Here's a few for starters:
* Self-imposed financial slavery (thanks to a HP'er for that one!)
* The worst financial mistake I could have ever made
* I got dot-condoed in DC
* House-poor and getting poorer every day
* Even Suzanne thinks I'm an idiot
* I got Swanndled in Scottsdale
* Leverage sucks on the way down
* What was I thinking?
* Where did all the buyers go?
* What doesn't anyone live here?
* Where are the wine and cheese parties and models I was promised?
* I paid $800,000 for an apartment? F*ck. I am a fool.