house at the peak and bought gold, you were wrong, I was right, etc"

April 12, 2007 5:36 PM


No asshole, I predicted a bailout on this blog numerous times. Each time morons like you said oh no that can't possibly happen. So indeed I was RIGHT and you were dead fucking WRONG.

How's that November vote for the Democraps going so far for you? Was it all worth it because some congressman sent IMs to his page? HUH? You had to have your hissy fit and vote out the big bad evil Republicans.

Good job!! And hey we're only 3 months into their 2 year term, I can't wait to see what else they come up with. Bailout for anyone who lost their wallet? Bailout for anyone who missed out on the 2for1 coupon at McDonald's?

Keep voting for those communist pieces of filth asshole, this country isn't dead quite yet, the Dems needs your help to finally kill it off.

Anonymous said...

The young Hot realtor chicks can get work at Hooters, or Jug n Suds
or Ta Ta's Tacos......

The older hags can dance at stretch marks or mop out the coin booths at the local porn store!