For the third straight month, sales on preexisting homes dropped, leading realtors to call it a "buyer's market." Here are some strategies sellers are using to entice buyers:
Dropping price by 50 bucks
Carrying around wad of money; acting like owning this house got them that money
Pointing out dishwasher several times
Explaining to potential buyers how fulfilling it is to make mortgage payment on time
Telling long, touching story about how grandmother needs $312,500 for kidney operation
Letting third blouse button go
Drowning out sound of noisy furnace with soulful vocals of Michael McDonald
Reassuring buyers that people purchase things they can't afford all the time
September 20, 2006
Post-bubble home seller strategies from The Onion
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15 comments:
No matter how you cut it........
it stinks!
TRY THE FOURTH BLOUSE BUTTON....
THEN THE LET THE SKIRT DROP...THEN LET'S SEE THAT THONG SLIDE OFF
OOOOHHH YEEEaaaaahhhhh!
Yeah think now of an OPEN HOUSE as a BOOTY CALL.
All the resale homes in my neighborhood save two have sold and people moved in. When I left a month ago on vacation there were ten for sale within ten blocks.
I was surprised since most of these homes sell from $390-500,000. Of course this is Austin and prices here are easily a 1/3 of every where else that is desirable to live for an equivilant home.
And if Bernake is the KING of FIAT money and decides to inflate us out of this mess, who knows, those who own may end up looking smart.
Don't get me wrong, sometimes renting looks appealing to me even though it would cost me more than my mortgage but it seems nice at times to be in a position to say, "X@)((#" and hit the road. Still, I can always rent my house at for a positive cash flow even if I lower the market rent $1,000 a month.
Two years ago the irrational increase in home prices (in Phoenix where we use to live and other places) was my primary concern. Now that seems petty compared to what is going on in the world and between the West and Islam.
France will be in a hurt when all those millions of muslims that haven't integrated or adopted western values in Southern France join the international Jihad and the Pope is killed and war breaks out. Maybe then all this anti-americanism will see a swell of refugees from Europe fleeing the the relative safety of the USA surrounded by three large oceans.
Maybe that will be the marketing plan for a lot of folks who want to sell their homes.
then with the thong off and she drops to her kness anf gets to work
we may consider closing escrew
(I know how to spell it)
Any good stories ou there about realty whores?
WELL THERE THE ONE ABOUT THE R.E. AGENT WHO WAS JUST ABOUT TO GO INTO ESCROW, AND WHEN IT FELL OUT
SHE SCREAMED..."PUT IT BACK IN..QUICKLY....I'M NOT THERE YET"!!
But you can sleep with my wife--if you buy this house---True quote from a seller in Las Vegas
But you gotta take the kid when you knock her up...ans she WILL get knocked cause she is very vertile.....a Latino ya know..
just feel her up and she's knocked
Interesting blog. Thanks for the info.
Sincerely,
DialNoteFinder
buy note
http://www.DialNoteFinder.com
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