One of the posts got threadjacked into poetry hour, so here's one on it's own. Submit your best...
Anonymous said...
There was an old lady who lived in a shoe.
Who had some equity and didn't know what to do.
She leveraged her house, the payment she couln't handle.
So the old lady moved into a sandal.
Keith said...
hickory dickory dock, more for sale signs up the block.
The homeowners are done, Bob Toll has won, and now prices are falling like rocks
Anonymous said...
The bubble has burst.
Home prices are falling and inventory is growing, and I must go and tell David Lereah."
"How do you know that the bubble is burst, Chicken Little?" asked Henny Penny.
"I saw it with my eyes, I heard it with my ears, and a bit of it knocked me upside my head," said Chicken Little.
June 02, 2006
Housing Bubble Poetry Hour
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36 comments:
love the My Pet Goat picture... worth 1000000 words
Everywhere I look people are living beyond their means,
history shows us that eventually all they'll be able to afford to eat is a bowl of beans.
Waves of speculation break on the rocks,
The last wave was in internet stocks, streams of dark fiber like spaghetti twisted every which way over disaster,
Our latest wave are homes on flood plains and hills, sold over price to shills, flipping over one another these houses leap and land on people with financial disaster.
Baa, baa, man-sheep,
Have you any homes?
Yes sir, yes sir,
Three homes full.
One, a disaster,
One causing pain,
And one I’m selling to the kid
Who lives down the lane.
Baa, baa, man-sheep,
Have you any homes?
Yes sir, yes sir,
Three homes full.
Jack and Jill bought a house on the hill with an ARM and no money down. The bragging was great, til the rate went to 9.8 (%), now Jill is turing tricks close to town.
Is this the real life-
Is this just fantasy-
Caught in a mortgage-
With no escape from reality-
Open your eyes
Check out Kevin's site and see-
I'm just a poor boy, I need no sympathy-
Because I'm easy come,easy go,
Rates are high, turnover low,
Anyway the wind blows, doesn't really matter to me,
To me
Mama, just bought a home,
Got an ARM with nothing down,
For a McMansion out of town,
Mama, life had just begun,
But now I've gone and thrown it all away-
Greenspan ooo,
Didn't mean to make me cry-
When he said ARMs were just the way to fly-
Carry on, carry on, as if nothing really matters-
Too late, the sheriff's come,
Turned in my McMansion key-
My family thrown out on the street,
Goodbye everybody-I've got to go-
Gotta leave you all behind and face the truth-
Lerah ooo- (any way the wind blows)
I can see you lied,
You spun the truth and ruined, people's lives-
I see a little silhouetto of a man,
Ber-nan-ke, Ber-nan-ke will you do the Rate-Adjusto-
Quarter-point and lightning-very very frightening me-
Alan Greenspan, Alan Greenspan,
Alan Greenspan Alan Greenspan
Alan Greenspan figaro-WhereDidHeGo-o-o-o-o-
I'm the new Fed Chief and nobody loves me-
He's just the Fed Chief thrown into uncertainty-
Spare him his life from Greenspans monstrosity-
Easy come easy go-, will you let me go-
Ber-nan-ke! No- we will not let you go-let him go-
Ber-nan-ke!! We will not let you go-let him go
Ber-nan-ke! We will not let you go-let me go
Will not let you go-let me go
Will not let you go let me go
No, no, no, no, no, no, no-
Mama mia, mama mia, mama mia let me go-
AlanG has a devil put aside for me, for me, for me-
This is a song that I posted on my blog, not poetry. Hope that is ok. I wrote it with the help of another person to make fun of MALT (Marin Agricultural Land Trust) -- the trust buys up agri land (mostly cow pasture) and other open space in Marin County, CA so as to prevent any building on it. It has resulted in an artificial constriction in supply IMO.
THIS LAND IS MY LAND
(Apologies to Woody Guthrie)
Chorus:
This land is your land, this land is my land
From Sausalito, to north Novato
From the county border, to the Marin headlands
This land was made for mostly me
As I was grazing a ribbon of pasture
I saw above me an endless skyway
I saw below me your pricey homesteads
This land was made for mostly me
Chorus
I've mooed and munched and I've followed my hoofsteps
To the sparkling sands of her diamond beaches
And all around me a voice was sounding
This land was made for mostly me
Chorus
The sun comes shining as I was strolling
The wheat fields waving and the dust clouds rolling
The fog was lifting a voice come chanting
This land was made for mostly me
Chorus
As I was grazin' - I saw a sign there
And that sign said - you can't buy here
But on the other side .... it said in foreclosure
Now that side was made for mostly you!
Chorus
In the squares of the city - In the shadow of the steeple
Near the relief office - I see your people
And some are grumblin' and some are wonderin'
If this land's still made for mostly you.
Hey diddle diddle,
A Realtor in the middle,
Of homes jumping over the moon,
The little man laughed as he joined in the sport,
Of sealing half-wits to their eventual doom.
I love the Beans and Jack and Jill Riddle!
This what our society will be like.
Bubble Rap
Our Housing market’s a disaster.
House prices are falling faster and faster,
Yo yo yo yo mortgage is really your master,
the fall keeps fallin
The economy keeps crashin
The dollar, yen, euro keep mishmashin,
Crashin, boomin, bashin,
Lereah is the jester,
Realtwhores are even lesser
Beings than that,
China and Us are gonna spat,
Oil is good; gold is better than that,
better get out,
Better get out,
But where to move your pile so it gets phat?
Where to move your pile so it gets phat?
Keith,
sorry it posted twice, I am having a lot of trouble bringin up the blog today,
whatdayasay
hay hay hay
portfolios are red,
realtors are blue;
dump the hummer,
start taking the bus:
All Your Base Are Belong To Us
kisses,
Communist Party of China
PS: you'll be doing our laundry from now on.
With better spelling:
A young couple from Nantucket found the only home they could afford was and old worn out bucket,
An agent from Privy noticed their envy,
He sold them a barrel and told them they could take it away and not have to pay today,
Soon the couples elation had faded as their future and the agent made away.
bork - had to take it down - clean it up man! there's kids reading hp!
Darkness falls across housing land
The midnite hour is close at hand
Buyers crawl in search of blood
To terrorize y'awl's neighborhood
And whosoever shall be found
Without the soul for no money down
Must stand and face the hounds of hell
And rot inside a corpse's shell
The foulest stench is in the air
The funk of forty thousand illegals
And grizzy lenders from every tomb
Are closing in to seal your doom
And though you fight to stay alive
Your body starts to shiver
For no mere mortal can resist
The evil of the thriller
HAHAHAHAHA.....HAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!
There was an old woman who lived in a shoe.
"Gimme a Hummer, and I need Prada" shrieked that old hag, though she made nada
Her realtor said "we'll flip it---with new granite lace holes---that's what we'll do!"
"Don't forget, I want a pony too"
But upon smelling the sole, the flippers did bay, "Christ, your nine cats did they spray!"
And when the shoe did not sell,
Mean Professor Piggington threw her down the well, from where screamed at the Bank, Realtor and Bubble Bloggers:
"DAMN YOU! DAMN YOU ALL TO HELL!"
Anonymous said...
"There was an old woman who lived in a shoe.
"'Gimme a Hummer, and I need Prada' shrieked that old hag, though she made nada
"Her realtor said 'we'll flip it---with new granite lace holes---that's what we'll do!'
"'Don't forget, I want a pony too'
"But upon smelling the sole, the flippers did bay, 'Christ, your nine cats did they spray!'
"And when the shoe did not sell,
Mean Professor Piggington threw her down the well, from where screamed at the Bank, Realtor and Bubble Bloggers:
"'DAMN YOU! DAMN YOU ALL TO HELL!'"
This definitely is the best so far.
I can’t believe the news today
Oh, The NAR can't close our eyes and make it go away
How long...
How long before we sell this house?
How long? how long...
’cause tonight...we pay two mortgages for one
Tonight...
Broken promises at our children’s feet
HELOCs strewn across the dead end street
But I won’t heed the battle call
It puts my loan up
Puts my loan up against the wall
Sale day, bloody sales day
Sale day, bloody sales day
Sale day, bloody sell day (Sale day, bloody sell day...)
(allright lets sell!)
And the resets have just begun
There’s many lost, but tell me who has won
The trench is dug around our flips
And mothers, children, brothers, sisters torn apart
Sale day, bloody sale day
Sale day, bloody sale day
How long...
How long must we market this pig?
How long? how long...
’cause tonight...we can be as one
Tonight...
Tonight...
Sale day, $200k off sale day (tonight)
Tonight
Sale day, $250k off sale day (tonight)
(come get some!)
Wipe the buyers fears from your eyes
Wipe your FICA fears away
Wipe your bubble tears away
I wipe your fears away
(Sell day, bloody sell day)
I wipe your blood shot eyes
(Sell day, bloody sell day)
Sell day, bloody sell day (Sell day, bloody sales day)
Sell day, bloody sell day (Sell day, bloody sales day)
(here I come!)
And it’s true we are immune
When fact is fiction and tv reality
And today the millions cry
We flip and flop while tomorrow they die
The real battle yet begun (Sell day, bloody sales day)
To claim the victory Lereah has won (Sell day, bloody sell day)
On...
That’s great, it starts with an earthquake, birds and
Mortgages, a housing bubble and David Leareh is not afraid
Eye of a hurricane, listen to your flip churn - world
Serves it’s own needs, dummy serve your own needs. feed
It off a HELOC, grunt, no, strength, climb the property ladder
Start to clatter with fear fight down from the heights. wire
In a fire, representing seven games, a government
For hire and a condo site. left of west and coming in
A hurry with the foreclosures breathing down your neck. team
By team realtors baffled, trumped, tethered cropped
Look at that huge inventory! fine, then. uh oh,
Overflow, population slows, common areas, but it’ll do. save
Yourself, serve yourself. world serves it’s own needs,
Listen to your equity bleed dummy with the rapture and
The revered and the right, right. you vitriolic,
Patriotic, slam, fight, bright light, feeling pretty
Psyched
It’s the end of the world as we know it
It’s the end of the world as we know it
It’s the end of the world as we know it and I feel fine
Six o’clock - tv hour. don’t get caught in co-op
Towers. slash and burn, return, listen to your ARM
Churn. locking in, uniforming, book burning, blood
Letting. every motive escalate. automotive sales decimate
Light a candle, light a votive. step down, step down
Watch your heel crush, crushed, uh-oh, this means no
Fear cavalier. renegade steer clear! a spring pop,
Tournament, a tournament of lies. offer me solutions,
Offer me alternatives and I decline
(chorus)
It’s the end of the world as we know it (it’s time I had some time alone)
It’s the end of the world as we know it (it’s time I had some time alone)
It’s the end of the world as we know it and I feel fine (it’s time I had some time alone)
I feel fine
(repeat chorus)
"There was an old woman who lived in a shoe.
"'Gimme a Hummer, and I need Prada' shrieked that old hag, though she made nada...
This definitely is the best so far.
Did you write this to yourself? Dumbest poem ever.
hickory dickory dock
realtors suck
the end
My vote is for the Queen, U2 and the REM remakes with a little touch up and a video these would garner a lot of attention.
Humpty Dumpty housing bubble sat on a wall
Humpty Dumpty housing bubble had a great fall
All the feds horses and all the feds men
Couldn't put Humpty Dumpty housing bubble back together again
"Anonymous said...
"'There was an old woman who lived in a shoe.
"'"Gimme a Hummer, and I need Prada" shrieked that old hag, though she made nada...
"'This definitely is the best so far.'"
"Did you write this to yourself? Dumbest poem ever."
____________
I'm the anon who voted for this one, and still say it's best, and, no I didn't write it. It evokes the funniest images of all of the entries.
I am the Lereah
----------------
I am he as you are he as you are me another borrower f@cked together
Look what we flipped like a roach in a clip, see how we lied,
I'm crying
Sitting on a trust deed, waiting for the marks to sign
Corporation's Lexus, stupid Open Haus day
Man we've been a naughty boy we let our option-ARM grow long
I am the Realtor(tm)
They are the Realtors(tm)
I am the Lereah! goo goo g'joob!
Mister City Code Inspector
Pretty little 'llegals in a row
See how they fly, la migra! in the sky, see how they run
I'm crying
Expert shmexpert botoxed hookers
don't you think the joker laughs at you?
See how they whine *as if* pearls before swine
see how they snied
We ain't buying
Semolina pilchard, climbing up the Property Ladder
Elementary finance going Hari Krishna
Man you should have seen them kicking Benjamin Graham
I am the Realtor(tm)
They are the Realtors(tm)
I am the Lereah! goo goo g'joob
Robert Coté
The ENd of the wOrd aS we know it is the BEST ONE!
robert Coté
Awsome dude.
no probs keith did not realize we had younger viewers my bad
In my worst Elvis voice; "Thank yew, thank yew vurry much." I did those a few months ago for my own blog and thus no one read them. Thanks Keith for the temporary use of your audience.
Twas the night before my open house I sat and waited like a big fat louse.
The sign hung out side for sale by owner, for one month two months please call the Coroner.
I hope and i prayed someone would stop by $10,000 , $20,000 , $30,000 goodby.
Im at my wits end and smile with charm, to more months with that dam ARM.
If there are no takers what is one to do, grab a match and have a barbacue.
Burn baby burn ahh yes the equity was great, The Hummer the Granite the trip to kuwait.
Its all gone now I wont even fuss, Ill wait for the letter from the IRS.
Cause it's too late baby
Now it's too late
But we really did try to make the payments.
The equity inside has died
And we just can't hide
And we just can't fake it.
Plight of an aching real estate agent:
Before, I’d announce an open house, and I’d have to sell tickets,
Now it’s so quiet, I only hear crickets. (chirp, chirp)
At first it slowed down, to maybe a trickle,
Now the new pitch is: three condo’s for a nickel.
Oh, this one is gonna be a bruiser,
Don’t tell me I have to sell my P.T. Cruiser
I can still find a sucker and put them in a gem,
I just say, “See that house, it’s practically an ATM!”
I’m starting to see signs, “reduced, motivated, & instant equity”
I Tell ‘em, “before you put in an offer, be sure to check with me”
My previous customers will occasionally get low-ball offer, and they want to pounce,
I am privately thinking, “Just wait till we get a dead cat bounce”
There is a chance that there may be a soft landing,
But when the music stops, don’t be the last one standing
Last people that I told what price to list, they said, WHY?
I said, “You should not have taken that last cash-out refi”
Remember that 300k 1 bedroom condo you bought like a goon?
Hope you are not planning to sell anytime soon!
Where is the momentum when you need it the most
You hand-over the keys, and the dream home is lost
They tell me your American dream's faded to grey
They tell me your homes been taken away
And I don't have no IO loan to carry on
You declare Chapter 13, things just hit a new low
You're faking a smile as you're servin' up Joe
You tell me your life's swerved way cross the line
Your flipping days are all long behind
And I don't have no ARM to carry on
Cause you had a bad day
The home markets headed down
You sing a sad song just to turn it around
You say homes are so low
Now's a good time to buy
You work at McD's, and you take the bus ride
You had a bad day
Your credit rating don't lie
Your're coming back down and you really don't mind
You had a bad day
You had a bad day
I say briefly: Best! Useful information. Good job guys.
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