November 27, 2006

Oh dear god I can't stop watching this car crash! Suzanne researched this!


That's not the point.
What is the point?
What?
I loved that house.
Plus the schools.
The kids are three and one
They're gonna grow up
What?
Suzanne researched this!
This listing is special John, you guys can do this!
OK
Are you kidding?
This is awesome!
Did you see the size of that garage?
Yes!
Oh, that's great! Now let me get to work!

40 comments:

Anonymous said...

*sound of whip cracking*

Anonymous said...

Like a fine wine it gets even better with age

Anonymous said...

B*tch!

AnalysisGuy said...

I just released my report on Orange County
Daily Home Price Analysis

kilobar said...

That ad makes me want to hurl.

Anonymous said...

Gawd..!#!*!!
That ad...please stop.. STOP PLEASE!
I just had a big supper and I'm about to lose it!

Anonymous said...

Oh there's no place like home for the holidays!!! Just state your income and it's all yours.

Bukie said...

Every tv ad run by the Realtwhores® is cheesier than the one before. If anyone who saw one would stop to think for even one d*%n minute they would realize that is some stupid $#^t. Stupid, stupid $#^t. Listen to you Realtwhore®, they are smart. Friggin' !@#$%^&*()!!!!!

Anonymous said...

Suzanne said they'll even throw in a pizza for free !!

suzanne researched it... said...

This clip is a timeless classic. "WTF" will be running through her clients minds right about now based on that commerical. A real testament to stupidity.

Suzanne's PR Person said...

Suzanne researched this, and her conclusion is "We're fooked!!!"

Suzanne's Life Coach and New Age Shrink said...

Suzanne is researching a new career: foreclosure counselor.

If you're in up to your hairplugs, it's always a great time to sell! Suzanne will charge you $1000 to tell you to sell, and her partner realtor will take another 6% (from which Suzanne will get an additional 1% referral). What could be a better deal than that?!

Anonymous said...

I haven't seen such cheesy garbage in a long time -- and I go dumpster diving every week at my local Velveeta plant!

Shakster said...

Know what's cool? Driving around town looking at all the houses for sale,noticing the ones that have been sitting the longest.Then taking note of all the new "for rent" homes out there.then checking the height of the weeds growing up around numerous houses that either have had their for sale signs removed or the weather knocked them over.Did Suuzanne mention this? Really is fun.

Paul E. Math said...

Just like Adam and Eve.

"The Serpent research this!"

"This apple is special, Adam, you guys can eat this."

"OK"

"Are you kidding? This is awesome!"

"Did you see how red it was?"

"Oh, that's great! Now let me go falsify our application and bury us in debt!"

Anonymous said...

lol, paul e.math - I think that's about the most insightful perspective anyone's offered on this ad.

WhiteTower said...

To all the gutless wonders out there who caved like the limp-dick in the commercial -- you deserve foreclosure and bankruptcy.

Dave Barnes said...

Maybe TV stations could run this as a public-service announcement.

Anonymous said...

WOO WOO !!!

Suzanne is probably not returning any calls, the ARM has just reset, and that couple is in the middle of a custody battle right about now.

Anonymous said...

That was an ad for a divorce lawyer, right?

dan said...

La Times ran a story on El Cerrito CA and its continued housing boom. I did a little research and found that a whopping 8 homes have been sold in El Cerrito in Nov (25 in Nov) and sure enough the median home value skyrocketed 40%. Incomplete Nov numbers and the very small number of units sold produced these wildly fluctuating median home prices but the LA Times dutifully spun the yarn for the IRC.

Dave said...

Pure EVIL!

Let's see where to begin the fun!

Fat boy could never get the girl with bad hair. That's why his name is "John". ROTFL!

Neither can afford to wash the t-shirts they borrowed.

They are stupid enough to reproduce without laundry money for t-shirts!

Then they delusionally believe they can "buy" their way into "good" schools for their pathetic spawn by joining other pathetics in some alternate bitch-o-centric kid-step-up school district.

Oh BABY GIVE ME THAT BIG GARAGE OHOHOH!!!!!!!

(God, please, just keep that OFF TV, Pleeeeeeeeeeassssssseee!)

Losers lose winners win that's the cold world that we're in.........

Cornholio Mangus said...

In the history of this country, there has never been a better time for a man to be unmarried.

Conversely, there has never been a worse time to have to put up with a nagging c**t like the wife in that ad.

I ain't never getting married.
It's good to be the King (of me).

I heart Suzanne said...

While watching that I had the feeling that fat boy was once in good shape, but took to eating compulsively to deal with the stress of being married to a wench like that.

More Doritos? yes please.

Gallon of pickles from Walmart? yes please.

Ben and Jerry's? OH YES PLEASE!

I wonder if Suzanne is working as a perfume counter spritzer at Macy's for the holidays....

Anonymous said...

Is this before or after he begged his parents to HELP him buy a house ?

Anonymous said...

I hope fat boy got some play that night, because that'll be his only benefit to buying into the peak of a bubble.

But never fear, with the ARM reset and coming recession, he is likely to get screwed in a big way every single day.

bub said...

Nice back story about "fat boy" guys.

But.......you do know this is just a commercial right?

honica jewinski said...

You guys have heard me say castrated white male before. Well, this guy is the poster boy. Getting bullied and beat down by two irrational females, he is the visual incarnate of tabasco or rhoid.

Anonymous said...

Cornholio Mangus said...
In the history of this country, there has never been a better time for a man to be unmarried.

Conversely, there has never been a worse time to have to put up with a nagging c**t like the wife in that ad.

I ain't never getting married.
It's good to be the King (of me).

Amen to that. I put up with that kind of crap on a near daily basis for over two decades and it really got bad toward the last five years. Being married to that kind of woman as depicted was the most unsatisfying and draining experience of my life - head and shoulders above every other bad experience I've ever had. Not quite as bad but, when it finally ended and all the ties were cut, I felt like a prison sentence had been completed! HA!

Smug Bastard

Anonymous said...

I am completely fed up with the typical American woman!

When I see all these disgustingly obese, shallow, superficial, self-centered, materialistic, tattooed women out & about, with a cell phone glued to one ear, it makes me want to get down on my hands and knees to thank God that I am not married.

$25 BJ anyday said...

Cornholio - you are right. A single man can save and do what he wants. I am reloading hundreds of rounds of ammo lately and getting very proficient at shooting.

Those poor b@stards who have been nagged into the house trap, including the BABY - well they are hosed. The laws are against the man in a relationship. That woman and HER baby will be protected by the courts and the man will be in jail if he doesn't pay her.

Not me.

Anonymous said...

It's sick how the modern, liberal world has virtually castrated the males, and twisted/distorted females into a role they don't belong in.

Because of TV and pop culture, men are told to be undisciplined, unprincipled, lazy, superficial, dolts. Women are supposed to be smart, prudent, planning ahead, motivated, ambitious, etc.

No wonder people conclude they should be in charge! Heck, whoever lives primarily by their REASON (mind) rather than their passions/emotions belongs in charge.

That's why men are supposed to be in charge -- but nowadays men exhibit few of the virtues listed above (living by reason, prudent, etc.)

Anonymous said...

Anonymous said...
It's sick how the modern, liberal world has virtually castrated the males, and twisted/distorted females into a role they don't belong in.

Because of TV and pop culture, men are told to be undisciplined, unprincipled, lazy, superficial, dolts. Women are supposed to be smart, prudent, planning ahead, motivated, ambitious, etc.

That is the hypocrisy of it all – in most cases the virtues you’ve written about attributed to women are in word only but, when the rubber meets the road and they are supposed to follow through, they find some lame excuse as to why they can’t follow reason or logic. How do you think Oprah and Geraldo got so big? – hell, Geraldo even says it in his commercials “emotions are a big part of who I am and I am not ashamed of that” to loosely quote him. Who do you suppose that message is directed toward? And Oprah, don’t even get started on that “vagina power” show. It’s all just one big load of crap that suckers in a gender that can’t really function within the limits of logic and reason when the chips are down. They blow smoke up each others assess about how prudent, smart, forward thinking, ambitious, etc., etc. they are but in the end, it just turns into one big “Hallmark Hall of Fame Special” with “emotions running high”. What total and utter bullshit. I’ve said it here before, what this country needs is a few more Mr. Spock types (IMHO).

Smug Bastard

BubbleShanker said...

"Because Life Changes"

Yea, Fat A$$ is now upside down and trapped in a debt box with no way out.

He should divorce her, take the 50k loss, and move on with his life, he should try to get custody of the two kids as well, the mother is clearly insane.

Anonymous said...

If you listen closely at the end of the tape, you can hear the woman doing the "monkey snatches peach" ninja move on the dude. She will have a nice little ornament to put on the mantle in the new "home" and if fat boy is good, she might let him have them back on the weekends (after his chores are done).

HAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAAHAHHAHAHA!

marin_explorer said...

Classic. Such an ironic parody of the impulsive homebuyer, and anyone with a brain will see past that. Personally, I'd fire the agency that pitched that cynical piece.

"...this is not my beautiful wife"
--Byrne

Yep, there's a few b*tches out there, but guess what--there's a lot of guys who don't know better. I've concluded that until guys get their act together, women are going to use them that way.

Anonymous said...

If I had to marry an American woman, I never would have gotten married.

If I wanted to get married to an American woman, I'd move the bitch to Saudi Arabia where I could keep her imprisoned in the house as a pet. And if she did not obey me, I'd have her flogged by the morals police!

Here kitty, kitty, kitty!

Anonymous said...

I come here just for the nihilism.

Soooo satisfying....

Anonymous said...

Quoth BTO:

"American woman, stay away from me..."

HONICA JEWINSKI said...

Anon 3:10:06....LMMFAO!!!!!!!!!!!!