OK, they're in a world of hurt right now, with Bush hitting an all-time low, impeachment talk in the air, the housing bubble popping, interest rates rising, corruption throughout, debt soaring, dollar falling, $4 a gallon gas, and the Mideast spinning out of control.
But I think they can rally and keep the house in 2006, with some winning positions. Yes, Americans are that stupid.
So here's some GOP talking points and positions for starters:
* We still hate the faggots! Vote for us!
* We'll decide what's best for women - not women!
* Scientists and professors are evil - we'll get 'em!
* One day we're gonna get those terrorists from Iraq that attacked us on 9/11!
* We'll spend like drunk sailors on leave and lower your taxes again and again - screw your kids!
* Wal-Mart - always cheap prices!
* We'll keep those Blacks, Arabs and Gays in their place!
* The G-O-P is the party of G-O-D (and the Democrats are evil satanists)
* We'll get your house price going up again - we promise!
* Bottom Line: Rich White Men know better
If that doesn't work, they can always raise that Terror Alert again. Anyone find it odd how we haven't heard boo on that one since after the last election? Hmmm....
Doesn't anyone want the old Republican party back (low spending, low taxes, limited government, competent foreign policy)?
And here's the Democrat winning position for 2006:
* We're not Republicans - so vote for us
April 21, 2006
Let's help the Republican Party come up with some winning positions for 2006
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24 comments:
Keith:
Hmm.... that's good except... aren't those their stated positions now? I mean, you did forget to mention 'truthiness' but I think you have them covered.
ben.cota@gmail.com
How about this:
Dear American People,
Please name ONE (1) initiative that the Democratic Party has offered this political season to improve your life.
Oh … and by the way, welfare recipients or slackers need not respond!
LOL
Don't think just vote for us.
anon 7:03, it might have escaped your attention, but the Republicans have controlled all three branches of government for quite some time now.
For better or worse, they own the current situation.
vote : Joseph Stalin...
oh my bad what country is this!
Dear American People,
Please name ONE HUNDRED (100) MISERYS that the Republican Party has brought upon us since taking office//
100 being a low number of course.
Ill add democrat to the above reply..cause they are just as MISERABLE! in all fairness.
From The Democrats:
Dear American People,
Vote for us though we haven’t had a good idea in over 30 years. And we’re not republicans.
(My prediction is the dems have valid shoot at taking control of congress, however it will likely be a short stint for them. When the party tows out old Teddy Kennedy, Howard Dean and all the other idiots, their true stripes will show!)
(BTW, WE NEED A THIRD PARTY)
From the republicans
Vote for us and we will continue to rape the treasury in your name, fill our pockets with useless dollars, while you peeons go about your daily lives like a bunch of ass wiping sheep that you are.
Vote now! Here let me help you with the punch card.
it's truly amazing what has happened to the republican party - sad really.
For the first time in my lifetime, I feel like a viable, third party candidate with a different vision from the status quo could actually win an election for president.
Any centrist potential third party candidates come to mind for 2008?
1) Donald Trump
2) Jon Stewart
3) Howard Stern
4) Jack Welch
5) Oprah
6) Tom Brokaw
7) Clint Eastwood
Republican strategy: "We'll keep quiet as our opponents attempt to define us with extreme rhetoric so the the truth actually looks reasonable in comparison. Then we'll point to them and ask if they think this can they be trusted with power?"
If you don't make George W. Bush Emperor for Life, the terrorists have won!
Grid lock is what we need. When one party rules everything, then human nature will have its way.
The Dems are no better, they are tax and spend and probably more arrogant than the Repubs. But its time for them to have some power and let the pendulum start swinging the other way. Its at the extremes that we have problems, and the middle part of the pendulum move is the sweet spot, aka, grid lock.
they are tax and spend
Yes, borrow and spend is so much better.
as amazingruss said, don't bother.. Diebold machines will vote for you.
and to that I'll quote:
"Live Free or Die Bold"
-anonymous.
Grid lock is what we need. When one party rules everything, then human nature will have its way.
That's why divided gubmint makes sense. The Repugs in the Presidency and Dems in the legislature. That way they neutralize each others weak points and the people can pressure both parties when something important needs to get done.
NOTE to GOP- No more dangerous morons in the White House. We don't give a damn how religious they are. Being religous does not make them moral or intelligent. In fact, the less religious the better. GET IT?
How can the 30% stalwarts still support Bush? BTW Robert Cote, the poll numbers were very similar to what the were when the hous turned in 1994. People never even heard the "Contract on America"
As for the Republican strategy: "We'll keep quiet as our opponents attempt to define us with extreme rhetoric so the the truth actually looks reasonable in comparison. Then we'll point to them and ask if they think this can they be trusted with power?"
Apparently most of the country feels that the republicans can't do a good job. Just about the same as in 1994. DickinBush are going down when the election is over in November, as long as they don't rig the elections again.
m reynolds
"...as long as they don't rig the elections again."
m reynolds
Well of course if Gore lost and Kerry lost, it HAD to be rigged. There's no other explanation! Bush probably designed that confusing Palm Beach ballot to purposely confuse old jewish people. And then had a plant (secret operative) pretend it was his design and had it approved.
6 years of Sore Loserman and you're still hanging on. You tried every trick you could & you lost. Just let it go.
I was wondering if anyone complaining about the 2000 and 2004 elections would be willing to look at the 1960 Illinois elections? Nixon's losing there and not plunging the nation into upheaval was his greatest sacrifice. It twisted him such that we got the Nixon of 1968 and not 1960.
dotcom bubble = good
housing bubble = evil
that makes sense
Now for more left-wing lies exposed:
Remember the libtard lies about 8 years of peace and prosperity under Sleazy Willie? Now here's the truth. As you can see, unemployment was actually higher under Sleazy Willie's first term than it was under Bush's first term.
http://www.infoplease.com/ipa/A0104719.html
once again Keith, you want us to believe you are NOT a Dem? C'mon bro. It is obvious. Abortion is killing by the way. How can Scott Peterson be charged and convicted of killing an unborn child? In a liberal left state btw. Stay in the UK.
HAVE YOU BEEN SLEEPING UNDER A ROCK, KEITH?
ELECTIONS DON'T MATTER ANYMORE. JUST STEAL THE NEEDED VOTES WITH THE APPROPRIATE SOFTWARE LIKE IN FLORIDA AND OHIO (THE ONES WE KNEW.)
Also, the "old" Rep. Party is still the one of hatred and Jezzzzzzzus just like the new one. There is no new or old.
The last Republican president to balance a budget was Eisenhower.
How these people got the reputation of being fiscally prudent is a great mystery.
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