OK HP'ers, let's get it out of our system. Some may be warm, nice, caring, kind people, not deserving of our scorn, caught up in a profession that even they would admit is "yucky". Seriously.
But let's have at it, once and for all, for the other 99%.
Realtors are a dying breed, leaches, dishonest, pathetic losers. GED hopefuls, with no redeeming qualities. Liars, cheats, corrupt and evil. People who'll say anything to make a buck, who'd sell out their own mother to sell a house. Whores for their 3%.
A profession who 20 years from now will have 10% of the total workforce as they have today (hello, Mr. Internet). People who live for the "big kill", who never worked a day in their life. Women who wear WAY too much eyeshadow and blush, men who pluck their eyebrows.
Here's your chance. HP declares it "National Realtors Are Leaches Day". Let 'er rip.
March 01, 2006
Realtors. The blood sucking leaches of society. Let it rip.
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30 comments:
It really surprises me that people still use realtors to sell their houses so many years after the invention of craigslist.
It's called MLS. Without it realtors would be a thing of the past.
Why pay 6% to have someone that probably flunked out of college tell you the basement doesn't leak?
Let's not forget there are ethical honest realtors out there although it's been a while since I've worked with one.
The last realtor I dealt with called each saturday saying "I thought we would be signing a deal today". Uh no, why would I pay $45,000 for 3 acres that is 2/3 swampland beside a trailer. I offered half that and was told NO WAY. Therefore, no deal.
Ok, let's go ahead and call them names, but I think the more important things is to actually punish the ones who have pulled some really shady shit in the last few years. Secret kickbacks from sellers, for example. After dot-com blew up, you have people getting dragged into court, people getting sued, people being publically pilloried. I want Johnny Law to put some of these SOB's in handcuffs.
Accountability, people. Justice. Someone get Eliott Spitzer on the phone. Who's with me?
The realtors who work out of the posh offices in the "affluent towns" (i.e.: Sea Girt, Spring Lake) are the worst. They believe they are entitled to, or earned this lavish life style. Their "biographies" are posted like they have their Doctorates - their "glamour shot" photos are smiling next to their listings. Are they selling homes -or is this an undercover escort service?
Unfortunately I known one particular realtor, who is a notorious liar, cheat, manipulator, and has screwed over his family, friends and peers to make a buck.
He is a disgusting person, and looks like a fool with his failed attempts to buy class and taste.
Beware of this fake, elite type. They have lying down to an art. It doesn't take any skill or education to list million dollar houses and let the MLS do all the work.
The company I work for owns the bulding i am in and rents a floor to a RE company. I am so sick of seeing their Hummers, Jaguars and spinning rims in the parking lot. You get into the elevator with them and so much bad taste in clothing, jewelry, perfume and cologne makes me want to puke. I am also tired of them asking I am ready to refi and 'liberate my equity'. I cant wait for that day comes when they are gone. What's up with that husband and wife RE team pose where they are arms crossed, back to back? LOL Friken scumbags.
Your words are complements to me.
I am a realtor in Los Angeles and bought two homes from For Sale By Owner just within the last four months.
One of the homes I live in. The savvy individual, who is probably as savvy as all of you are, sold me the house @ $300k under market.
The other I sold within 37 days of completing my purchase at a net profit of $125,000.
I hope to see all of your For Sale By Owner Signs soon, but none of you own.
Oh well my loss.
Lips are moving!
Aren't you a sleazy, smart realtor. Do you have a crystal ball? I do own 2 beautiful homes wortj over $550k each. I'd love to sell you one for the appraisal I just had done...oh, that's right - you choose to ignore your ethics and screw people. Good for you! I am glad you are happy, but aren't you a complete a$$0ole trying to piss off potential buyers? Why don't you send us a few of your listings/ We'd love to do busines with you.
Hey Anon Realtor,
I am SURE that one of our brothers and sister can find out who you are by going through the sales in LA.
I am sure that your CLIENTS will want to know of your business ethics.
Zillow.com, craigslist.org, local newspapers.
What more is there to say about the guardians of the MLS?
Realtors are not a thing of the past its the newbie realtors and weekend warrior realtors,soccer moms that are a thing of the past. Professional realtors and yes there are a few are a very important part of many transactions. You are not buying and selling a pair of shoes. The main reason For SAle buy Owners have been popular and easy to accomplish was because we were in a hot market. Buying and selling a Home is very emotional for both parties there is alot of hand holding and drama that needs to be addressed in a sale. There are countless items that go into a transaction. The Mls only attracts other Realtors who have qualified potential buyers. I have to agree that in the last few years way to many people came into the Real Estate Biz who are unqualified and uneducated and have added fuel to the speculative market. The sellers are to blame as well as the flippers and banks, appraisers who financed this hocus pocus. Also the Government for leaving interest rates so low for to long and allowing exotic mortgages and 100 percent financing. The local governments from California to Florida were on the verge of Bankruptcy before this housing boom and Tax Lotto win for the cities accross America. This Housing Boom was a great big Bail out of Local Governments. The easy money is gone in The real estate profession and only the true professional hard working realtor will be left to clean up the mess and deal with the never ending headaches and stress. Believe me there pictures arent gonna be pretty.
Yes some of those newbies glamour shot photos will be turned into mug shots.
I went to the bar to get a couple beers tonight and guess what, I wind up sitting beside a realtor. A pretty one. She talked my ear off over two hours of how it was a buyers market but a great investment for 2+ years. I never did get in a word edgewise especially since I'm an economist. That's okay, she gave me her business card and wants me to buy her dinner friday, so after I finish banging her, I'll tell her the economist said hello.
I've got the best story. I play in a weekend cover band for a little extra money. The female lead singer (and not a very good one at that) is a real estate agent. She has been telling me for the last year that I need to buy, the value of my house will increase 10 to 15 % a year. I told her not only no, but hell no. I know the real estate market is overvalued in the Twin Cities by about 20%. It is going to stagnate, or drop quickly when ARMS and I/O mortgages start to adjust.
I know she is in a panic now because she is pushing her real estate services in between songs. It is pretty pathetic....yet somehow pleasing. :)
OK, I want to say that I believe it is true that not all realtors are total bottom feeders. I actually know a few who offer good service. But man there are a lot of scumbags.
Keith, Your post reminded me of a Nick Cave song called Scum:
Well, I lived with one
Well, I lived with one, I lived with two,
I even lived with a third
I wanna tell you about number one
He was a miserable shitwringing turd
Like he reminded me of some evil gnome
Shakin hands was like shakin a hot, fat, oily bone
Holdin on for far too long
Yes he took me in, he took me in
He said that I looked pale and thin
I told him he looked fat
His lips were red and lickin wet
His house was roastin hot
In fact it was a fuckin slum
Scum! Scum!
Well then he hooked up with some slut from the same game
Black snow! Black snow!
Cocksuckstress, and I should know
Mean and vicious, her microphone always smelled suspicious
His and herpes bath towel type
If you know what I mean
I could not look at him, worm
He'd be takin a shower and who should walk in
He was the epitome of their type
Her middle name was Welcome, his was Wipe
Scum! Scum!
Well you're on the shit list
Thrust and twist, twist and screw
You gave me a bad review
And maybe you think that it's all just water under the bridge
Well my UNfriend, I'm the type that holds a grudge
I'm your creator
I think you fuckin traitor, chronic masturbator,
Shitlicker, user, self-abuser, jigger jigger!
What rock did you crawl from?
Which ..... did you come?
You Judas, Brutus, Vitus, Scum!
Hey four-eyes, come
That's right, it's a gun
Face is bubble, blood, and ...... street
Snowman with six holes clean into his fat fuckin guts
Psychotic drama mounts
Guts well deep then a spring is fount (?)
I unload into his eyes
Blood springs
Dead snow
Blue skies
anonymous realtor:
"Your words are complements to me."
Did you mean "compliments?" There is a difference. You could look it up if you can read.
"I hope to see all of your For Sale By Owner Signs soon, but none of you own. "
Since "none" is singular (probably cingular to you), the proper phrasing would be "... but none of you OWNS."
You are doing a great job of perpetuating the notion that many real estate professionals are school dropouts. Keep it up.
You better make sure that measlt 125k stretches out pretty far, I think you may be needing every penny of it in the years ahead of us. If I were you, I would start retraining for another career. Get a head start before the stampede. You dont want to be interviewing in a saturated market of ex- realtors. Sorry but the truth is your kind a re a dime a dozen. Truth hursts huh?
The anonymous realtor's comment is great! Most times realtors complain that FSBOs list their houses way too HIGH. "No, you don't want to see that one; it's too expensive." Read: "You don't want to see that one; I won't get a commission." This is the first time I've heard claims that FSBOs list BELOW market price. That's just funny. As if FSBOs don't have access to comps and current listings. Puh-lease.
Talk about a self-fulfilling prophecy. Thanks to anon realtor for not dissapointing us.
SCUM!!
here ya go:
http://miami.craigslist.org/rfs/138142684.html
its a money loser! yet he's gonna buy. oh and i looked him up in state of florida realtors assoc. guess what.
he's been in the biz for 6 months. ha ha.
SCUM!!!!
anon,
Did you get that off of my blog?
I posted that yesterday. Yes, another wizard of real estate with a whopping 6 months of experience.
I love the part where he says," Units are only available through brokers at this time. Sales will open to the public around March 25 at a higher price."
Is it legal to say that? How can you solicit a sale to the public when he says the public cannot buy until March 25?
http://southfloridarealestatebubble.blogspot.com/
I think it is a joke that a certain Monmouth County, NJ has web site stating how honest, ethical and professional they are.
Why on earth would they write that unless there was doubt that they had these qualities? They also have the glam shots and "resumes" of their agents' past professions... I guess they weren't very good at thise either.
I own a mfg co. in SO CAL an dI have talked to several of my customers who own "boiler room" type telemarketing companies selling industrial supplies and misc. tools etc. Several of these owners have told me that in the early nineties when the market softened, they were flooded with RE agents looking for telemarketing jobs. They each had a dozen or so working for them at any time, in the nineties. Now they are back selling RE, but I suspect that my customers will soon have a new influx a willing (desperate) and able (marginally) "salespeople" to "work their phones."
January '06 YoY gains of 19% in Broward and 26% in Dade represent undeniable evidence that all those bloated bong huffing boomers will soon be homeless porn shop jizz moppers and we will own their cribs.
A Blog like this shows how nuch interest there is in owning property.
Also I am sorry you all missed the boat this time around.
Hope you can afford to buy if there is a down-turn.
So to all my future clients welcome to my open house.
I agree all these dreamers without a pot to piss in
To the last two comments - I guess you would consider $500k cash to put down on a house "not a pot to piss in". Oooooh! I'd LOVE to buy a house from you - please send me your listings! You scumbags won't see a penny of my money!
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I think focusing on such negativism makes the world a much unhappier place.
First of all not all realtors are dropouts. As a matter of fact, I have a 4-year degree, as do many of my colleagues. Some even have law degrees.
Second of all, most people simply CANNOT be objective about the value of their own home, and when they try to sell it themselves, they take everything PERSONALLY, with a pathetic blind faith that their home is the BEST one in the n'hood.
Third, someone mentioned Craigslist as a good place to advertise real estate and find qualified buyers. REALLY??? Because I've been putting my listings on craigslist for months, and all I get are endless calls and e-mails from unqualified, "margin of society" types who either have crap credit or are NINJAS (NO INCOME, NO JOB OR ASSETS).
Finally, when I worked in the public sector, I found that everyone criticized city workers, calling them lazy and unmotivated. Now that I am a realtor, this profession seems to have about as much respect as prostitution. So tell me, holier than thou internet ----Turds what is your precious, infallable profession that allows you to criticize others? It had better be "Assistant to Jesus Christ," because that's what all of you act like. As soon as someone is successful, shame on them.
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